Unrestrainable Affection
by TheWillOfMythal
Summary: Piper studies Alex a little more closely while thinking back at the very beginning of their relationship.
1. Chapter 1

Hi everyone!

So, as usual I'm a bit late and I still have to start with the forth season of Orange. I've actually recently started rewatching the third one from the beginning and making my way up through the episodes whenever I can, but I'm still taking my time with it :)

However, I had this idea a few days ago, and since someone *cough*Vausemaniac*cough* kind of asked me to write some Vauseman, here it is :D

As I said in the summary it shows the beginning of Alex and Piper relationship...

I'm also experimenting with a new style lately. I hope you won't mind the different POV :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Orange Is The New Black

Enjoy

* * *

Alex Vause is a wild creature. You know that now.

You have known that for a while actually but in the meantime you have just kept listing all the aspects, especially the small ones, that made her resemble more and more to something that you could properly name, only to find out that there is nothing she can be properly compared to in nature.

Not even her beauty can be found somewhere else with the same astonishing intensity of her pure form. But that's a whole other aspect of her, a more physical one that you deeply enjoy and cherish.

You don't know from where comes the need that you feel about comparing Alex to some specific creature, but there is simply something so raw and proud and majestic about her that inspires you to look a little more extensively into the animal kingdom, where your _research_ , as you have decided to call it, brings you within the Felidae family, the Panthera species in general, and more specifically among lionesses and leopards.

There are traits of her there that fascinates you, and deep similarities that you can't certainly ignore.

The resemblance is quite impressive actually, but the conclusion at which you arrive eventually, is that Alex Vause remains a unique creature in her own wildness.

A wild creature with a few notions of domestication.

She is independent, instinctive, mostly nocturnal, and she purrs when you scratch her gently behind her neck and ears, or when you feed her something she particularly likes.

You have studied her carefully in all her enviroments and you can tell that she enjoys company, although not always people in their singularity. In fact, she is very socially selective when not for buisiness. Very few are the ones that she keeps near and truly enjoy, but the company that she prefers above anyone else's, is yours. And here is where the animal-like behaviour part of Alex Vause leaves a gap and gives more space to her human side, showing her kaleidoscope of emotions, so intense and true - sometimes even in their veiled subtlety - that spins to give colours and shapes to the conventional world around you.

She affects you that much.

She is always open about how she feels, while you sometimes tend to withold things from her, but only because you keep them hidden to yourself as well.

You both envy and admire her confidence - although you don't think you would ever be able to wear it so naturally and flawlessly like she does - because beside the whole most obvious physical attraction thing, that's what makes you stay and order a margarita that night in that bar when you first meet her.

Just like the rest of her, it has an irresistible magnetic pull to you. Something that goes beyond your control and pierces right through your curiousity to reach somewhere deep and primal.

She teases you about your resume and you flush with embarrassment, a reaction that you'll learn is one of her favourites to see on you, and one that she always tries to earn at every possible occasion because yeah, she is also a teasing little shit.

But that's okay. The sting of embarrassment is more than worth the deep husky laugh that always follows and the gleam of warm genuine amusement that you see sparkle with life in her emerald pools whenever she teases you.

It stirs something inside you since that very first time you see it.

That night ends with her mischievous, and kind of promising "See you around, Piper" something that you take litterally and that encourages you to return in that same bar a few nights later.

She is there.

And so she is two nights after that.

You always spot her first, even in the crowd, because everything about her could easily stand out among hundreds. Her voice, her laugh, and even the faint traces of her scent in a packed room is enough to perk up your ears. And she gives you this huge smirk every time she sees you approach.

She is funny. She is intelligent. She is gorgeous.

She likes you. That much you can tell, and being around her feels like being constantly high from adrenaline and attached to a battery car, as if there is something warm and tingling starting from somewhere inside you that floods your veins and runs down your spine, radiating all over your body to tickle every nerve ending, like some kind of drug, making you feel lightheaded and heavy with its glorious effect at the same time whenever her gaze lingers a little longer on you.

It's the most invigorating thing you have ever experienced.

You finally exchange numbers but eventually, after almost a week spent wondering about all the unknown things that make your blood sing whenever your mind drifts inevitably towards her, you are the one who calls her.

She offers you to meet her at a bar. This time it's just you and her, and even if the margarita that sits in front of you is probably the most delicious thing that has ever touched your tongue, for the entire time you can't take your eyes off those rosy generous lips of hers, having a feeling that they would taste a thousand times better than anything you have ever tried before.

You remain thirsty for the rest of the evening. Unconsciously squirming in your seat.

And the way she looks at you doesn't make things any easier.

"You know, I live not far from here..." She says _almost_ innocently when you step outside the bar, still pretending that whatever this is it isn't headed in _that_ direction, yet as her voice trails off she leaves enough space for your obvious interpretation. It's an invitation and a question, a final search for the minimal trace of hesitation or doubt, all at once.

But she doesn't need to ask.

The way your body has been responding to her for the whole night gives you no choice.

So you accept, blinded by the mischievous little smirk full of promises that she flashes you.

You are not drunk, you are not even tipsy. The tequila has certainly done its effect making you just a little more breezy, but you surely are fully intoxicated by Alex.

Her heady fragrance, her husky voice, her subtle touches and the warmth that you can practically feel radiating from her are all over you, so when you arrive at her building and get into the elevator - not even looking a bit surprised when she presses for the top floor, because go figures - the sense of anticipation that has been fueled during the short walk burst into the quiet restricted space as soon as the doors close and she gazes so obviously at you.

You beat her on time for just a split second but she is the one who dominates your mouth till the top floor.

And your assumption was right. Her lips are the softest thing on earth, and she does taste better than anything you have ever tried before. But not only that, because of course she so happens to make your head spin with the best make out session you have ever shared with anyone. Made infinitely better by all the light touching and firm but gentle groping that happens in between as you stumble towards her door and, once inside, towards the bed while eagerly removing each other's clothes.

You soon find out that Alex Vause is not a tease in bed, but she does love to take her time. And that litterally kills you, in the best possible ways.

She finds all your weak spots, and like the best of predators she exploits them, experimenting with different touches, applying more or less pression and - your favourite - switching between using her fingertips and mouth on the most sensitive and responsive ones.

She kisses and bites her way down your body in what you can only describe as an eager patience, something that makes you impossibly restless with growing need.

When she takes pity on you and focus her attentions where you need her the most, the warmth of her mouth almost makes you sob with relief.

She laps your clit with devotion, takes it between her lips with gentle sucks, and teases your entrance with the tip of her tongue until your juices are glistening on her rosy lips and running freely down her chin.

When you come it's long and hard and wet and frenetic. You search for something to hold onto, unable to keep still as pleasure assaults your senses and leaves you breathless to the point that you think you might pass out.

The waves of the aftershock crash into you for entire minutes after, turning into a gentle hushed echo just as your breathing returns to normal and your body seems to respond to your commands once again.

It's unquestionably the best sexual experience you ever had.

And you are eager to return the favor, unconcerned by the whole "never been with a woman before" thing. Because fuck, there is no room for all that nonsense. You are still so thirsty from before, and now that you have gotten a taste of her heavenly lips, it has only made you more desperate to taste her true essence.

Unfortunately, you get brutally and dramatically interrupted, by the worst discovery no less, and after you snap at Alex what she deserves before slamming the door, and find yourself walking home barefoot up the god-knows-what-I'm-walking-on sidewalks of Manhattan, fuming and aching and with the fresh uncomfortably wet reminder persisting between your thighs, you swear to never go look for her and never see her again.

That resolution lasts for ten days.

And somehow you consider it some kind of victory anyway because damn, resist with the constant throb between your legs day and night for almost two weeks after the mind blowing orgasm which its still fresh memory makes your hand slid under the waistband of your underwear more times that you can count, is definitely a record you are proud of.

But there is more to it than just the reminder of the best orgasm of your life whenever you think about Alex.

The fluttering warm feeling surfaces from your belly and makes its way into your chest every time you linger on the thought of her flashing you one of those rare but sincere mischievous-free smiles of hers, or whenever you think back about her giving you a glimpse of her passionate and beautiful mind whenever you engaged into something literature or historically related. And then there is that something that is purely Alex that you don't know if you'll ever be able to find a word to describe, but that you have felt flare with ardor when you have kissed her.

It gives you that hollow sensation in your stomach and it expands your chest with warmth and emotion.

You wonder is she feels that too.

And that's probably what gives you the extra push to venture in that bar that night; the need to know if whatever this is, is just one sided.

You really hope it isn't.

You kind of know it isn't.

You weren't so sure about such idea at first, mostly because of the whole girlfriend thing, but once you find yourself there with her in front of that bathroom stall feeling good because you are being brave and a little reckless for once, everything is repaid in the moment she leans in to kiss her answer on your lips.

And you are glad that you did it.

Because if you had changed your mind and decided to stay home that night, you know with an almost absolute certainty that you wouldn't be here now, in bed with Alex months later, after one of your longest sex marathons.

You look at her with longing, sprawled all over the bed, covered by just the sheets, looking so magnificent, sated and satisfied, and you can't help but think back about her as a wild feline.

She has asked you to go to Indonesia with her earlier this evening; leave everything and go being adventurous with her for a while.

"Are you sure you want me there with you?" You decide to ask her softly after a few moment of silence, scooting to stay a little closer to her and mentally adding _"...because I wouldn't want to restrain you in anyway, you amazing wild thing."_

You stroke her soft black mane and listen to the low guttural content hums of appreciation that she does in the back of her throat, watching the way her eyelids flutter as she leans against your touch seeking for more, like a grown, affectionate and tamed black panther would do with her mistress.

You almost expect her to lick your hand.

Instead she shifts to rests her head in your lap, opening her eyes and looking up at you with those bright piercing green gems.

"Of course I do." She answers truthfully with a little smirk tugging at her lips. "Why, you don't want to come anymore?" A small sad note seeps in her voice at this, but there is also a silent, comforting understanding in her look, as if you have suddenly changed your mind she would accept that without questioning it.

The trace of vulnerability in her is endearing, sometimes foreign, but it attracts you just as much as all her strongest traits do. And the fact that she lets it show sometimes, says everything about how much she trusts you and loves you.

Alex's love makes you ache. And you make sure that she aches as well with the same scorching intensity of yours.

Alex doesn't believe in ownership, you don't either. Yet, she still leaves her signature all over your body with delicious bites that sting so sweetly and light bruises that paint your pale skin for days, making your body vibrate with the echo of how they got there when you skim your fingers over them, enthusiastic to sport the signs of Alex primal possessiveness that she leaves during those lust filled moments.

No, you don't believe in ownership, but at the end of the day, when you get into bed with Alex and you curl yourself against her front and she wraps her arm protectively around your waist, you feel like - in a way that can be only be explained with that secret language that exclusively you and Alex speak - you are hers and she is yours, and you belong with her, wherever she is and nowhere else.

You smile down at her, shifting in you position so that you can cup her cheek and kiss her.

Slowly.

Sweetly.

Reassuringly.

When you pull back she is already grinning, all sharp teeth and excitement, because you and Alex don't always need actual words. But just because you can't hold them so tightly in your chest this time, you still whisper your answer against her lips as she tenderly bumps her nose against yours.

"I'd go anywhere with you, Alex."

* * *

 **I think I'll always see Alex as some kind of fierce panther...** **Anyway, again this was just a little something I've been writing while rewatching the third season and a few older scenes till I'll decide to start watching the fourth season.** **It could stay just like this as a one shot or... as an introduction for an eventual, more explicit piece about the beginning and evolution of their relationship. And if you want that... Well, j** **ust say the word :)**


	2. Chapter 2

Hi there!

Ok, so since you guys have asked for more I decided to continue with this :D I also wanted to thank you for all the kind comments you left about the first chapter and decided to follow/favorite the story :) I think I will continue with jumps in time, so not a constant flow of their life day by day, but focusing a bit more in examining Piper and Alex's relationship as a couple during the years they have been together, the more relevant moments and couple-like things/problems, adding a few scenes of shameless smut here and there because... Well, I've always thought sex was an important factor in their relationship ;) Anyway, sorry to keep you guys waiting for a week but I'm also writing another story about Person of Interest right now and I'm trying to pay both stories equal attention :)

Now I'll leave you to the second chapter...

Oh, by the way... This one contains a bit of smut :D

Enjoy

* * *

It took you twenty endless hours of flight and one stopover.

Your ears have been blocked because of the altitude changes for almost the whole time, your legs are beyond numb, and generally you feel as stiff as a log.

But you are finally here.

The Indonesian heaven.

And every small discomfort and the few traces of nervousness are gone and replaced by the purest sense of astonishment as soon as you see the place that Alex has reserved for the two of you.

It's a whole, private, holiday home.

An impressively vast and modernly furnished open space.

Pool terrace.

Glass walls.

And a view to die for.

Because yeah, you forgot to mention that said house is located right on a cliff.

It's almost like being suspended in air, and all that is showed in front of you, is the blue, calm, endless ocean.

It's probably the most breathtaking sight you have ever witnessed.

Well... After Alex. Who smirks at you so fully when she sees the look of amazement on your face.

"Since we may have to stay here for a while, I thought it was better stay comfortable and enjoy it all the way, right?"

Oh, indeed. You think with a widening grin of your own.

"Also, from up here no one will hear you scream." She adds in a conspiratorial almost dangerous deeper tone filled with promises that makes your body buzz in all the most sensitive places.

Your answer is to grab her and kiss that cocky smirk off her face until she is groaning in your mouth and pressing you against the nearest wall. A combination that is more than enough to have you shivering with anticipation.

It takes a couple of days though for you to have some real quality time together.

Alex has been working almost no stop since you got here two days ago, you have barely seen her actually, but you haven't complained about it; you knew it would have mostly been a business trip, and actually you have been good with it. A couple of days to rest and get used to the local hour after the long trip was what you needed to get yourself back together and fully operational once again.

You wonder how Alex can endure this all the time honestly.

She has promised the whole day dedicated just to the two of you today. And even if she hasn't told you yet what you are going to do, just the prospect of an entire day with Alex and the reminder of the smirk full of promises that she has flashed you when she told you about such plan, has been more than enough to make you extremely excited.

So much in fact that it has gotten you up even before dawn.

Like an excited little kid on Christmas morning.

It's practically still night, barely five a.m you guess by the still pretty dark sky, but the first shades of that icy, vivid blue are already slowly starting to form at the horizon in layers.

The effect is nothing less than stunning; moving and changing but also still and quiet at the same time, an impression that is amplified by the background of the gentle hiss of the wind outside and the distant, rhythmical crash of the waves against the cliff.

It almost lulls you back to sleep, but the soft, gentle breathing of the gorgeous raven haired woman sleeping peacefully right beside you is what catches your attention with even more interest.

You'll never get tired to admire Alex during her sleep.

It's so unique in its simplicity, so beautifully contrasting with everything that she is, because Alex Vause is anything but something quiet and docile and innocent.

Her purest form is vigorous and raw, but in the most elegant and exquisite way.

Alex is not exactly grumpy when she wakes up in the morning, but she is not even particularly content either. You have learned that she enjoys sleep, even the one that she can get from the rare occasional naps that she takes during particularly lazy days, it's in her nature after all and you usually get to enjoy the sight with a broad grin on your face. Especially if she happens to fall asleep while reading with her head in your lap, glasses still on and book abandoned open on her chest.

When she wakes up she makes little grunts and other small protesting noises, especially if the brightness of the sun happens to hit her face, making her squint her eyes and roll over to escape the light, burying her head against her pillow or, even better, into the crook of your neck or against your chest.

You can barely resist the urge to chuckle when she does this, especially if she also nuzzles affectionately your collarbone with her nose, humming contently at the familiar smell of your skin as she wraps an arm around your waist to bring you closer.

In those moment two are the things you usually do, the first one is to enjoy the sight with a strong flutter echoing in your chest as you run your fingers through her slightly wild mane and the other is encourage her to open those stunning green eyes with a playful "wakey wakey Al," or a more quiet and slightly seductive "where is my roaring tiger this morning?" followed by a string of kisses left on her cheek, down her neck and anywhere your lips can reach, that usually manage to turn those protesting groans into low, sleepy hums of appreciation.

Now however you are a little conflicted. You don't want to wake her up, she has been up till late for the past few days and even if she is used to such routine, you know she could use some much needed sleep.

Someone would dare to call creepy the way you look at Alex when she sleeps or is barely barely awake. But you know with absolute certainty that she doesn't mind the attentions, at all. Because it's _your_ attention and she loves every form of it that you offer her, even if it is just your loving gaze.

You reach out a hand, now no longer able to control the itch that you feel there at the idea of tucking aside that loose strand of black hair from her face, letting your fingers linger for a few moments longer on the soft skin of her cheek, and you swear that she has just leaned in a little against your touch.

You are probably wrong.

But you definitely do not misinterpret when she lets out what really sounds like a hushed barely audible moan just as you see her legs moving a little under the blankets.

You can't even help the little smirk that starts tugging at the corner of your mouth as you look at her, oblivious of your curious, loving scrutiny, wondering where the rampant dreams formed by that beautiful mind are taking her, if you are in them too, maybe.

You really hope so.

And when you hear her hum very softly in the back of her throat, noticing that she has just pressed and rubbed her thighs together once again, your suspicious are kind of confirmed.

 _So that's what you are dreaming about, isn't it?_ You wonder through what is now a full grin, because of course Alex's insatiable libido would follow her even in her dreams.

Your eyes rake up and down her body taking in every detail you come across, from the subtle but recognizable twitches that you notice in her expression, to the slow, steady rise and fall of her chest, to way the sheets fall from around her waist revealing a strip of the pale soft skin of her smooth stomach and the sweet dip there of her hip.

Your mouth waters at the thought of nibbling at it delicately and maybe keep going even a little lower.

You find yourself scooting just a bit closer, your hand already halfway to intrude gently under her shirt and feel the warmth of her body against yours, when you suddenly stop.

 _I shouldn't_ , you think guiltily, biting you bottom lip like a little kid trying to resist at the idea of a very tempting naughtiness would do.

But the thought of having your hands, maybe even your mouth on Alex... God. Your eyes flutter shut and a familiar throb starts in your lower belly at the image that has formed in your head. The one of a moaning Alex writhing beneath you, all wet and hot and sweaty holding your head in place, fingers laced through your hair, nails digging deliciously in your scalp as she rides out the apex of her pleasure all over your face.

Jesus.

You would _love_ to go down on her and wake her up with your tongue, offering her the slowest build-up followed by the sweetest orgasm she ever had... But you would also want to look at all the small expressions that cross her face as such pleasure slowly unfurls and starts flooding within her bloodstream to ignite every nerve endings of her body.

It's too much. That final thought breaks the restraining chain that has never been thick enough to hold back your desire in the first place.

You lean in and press the softest of kisses on the side of her nose, just a tentative one to see how deeply asleep she is, and when you see that she doesn't stirr or anything, you plant another one on her cheek, her chin, and then just as your hand makes a way down the delicious curve of her waist to rest lightly on her hip and tease the waistband there of both her shorts and underwear, you place one on the corner of her mouth.

This time she stirrs, rolling a bit more on her back and parting a little her legs too as she does so.

She is still asleep, but damn if you don't take that as some kind of unconscious invitation, and this was probably what you needed to see for your slowly fading guilt to dissolve for the rest of the way.

Slowly, you introduce your hand under the waistband of her panties, savoring the sense of anticipation that rises exponentially inside you just as your fingertips meet the neat patch of soft dark hair above her sex. You run your fingers briefly through it, enjoying the sensation of its wild and lightly rough texture before going lower, managing to suppress a moan but unable to contain the shiver of equal delight that crawl up your spine when you are greeted by slick warmth, thick wetness that has started to gather between her soft, smooth, delicate folds.

If you had any more doubts left about the content of her dream, now they are completely gone.

 _Poor baby_ , you think placing another feather light kiss on her jaw, barely managing to swallow down another moan when you feel her clit already hard and slick, pulsing with its own heartbeat and twitching with need under the pad of your finger.

It's the last thing you can take.

You start circling it, slowly, lightly, watching closely and with delight the way Alex's expression visibly changes as she registers your touch in another dimension.

Her legs part a little more and you grin, pushing your hand further down to cup her sex delicately and give a gentle squeeze that earns you another soft hushed groan before returning up and focusing your attention where she is literally pulsing with need.

You decide to apply just a little more pression, guided by curiosity to see her reactions, but also by the desire that is growing more persistently between your own legs.

You know that making her come while she is still asleep is not exactly plausible, and also not something you are entirely comfortable with, worrying a little over the kind of consent that you know Alex would tell you that she doesn't need to give you because it is one that you already have, always, but still, you prefer to keep your touch light and a little teasing, turning this into some sort of game to see how long it takes for her to wake up with this kind of attentions.

It doesn't take long.

Within a minute she starts shifting in her position, parting and bending her leg as if to give you more space and occasionally lifting her hips up to seek more of your touch, almost as if she is trying to establish a pace of her own.

Her breathing also changes and from deep and steady becomes more frequent and a bit more shallow.

It is clear now that she is waking up and as soon as you realize that, you climb up on top of her, straddling her hips without pulling out your hand from where it is. It's a little uncomfortable, but you couldn't care less, especially when you feel a pair of strong hands settling gently on your thighs.

"Morning baby," You whisper lovingly, bending to press a light kiss on the corner of her mouth.

She hums in response still unable to form a proper answer but now clearly awake, and when you pull back it is just in time to witness the sight of those gorgeous green eyes fluttering open to pierce the still relative darkness in the room and lock with yours.

You can't even control the new smirk that starts spreading across your face.

"Hmm... What are you doing?" She asks grinning so sleepily and oh so adorably at you as she stretches her spine and long limbs a little.

You don't offer her a verbal answer, just lift an obvious eyebrow at her as you resume drawing slow circles over her clit with two of your fingers, applying a little more pressure now that she is awake and you don't feel as guilty anymore at the idea.

The reaction is immediate.

"Fuck Pipes..." She groans, eyes fluttering shut once again as her hold around your thighs tightens a little and her hips lift of their own will.

"Mh mh, that's what I had in mind, yes." You reply bending to nibble at her earlobe before continuing with a series of kisses and teasing bites down the sensitive, elegant column of her throat.

When you pull back she suddenly looks much more awake than how she wasn't just a minute ago, half lidded eyes darkening with unmistakable desire and a sparkle of what you recognize immediately as playfulness shining in there, too.

"I think I prefer this to the alarm," She quips, voice still husky and deep with sleep and... something else.

"You seemed to be having a nice dream and," You explain as if to justify your actions, pausing just long enough to cup her sex and give a suggestive squeeze, watching the way her jaw tightens to suppress a groan in the back of her throat at your touch. "I thought I could help with that."

The way her eyes sparkle with something dangerously mischievous makes you shiver all over.

You can only imagine what she is going to say next.

"And aren't you going to feel dizzy from staying all the way up there?" She can't help but asks, the smartass, remembering your role as the good little bottom of the two as her hands find a way under the front of your shirt.

It's both admirable and infuriating the fact that she is the one who has a hand shoved down her underwear with her clit literally throbbing under your touch and still she can perfectly manage to control some of that desire only so that she can tease you a little.

You love it, actually.

Her control turns you on just like only her show of power and nothing else ever could.

But about her question, you have other ideas in mind right now, and your answer to that is to grab her wrists, pulling out her exploring hands from under your shirt to pin them firmly above her head.

She wasn't expecting this.

But she definitely doesn't look displeased by it.

Her eyes widen and darken even more, sparkling with a kind of fire that nothing can extinguish, but one that only you can touch without getting burned, and this time, with her permission, maybe even dominate.

The look that you see reflected in those emerald pools at your unexpected gesture says "fuck yeah, I love it when you show your claws, Pipes" but also, a little more subtly and a lot more promising "you are going to pay for this later" Oh, and you really, _really_ hope so.

But for now...

"Let me," You beg her softly, leaning in and planting slow sweet kisses along her amazing jawline before nibbling delicately - and then a little harder - at that particularly sensitive spot right under her ear. "Please."

Her consent comes through a long hiss of delight as she arches her back a little and presses her entire body against your front like fitting pieces of a puzzle.

You hear the sharp intake of breath and the small, raspy groan that follows as your fingers go lower to find the source of her slick juices.

Feeling her try to lift her hips and take you inside is almost enough to give in, _almost_.

You don't want to tease her, but you want to wake her body up with all the appropriate attentions, slowly, sweetly, much like the sun will soon start to gradually come up from its slumber to spread its brightness everywhere.

So you play with her slick entrance and circle her swollen clit for long minutes, until she is writhing beneath you, all sweaty and needy.

You can tell that she is containing herself, keeping all that brute, delicious lust filled force restrained and locked inside of her; you have asked permission for it, because you know that in any other case she would pull you down, forcefully, roughly and demand everything you are holding back from your touch right now, or put you on your back and fuck you senseless.

Maybe you will be lucky enough to experience it later, you hope once again with the same sense of anticipation growing in your lower belly. But for now, you'll fully enjoy this and the way your name leaves her lips in some sort of plea with a quiver of need in her voice every time you go lower to draw circles on her tight entrance.

"Pipes..."

You grin before answering more than eagerly to her request, because, after all, she isn't the only one who is craving that kind of _deep_ connection.

So you push past her opening with two fingers, watching the way her eyes roll into the back of her head and biting down a hiss of both pain and delight when one of her hands breaks free from your hold to grip your thigh and dig her nails into your flesh.

She is so silky inside, and wet and tight around as you work your fingers in and out of her at a slow rhythm, filling her completely before pulling back till you are almost out. You could give her more, add another finger, go faster, but you continue with the same slow pace until she is trembling and groaning with every thrust, until sweat has gathered on her collarbone and chest and the air around you is filled with her arousal and wet sound of your fingers filling her over and over.

She holds into you, every part of you that she can reach as you scatter kisses and bites all over her neck and chest tasting the salty-sweet mixed flavor of her skin.

As you thrust slowly inside of her you watch mesmerized the way she shudders as her lips part in breathless shaky gasps.

You know that she is close, and you have the confirmation when you feel her fluttering and clenching so impossibly tight around you, refusing to let you move, so you just curl your fingers over and over against the swollen sensitive spot there on her front wall.

"Come Alex." You encourage her softly. "Let it go. Come for me baby."

That's it.

Your sweet, hushed words and the gentle curling motion of your fingers deep inside her push her over the edge with your name falling from her lips.

When she comes it's long and hard and overwhelming, she remains visibly breathless, yet it feels like you are the one who is drowning under the waves of pure pleasure washing over her face as you drag her orgasm out until it turns into a second, even more powerful one.

Her body shakes all over and her strong muscles twitch occasionally with aftershock after what seems to be entire minutes of absolute bliss.

"God, Pipes... That was... Fuck-"

It's the first thing that she manages to say as soon as she starts to recover and you purr satisfied in her ear at the way she struggles to find words as she slowly comes down from her high, still clenching and unclenching weakly around your fingers.

She is trying to catch her breath which is slowly returning but you can't say the same about her speaking abilities.

"I take it it wasn't so bad." You hum happily, looking lovingly down at her and noticing the usually hidden flecks of gold in her eyes stand out in all the surrounding green, only now realizing that the sun is completely up, making Alex's eyes impossibly bright and vivid.

You guess that her recent orgasms might have something to do with that particular glow, and the fact that you have teased it for the entire dawn might also say something about it, too.

You are suddenly pulled out from those thoughts when Alex takes advantage of your moment of distraction to flip you over and invert your position, so fast that it makes your head spin, recovering only when you find yourself already pinned down beneath her.

Your fingers have slipped out from her in the fast movement, leaving you craving for the warmth that was wrapped so tightly around you just seconds ago, but the loss doesn't stop you from enjoying the change of position and the solid, magnificent body hovering above you.

Your heart already jumping in your throat with excitement, and your body already buzzing all over with barely contained desire.

"You are in so much trouble." She states, voice low and dangerous, gaze intense and fierce as she starts tugging at your shorts and underwear.

Your eyes widen, your face lit up with expectation, and you almost moan at the heavy, rich promises that you hear in her voice as you help her to get rid of the offending garments with a lift of your hips.

"Am I now?" You ask doing your best to not sound as hopeful and desperate as you are feeling inside.

Alex notices immediately the effort behind your words, of course, but she just nods, staring down at you like you are a very yummy prey and she is the starved predator.

She even licks her lips. Smirking a little to show her sharp fangs at you and making your breath hitch in your throat for the way that very hungry and promising look sends a shiver down your spine.

"Yes." She answer at last, deliberately lowering her tone a bit more. "I'm gonna go down on you until you'll have to beg me to stop." She threatens, eyes dark and clouded with thick red desire as she starts making her way down your body in between sweet kisses and stinging bites.

 _Jesus. Christ._

Your lips part in a silent breathless moan.

Now you know how you are going to spend a good part of the day.

And since there is no way in hell you'll ever tell her to stop, you also know how you are gonna die.

In bed, with Alex cherishing and loving every inch of your body with her unique, scorching passion that burns a thousand times more than the unforgiving indonesian sun ever could.

Your hands settles on her head to run your fingers through her soft dark hair, seeking for more connection as she spreads your legs wide, throwing one over her shoulder to leave you completely exposed to her expert, incredibly talented tongue.

You grin and then moan, loudly, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as the warmth of Alex's mouth seals around you.

 _God..._

You couldn't have asked for anything better.

* * *

 **Just a bit of Vauseman smut, morning edition :D**


	3. Chapter 3

Hello there!

Wow! You guys... I can't even find the words to say how incredibly flattered I am by all the beautiful things you have said in your reviews. I'm so very very happy that you are enjoying this little story so far and I wanted to thank you all so much for being so kind and supportive :) I really can't express how much I appreciate it... So I think I'll just show you with this new, slightly longer chapter :D

Now, before I leave you to it, I wanted to answer to a few kind readers who have asked me about my intentions on the Piper/Alex's POV. I know that I usually tend to write alterning between both POV, however this story came to my mind exclusively with Piper's (in second person like you have already seen) because I wanted to describe her most important moments with Alex from the beginning since she was the _first_ for her, you know, and it was all kind of new for Piper...

About this chapter... As I promised this story won't be exclusively smut-ruled like a few of my previous ones about Vauseman, I mean to bring feelings and problems and stuff into this too, so don't worry, however since I consider Piper and Alex a very passionate couple I had to include at least a second part of sex related things, and I decided to do it in this chapter before I continue into the whole emotions/feelings/other-relationship-stuff department, lol. I hope you don't mind :)

A little warning... There is a little of rough play in here, and the usual dominant/submissive dynamic with a bit - but just a little bit - of spanking but nothing very kinky.

Enjoy

* * *

Alex breaks you with sex.

She destroys you.

Shatters you into pieces.

Reduces you into dust.

And you let her, because she is the only one who can put you back together, making you feel stronger and even more complete than you were before when she's done.

Ever since the very first time with her it felt pretty much like she was taking every kind of "pleasure" you had ever experienced before you met her and kicked it out of your sensory memory with a _"fuck that, here, let me try this babe"_ and with that making you discover a whole new universe, where the notions you thought were valid everywhere else have no meaning in front of the immensity of what Alex has showed to you, and especially, to your body.

But besides what you have discovered - and then learned to distinguish - as pure, authentic, mind-blowing pleasure, all of that would be nothing if not accompanied by the scorching passion carried inside the tall, green eyed, raven haired woman who has stolen your heart with one look.

Another thing that you have learned about Alex, and that you had noticed since the very beginning of the first phase of your relationship, is that she never turns down sex.

 _Never._

Whether she is the one who needs that kind of connection and release, or you are.

You know that you'll never hear the words "not tonight babe, I have a headache" coming from Alex's mouth. You are pretty sure she would probably fuck you into oblivion and back even with a concussion...

All it takes is one lingering touch, one particular look, a slightly deeper kiss and she is already halfway to unbutton her jeans, rip your clothes off and shove you against the nearest wall, or door, or table... This without mentioning what happens if you make a clear invitation or decide to tease her by saying something very _very_ dirty, maybe even using a particularly husky and slightly seductive voice.

Just thinking about her reaction is enough to send a shiver down your spine and clench your core with need. Because yes, most of the times Alex is the ferocious predator ready to jump you, but sometimes, you enjoy so much setting up a trap for her to fall right into.

Turn Alex into that wild sex beast is so incredibly easy, so wonderful to witness, and so uniquely phenomenal to experience. But there is also another side of her, one more caring and loving, that isn't any less intense or wonderful than the first one.

Alex is very considerate during sex. Even more when you are doing it against some other surface rather than a soft bed, which happens... a lot.

She makes sure that you are comfortable, when you are in the mood she ties you up with silky scarves or with some other soft cloth rather than using handcuffs or ropes because, even if you wouldn't protest to them, she knows that your skin tends to bruise very easily.

She always makes sure to add a bit of lube when you use insertable toys to make them a bit more slick, although you are always soaking wet and aching with desire at that point for all the attentions that she had already paid to you earlier.

Alex can make love to you so sweetly and slowly that it makes your heart ache with so much sentiment that sometimes it even brings tears to your eyes for how deeply connected you feel with her in those moments. It's not rare in those occasions for the two of you to come together and share a long sweet orgasm followed by some kisses and cuddles, but that never results into something sappy or any of that overly sugary stuff.

Yes, Alex can be incredibly thoughtful, loving and careful during sex, but sometimes...

Sometimes she isn't.

And God...

How you love it when she isn't.

How you love it when Alex rough you up a little - or more than just a little - making you hiss in that delicious combination of pain and pleasure, so intense that it makes you shiver all over and has your knees weak for entire hours after she has fucked you.

Sometimes you need it. You crave for it, for that sting, for the burning stretch of her fingers pumping hard and fast inside you. For her firm grip around your wrists when she decides to hold you down. For the flare of red hot pain that makes you scream out loud when she sinks her teeth in the delicate, vulnerable flesh of your neck or inner thigh.

For the feeling of her strong hips rutting into yours when she is wearing one of your favorite toys and filling you over and over with it. So deliciously good. So fully and deeply. With each thrust slowly taking away every coherent thought from you until all that remains is the purest form of pleasure and Alex and that shade of exquisite pain.

You're the one who craves for these rough encounters, but you never have to ask for them.

Alex can read you so perfectly, that most of the times she knows when you needed it even before you can realize it on your own.

That's probably what makes them so incredibly intense and deeply satisfying. The fact that Alex always knows what you desire, and that she is more than willing to fulfill every single one of those needs.

There are times however where your intentions about wanting Alex to take you, to rough you up a little, are pretty clear when you provoke her and push her around in a very subtle way that only you and her can understand because of that secret language that belongs only to the two of you, so you play naughty with her for hours or even the whole day if that's what it takes. Because break down Alex's control can take time, but it is already half of the pleasure to witness her human appearance crumble to show the fierce creature living beneath the surface.

The reward always comes with a first, harsh, deep and hungry kiss, if you are lucky with her pressing you just as harshly against a door or a wall or even a bathroom stall... Because Alex has figured out a long time ago the thrill that you get at the possibility of getting caught.

Tonight however is not one of those cases. But it is definitely one where you want Alex to take you and make you scream, and you'd prefer to do it privately at her place where she can destroy you for good in every available surface for the entire night.

The evening has started very quietly actually. Just some chat in front of a couple of drinks with a few of Alex's friends to catch up after your temporary return to New York from Bali, but there's been _something_ in the air that has settled into your bones to melt a little at the time and slowly turn your insides to jelly since you arrived at the usual bar near her apartment.

The same bar where you met.

You remember watching her closely earlier, when she was getting dressed, and you don't know if this sudden flare of desire has something to do with the way her tight skinny black jeans were hugging her long thighs and toned ass so perfectly, or if it is the way the leather jacket that she decided to wear showed her slightly broader shoulders so very nicely; even if it's not her usual style she just looked so yummy dressed like that. Then you wonder if it might have anything to do with the way she was talking with the others about the differences between the two editions of the sixth volume of Proust's novel _In Search of Lost Time_ because yeah... She can be so fucking hot when she is discussing late nineteenth-century literature.

But the main reason that you think could have something to do with your current _situation_ , might be the way she kept running her hand up and down the inside of your thigh very discreetly under the table during the whole conversation, so further up your skirt that you thought she was going to finger you right there in front of the whole bar for everyone to see. Something that had you more aroused than what you are willing to admit actually.

You still don't have an answer about what has gotten into you and from where that intense spark of desire came from; you have stopped thinking in the moment you have returned at home and she has assaulted your lips with her own when you were barely a step into her apartment.

And now, all you know is that you are pressed against a wall, with Alex's solid body holding you up, her tongue in your mouth and her incredible, amazing hands everywhere you want them and nowhere you so desperately need them to be all at once.

For how unbearable the wait for her to take pity on you is, it still makes you moan in her mouth with anticipation as your body arches of its own will into her touch, seeking more contact with her, _any_ part or her, but especially with her thigh when she places it between your legs and you don't wait a second to grind your throbbing center against the firm muscles there.

A shameless, greedy gesture that earns you a smirk against your lips.

"I can almost _feel_ how wet you are through my jeans," She informs you sounding so very pleased as she grips your hip to urge you forward and direct your movement.

"Your... fault..." You accuse her in between kisses and gasps for air that turn into strangled sobs when you realize that the grinding motion is just making you more desperate for Alex's touch instead of providing you some kind of relief.

Alex hums in agreement at your words, sounding proud at the result of what her earlier _attentions_ at the bar have done to you. "I'm impressed you've managed to resist for two whole hours," She praises you. "I almost expected you to jump me on the way back here."

"I was... _Ah-_ tempted to... in the elevator..." You confess her through a string of breathless moans that only increases in both volume and frequency when you finally, _finally_ feel her magnificent hands hiking up your skirt to tug down your underwear. Roughly.

God yes.

You hum in delight at that, biting your lips to contain the sound.

"But you didn't," She remarks very pleased. "Because you are such a good girl Pipes."

She doesn't say "and I'm gonna reward you for your patience" but you can _sense_ that promise in the moment she cups your center to give a suggestive light squeeze that catches the breath in your throat and makes you shiver all over.

You know it's probably going to be the last tender gesture that you'll receive from her tonight - well... until you'll be completely spent at least - and in fact you are proven right in your suspicion when you hear the low guttural groan rumbling deep in her chest when she feels how embarrassingly wet you are.

With your throat suddenly dry and your heart already hammering in your chest you dare to look up right into Alex's eyes. The colors of the forest greet you, showing you the wildness and danger in there slowly coming out from its mysterious, uncharted depths.

It is so captivating.

So mesmerizing to witness, that you can barely snap yourself out of it in time to welcome with equal fervor the harsh, passionate kiss that follows and that makes you cling onto her with everything you have, as if afraid that something would tear you away from Alex and this moment.

You run your fingers through her hair, pulling her impossibly close to you so that she can deepen the kiss.

It's hot and messy and utterly amazing.

She claims your mouth with a duel that you could never win, willing to submit to her just like the rest of your body is more than willing to surrender under the irrepressible desire to become her meal.

The thing is, that even if you can feel her claws coming out a little at the time you can also feel her pulling them back in, just like you can feel her fangs grazing your skin but she doesn't make the move you so desperately need to feel them sink into your flesh.

It's all there, everything you need, just barely out of reach, like the proud roar that you can sense trapped in her chest.

You know that she is tasting you and this moment, taking time to savor it before the kill, and even if you are loving it, the moment of breathless anticipation, where she is listening to your body and what it needs to reach full satisfaction, in the moment she teases your folds apart leaving you so vulnerably exposed to her expert touch and almost making you scream when you feel her fingers ghosting so near your pulsing entrance, as you cling onto her you take the occasion to whisper hotly right in her ear what you hope is going to be the final pull that will break that last remaining filament of restrain left around her.

"Please, fuck me Alex."

It's a dirty trick.

You know it.

And you actually feel a bit guilty about it for accelerating such a delicate process knowing that you are _never_ supposed to provoke a hungry wild creature with a stick on its ribs... But her reaction to those few hushed words, takes every trace of guilt away in the moment you feel her dig her nails into your ass and hear a deep dangerous sound of warning rumbling in her throat.

She growls. Actually _growls_. And before the shiver caused by that sound can even complete its journey down your spine, she goes into full attack.

You make it to the couch, with Alex practically picking you up and carrying you because your legs aren't exactly very cooperative right now, but you are glad about the short distance, the bed is too far away, all the way down the hall, far too distant when all you can think about is that if you don't have Alex inside of you in the next thirty seconds you might die.

In the short distance you somehow manage to unbutton the first part of Alex's shirt but she stops you before you can finish, turning you around and getting you out of your dress and underwear with extreme ease, leaving you with just your bra on before pushing you down on the leather couch.

Fuck.

You already know you are going to make a mess of it.

And very soon too, you think when she flips you on your stomach before straddling the back of your thighs.

You want to see her, look at her, but there is _something_ in having her behind you, plotting god knows what, feeling her eyes raking up and down your naked form, exploring your most intimate parts and you can almost feel her indecision of where to start first.

In this position you are left completely powerless. And you love it.

"If I didn't know how desperate you are right now," She says making you swallow down a sob of need when she parts your legs a little and scoots back to take a better look at the glistening, throbbing price half hidden there "I would go in the bedroom to pick up one of our toys and take you from behind right here."

The suggestion has you a shivering, moaning mess.

You almost beg her to.

It's not like you need something more or anything. You just love the way Alex looses control when she is wearing one of those toys, not to mention the extra bonus that you get in those occasions when she has her hands free to caress every inch of your body and focus her attentions on the most sensitive and needy spots with extreme devotion while she thrusts steadily into you.

Truth is that you have never enjoyed any kind of penetration before Alex. Never taken any kind of pleasure from it, but again, she has changed that for you and also introduced you to so many other wonderful things that you have lost count.

But even if her suggestion is very _very_ tempting, the thing that you crave most right now, what you need more than air itself in your already burning lungs, is the glorious feeling of her fingers stretching you, pressing inside you and filling you over and over with that unique precision, until it burns a little.

You want to feel that unleashed primal part of Alex, to let it free in all its devastating, exquisite glory. And you are ready to submit under its force, to feel her commanding your body and your pleasure, push you on the border of your limits and keep you there securely balanced, because, when Alex and sex are involved in that explosive mix, there is never "too much". Everything just gets at a new level everytime and each time it is even more perfect than the previous, doesn't matter how she decides to have you.

But the thought of her taking you from behind like this, deep and hard and fast with her hand, is not an image that can be beaten by something else right now.

"...however I know how impatient you are," Alex continues, squeezing your ass cheek so deliciously hard that you have to bite your bottom lip to contain the moan as you lean into her touch, but you can't do anything to hold it back anymore when you feel her hand going lower right where you need her, letting her fingers run through your folds to coat them in your slick juices. "And since I'm feeling generous, I think I'm going to take you just like this."

Those words and the feeling of her fingers resting right against your opening is the last warning. You barely have time to prepare, spreading your legs a bit more and willing your inner muscles to relax when she finally does it.

She thrusts into you.

The burn of three fingers pushing past your entrance all at once runs up your spine and right into your skull just to return back down and settle with a heavy throb right in your lower belly just when you feel the last inch left of her slip inside you with incredible ease.

You don't know if you want to scream for that harsh burn or moan for the immense relief that swells into you at the almost overwhelming sensation of finally being filled.

The cry that is ripped from your throat is a mix of both.

"So dramatic," She teases you through a barely contained growl at the feeling of your tight walls clenching even more tightly around her while you try to take in some air to recover.

"We both know you can take more."

She is right.

You can't deny that. She has made you take thicker and longer things. And you know that now you were more than enough wet and open to allow such a sudden, harsh thrust. Alex would have never done it if she wasn't completely sure you were ready to take it.

And all of this is proven right when she doesn't give you a second to adjust to the new, very welcomed intrusion before starting to thrust, hard and deep and fast. Just like you wanted. Reaching spots that you had no idea she could reach from this position. But you are not surprised that her long incredibly skilled fingers are capable to.

Just after the first few unforgiving thrusts you find yourself thinking that you won't be able to last for long.

The persistent teasing for the entire evening, the fact that you are left in such a vulnerably open and powerless position under the fury of her passion is just too much.

You start moving with her, parting your legs so much that you let the one on the outside to fall from from the edge of the couch, resting your foot on the floor.

You catch Alex's growl over your own loud moans and the wet slapping sound of her fingers thrusting mercilessly inside you.

It is clear that she appreciates the extra space that allow her more mobility her but then you make the fatal error of lifting your hips back to meet each one of her thrusts and get a grip of her strong thigh from behind to bring her closer.

Even in your lust-drunk state you should have expected that Alex would have not approved of you taking such liberties when she is in this mood.

"I'm sorry. I Didn't know you were the one in charge here," She mocks right before her free hand comes down hard on your ass cheek with a sharp slap that makes you yelp.

 _God..._ Yes!

It stings. And it stings _so_ good.

"Stay still," She growls leaning forward to whisper right in your ear. "Or I'll have to hold you down." She pretends to make it sound like a threat but you know which her real goal is, and the suggestion combined with the tickle of her hot, moist breath against your neck doesn't fail to make you impossibly restless beneath her.

"Please Alex," You beg her because you really, _really_ want her to use her whole force on you, so that the reminder of this night will proudly show on your body for a week, but be branded in your mind forever.

You don't get a verbal answer.

But something much better.

In less than two seconds, without faltering for a moment with her almost brutal thrusts, she has grabbed both of your wrists and pinned them on your lower back holding them firmly there before leaning in to hold you down with her entire, strong, magnificent body.

"I'll have to think of another way to discipline you," She announces releasing a low groan when the word "discipline" makes you clench and flutter around her fingers. "You enjoy this way too much..."

She may be saying that but you know that she is actually very smug about the fact that you absolutely love _every_ kind of attention and treatment she reserves for you.

And with her fucking you like this, adding the force of her strong hips behind the harsh thrusts of her hand you are loosing it much faster than you thought.

And she notices it too.

"Fuck," She growls. "You are close..."

Yes, yes you are. So fucking close the the pression inside you seems ready to burst at any moment.

"I don't... _AH!_ think I can- _P-pleaseAlex-_ Oh god-" You want to tell her that you can't hold it, you want to ask her permission to come, but your speaking abilities are nowhere to be found when raw pleasure is coursing through every nerve endings of your body.

You worry that she will delay your orgasm until you'll be able to beg properly and just the thought is enough to make you whimper with need, but what you feel next pushes away those concerns to fill you with a sense of anticipation when she presses harder against you and manages to sneak in her other hand in the empty space left near your hip to cup your center.

You gasp. Then moan out a "please".

Apparently you were wrong. Because it seems that Alex can't wait for that either. She is too far gone. Too lost in the feeling of your silky inner muscles clenching possessively around her, and you can feel it in the way her thrusts are increasing beyond any limit of force and speed, touching all the sensitive spots even from this position.

You lift a bit more your hip to give her proper space to allow movement.

She starts moving her fingers over your swollen clit in a motion that is unsteady, faltering and says everything about the exertion she is experiencing in her muscles, but the touch is nothing less than perfect to you, and when she decide to add a fourth finger inside you, you can't hold back any longer.

The burn of pain for the extra stretch, the steady pression inside you, the added force of her hips behind her thrusts, the weight of her body pressed fully against you so deliciously and now the fingers drawing broken circles over your throbbing clit, turns to be way too much for you to control.

All those sensations combined together push you over the edge.

And the low, demanding "come Pipes, now" that leaves Alex's lips in a husky, breathless command right against your neck shatters you into pieces.

You come.

Hard.

Harder than what you were ready for.

Your entire body tenses up for a split second and the next one you feel your release gushing out of you in powerful jets of warmth, all over Alex and yourself.

It's so intense, so devastating in its force that you forget to breathe for all its duration, until it tapers off but not before what you think you have counted as the third consecutive orgasm.

You pass out during the tail of the fourth one too actually. You're not sure.

At some point though you feel light headed, dizzy, and the next time you start to register something, is the whisper of your pleasure fading into an extensive aftershock, accompanied with the feeling of a pair of soft lips pressing kisses on your neck and cheek.

"You okay kid?"

"Hmm... Wonderfully," Somehow you manage to mumble still feeling a bit dizzy. "I think you broke me, Al."

She clicks her tongue in mock disappointment but you know that she is actually holding back a laugh at your statement. "Well that's a shame." She answers, giving another - much lighter - slap on your abused ass cheek that makes you groan with want.

"I thought of this just as a warm up. I had so many things planned for you." She purrs, voice low and husky and filled with promises, just like you love it.

You know that you have just gotten a taste of her mood and of what is to come tonight, and the possibilities that open in front of you make you shiver all over with anticipation.

"I can't certainly turn down such generosity after _this_." You hum contently, and with _this_ you mean her fucking your brain out and leaving you in a pool of your own come on her expensive leather couch.

She doesn't seem concerned by this last futile detail though.

Right in that moment she decides to pull out and you hiss, more in protest than actual discomfort, swallowing a sob when she leaves you so painfully empty inside, with your muscles clenching around nothing as if searching for the delightful fullness that was there just seconds ago.

You turn slowly to invert your position and look up at her, barely managing to contain a grin of satisfaction and a low groan for the way your shoulders ache and feel stiff because of the way Alex decided to restrain you.

"Such a good girl," She praises you, pleased by your answer."But before I decide to fuck you, I'm gonna tie you on the headboard and ride your face."

 _Jesus._

Apparently feeling you come all over her have done a certain effect on Alex.

Your face lit up immediately and a shuddering moan escapes from your lips at her words as your inner muscles clench with renewed need. Because if there is something that can turn you on more than Alex showing her power and dominant nature, is feeling Alex take her own pleasure so selfishly from you.

Your mouth waters and you lick your lips in preparation.

"I'm beginning to think that you are starting to spoil me." You tell her teasingly through a little smirk because she knows very well how much you love to go down on her.

She lifts one perfectly sculpted eyebrow, gazing down at you with an incredibly suspicious smug look.

"Am I now? Then maybe once you'll be all tied up for me like a present I'll change my mind and decide to collect all the orgasms for myself tonight."

Your eyes widen with something very close to fear at that threat, but the idea of Alex coming in your mouth a thousand of times with you restrained arouses you just as much as her serious, genuine threat of leaving you unsatisfied scares you.

 _No._

That's a lie.

You look up at Alex and picture the scene with pretty vivid details of her grinding her center all over your mouth and chin to take her pleasure again and again, holding your head in place while you try to press your legs together to find some kind of relief from the throbbing need there.

 _That idea turns you on even more..._

* * *

 **Here it is, I just wanted to explore one possible way about how Piper** _ **lives**_ **sex with Alex, I guess... But enough smut for these two for now, there are many other things about couple life waiting to be explored too :)**


	4. Chapter 4

Hi there!

I know, I'm so very late... I had to finish my other story about Person of Interest first, but now I'm here with a new, long chapter ready for you guys :D In this one I wanted to "examine" an element that I guess is present in every person but in different levels and shades... And it's something that I've asked myself a few times out of curiosity about a younger Alex and Piper at the beginning of their relationship. But I'll leave you to the chapter to find out :)

As always I want to thank you guys for all your incredibly kind and flattering comments, and for all your support :) Really, thank you so much :D

Now here you go with the new chapter :)

Enjoy

* * *

There are many things that you have discovered and learned about yourself during the years.

Some of them took some time for you to fully understand, not to mention accept even if reluctantly at first, like your ignorance about many things you thought you knew. But you blame that on being young and naive and not having done enough experience in life, not having travelled enough and seen enough different places, something that Alex is quickly taking care of for you.

Another thing about yourself that you have reluctantly acknowledged, is your lack of skill for listening to someone else's problem without ending up by making such problem something about yourself.

What's worst is that it seems like you can't always realize when you do this.

And it is Alex in fact the one who, whenever this happens, makes you realize that you can be "a little" self-centered.

You think of the word as too "rude" and a massive stretch, acting almost indignantly whenever she tells you that, probably because deep down you must know that she is right, painfully right, although you would never admit it openly. Especially not to Alex, who is always ready to gloat with that infuriating all-knowing look on her face and that annoying little smirk tugging at her lips.

...how you love that smirk.

How you love those lips...

However, all those observations point towards one common direction that makes you consider the idea that you might have a slightly distorted perception of yourself respect the one that other people have when they see you, and this causes an inevitable lack of self-assurance, even if just in a minimal part which, luckily, remains mostly unseen on the outside, except from Alex.

The result is that you have quite the character. A very particular disposition.

Not always easy to stay around, especially when - as Alex, and sometimes even Polly say - you kind of have a temper. Something that you deny, of course, faithful to what has been taught to you since you were little, correcting that characterization with which they have _so_ discreetely labeled you, with "being passionate" instead, thinking of it as much more fitting to describe yourself.

Your best friend doesn't agree.

Alex kind of does, but not in the context you intended, because go figures.

Many of those traits about yourself are coming out simply by living and sharing such life with Alex, who sometimes - most of the times actually - brings out the best of you, while other times instead, an animated, heated discussion is enough to bring up what you have tried to ignore and bury somewhere deep and dark in you.

So yeah, you don't exactly embody the most noble traits. But who in the world owns only those?

You can be very annoying, to the point of sounding even a bit arrogant with your remarks sometimes, without you even realizing it. You can appear very spoiled - something that you blame on Alex's infinite attention to you - you can be a little selfish sometimes, act very anxiously on occasions, and yes, tend to be still pretty uncertain about many things.

But if there is one thing you never had to deal with, and one for which you can be proud of besides the rest of the complicated mess that your insecure personality can be sometimes, is that you're not a jealous person.

You've never been.

The meaning of the word is clear to you, but you have never, ever before experienced the foreign feeling itself.

...until tonight.

When you easily find out that jealousy falls somewhere behind the feeling-pissed and feeling-annoyed squares in your rich, colorful emotions chart.

Maybe even right in between those two mental states in this case.

Because you are just a second away to make a scene that you _really_ don't want to make right now - or ever - if you somehow can manage to control that uncomfortable, growing sense of bitterness that is gnawing at you from the inside the more you keep looking at the scene playing in front of you with a deep scowl on your face.

You have discovered from some time that you are not exactly Alex's type.

It's nothing new to you anymore. And nothing that has ever bothered you before.

She prefers brunettes - and has a thing for a very specific, very rare category of redheads - possibly with dark eyes, and possibly with a generous bosom too.

So you can easily say that you are litterally the exact opposite of the kind of woman she used to go for before you came along.

But you know that "type" means very little to the compelling complexity that Alex Vause is - not to mention that such word means less than nothing to you either - And you know that's only an ideal image that she really appreciates and sort of admires in that category of women.

However when that ideal-woman-image-thing litterally materialize one night at the counter of a beach bar sitting in front of a drink with no one else there but your lover, it's very easy for you to experience such feeling.

Especially if you witness the sight of said very, _very_ attractive woman and your lover engaged in what you imagine must be a very interesting and amusing conversation given the laughters that even you can hear there on your little spot on the shore above the sound of the crashing waves.

You have to fight the urge to rush for those remaining twenty feet towards them, feeling your knuckles suddenly itching when you notice the light "playful" swat that the woman lands on Alex's tattooed forearm at what you suspect was one of her jokes. They both laugh for a few moments before the woman continues with the conversation, Alex listening interested with a smile on her face as she takes occasional small sips from her drink, while the eyes of the other woman scan far too near Alex's generous cleavage for your liking.

You remain there, rooted to the spot, having no idea if you should just turn around and return to your cabin, fuming but pretending of not having seen anything - just like it has been instilled into you - or go over there and... Do what exactly?

Because you highly doubt that you'd manage to act like an adult if you consider your current state of mind.

It's pretty late, and thanks to the dark no one seems to have noticed your presence out there on the shore.

Another loud round of laughters snaps you back from your contemplation, making you raise your gaze and notice something that really isn't the best thing to witness when dangerous thoughts are already forming and crossing your mind.

Something hot and burning flares in the pit of your stomach, making you clench your jaw and fists when you see Alex rolling up a bit the sleeve of her shirt to reveal her rose tattoo and that anonymous woman leaning in to take a closer interested look and trace the outlines of the draw with her fingertips.

 _What the he-_

That's it.

You are already half a step forward, ready to storm over there and snatch Alex away from that woman with a proper "Back off! She's taken. And I _don't_ share" when you think better of it.

 _No._ You tell yourself, releasing a breath full of tension and annoyance before turning on your heels and start walking back towards where you came from, with the additional thought of why you decided to venture out this late in the first place, mocking you with every angry step you take on the creaking sea boardwalk.

You had just woken up after having spent most of the day in bed snoozing, trying to recover from the little gastrointestinal issues that has drained litterally _everything_ from your body and kept you... indisposed for the previous two days - and that has also offered quite the show to the near village - feeling much better, but discovering that it was late night and that you were also alone, with no trace of Alex anywhere in the overwater bungalow that she has rented for your stay here in Java.

It's a heavenly place the one she has chosen. So cozy and intimate. Very honeymoon-like.

But now... Now not even the distant sound of the gentle waves and the sweet lull of the water around the beautiful cabin seem soothing when all you feel inside is a storm that you have no idea how to contain, yet you are also kind of proud for not giving in to instinct and do something that you would have regretted after probably less than two minutes.

But that crumb of pride is easily eaten away by all the other uncomfortable confusing mixed feelings that only keep growing inside you.

So when you reach your bungalow and get in, you decide to take one of Alex's books before heading towards the small area just outside the living room that faces the ocean, thinking that maybe lay down on the comfortable sun lounger there and read something with nothing but the breathtaking quietness of the ocean at night surrounding you, will help you relax and push down all those complicated, foreign feelings.

It doesn't work.

You spend the next twenty minutes reading and rereading the same paragraph of the introduction of _Leaves of grass_ , unable to go over the first page when all you keep thinking about is that woman leaning in and touching Alex's tattoo, skimming her fingers over it no differently than how you have done so many times.

You can still hear their laughters echoing in your head and see the genuine, interested smile on Alex's face as they talked.

Maybe too interested.

You are ready to give in to that internal conflict that you were having with yourself about going back there to the beach and see what is going on before grabbing Alex by the arm and drag her home. But you don't have the time to consider more seriously that option.

"Pipes?"

Because apparently Alex has decided to come back home on her own.

You hear the noise of the sliding doors being opened on the other room and the sound of her soft steps on the floorboards getting closer. Just like the sense of that mix of anger and annoyance keeps surfacing more and more from your stomach with every passing second.

The steps stop a moment later right behind you.

"Oh, hey babe," She greets you cheerily when she spots you, yet you don't make a move to turn around and face her, pretending to keep reading. "I thought you were still asleep." She says, sounding more than a bit surprised to see you up. "How are you feeling?"

You are tempted, v _ery_ tempted to just ignore her, mostly because you don't know if you'll be able to keep quiet when you'll open your mouth, but you can't simply ignore Alex, and keep silent is just... so rude.

"I'm better." You decide to answer at last but without bothering to put any effort to sound kind or pleasant.

The brief silence that follows tells you immediately how puzzled Alex is by that short, emotionless reply, but she doesn't seem to give it too much thought.

"Uh, good then..." Despite the clear note of perplexity, she still sounds genuinely pleased to not see you in a fetal position groaning because of the cramps anymore, and for a moment something inside you melts a little at hearing the relief that seeps into her deep voice.

But before such feeling can really sink into you, she continues, and what she says next takes away every trace of that warmth.

"I couldn't sleep so I went out for a walk."

Your entire body stiffens, and you feel _something_ , like a ton of bricks landing suddenly right on your chest at hearing that lie.

You shake your head and scoff, refusing to acknowledge whatever that thing that you feel stuck in your throat is when you swallow before closing the book and standing up from the sun lounger to storm into the living room, brushing past Alex on the way without even meeting her gaze.

"Pipes?"

Her presence is making you feel claustrophobic right now, and so you seek for space, as if you could explode at any moment.

"Are you sure you are okay?"

"Yes."

This time the annoyance and and anger are definitely filling your voice and when you dare to turn around and look at Alex's still very confused expression, said anger only keep swelling in your chest above the hurt there.

"Okay, so since you are feeling better, would you tell me what has gotten you so pissed all of a sudden?" She asks after a moment of contemplation, because of course, now that she has realized that there is something definitely off with you she is only going to push harder, and she isn't going to give up until she is satisfied by a proper answer.

However her words barely reach you when you are trying very hard to contain your ire as another image taken from the scene you have witnessed before flashes in your mind at her question. A specific scene, of the two of them speaking very close - too close - as Alex showed her shoulder's tattoo.

"There is no need to lie, Alex." You manage to tell her somehow calmly with a fake smile on your face.

"Lie?" Now the confusion has reached a new level and is turning into something else. Something much more serious and bitter. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Oh, I don't know," You shrug faking nonchalance. "Maybe your new sexy brunette friend of the bar could give you some clue."

There.

You said it.

And at this Alex frowns a little more before realization slowly sinks into her.

"When did you- Where you- " She stammers and then, just when you were kind of enjoying the sight of a usually perfectly eloquent Alex struggling to complete a question, she does probably the only thing that you certainly weren't expecting.

She laughs.

A real authentic laugh, and then asks "Wait, do you mean the bartender?"

 _No, I mean the top model with tanned skin and a very generous cleavage who had her hands all over you._

There was no one else there, so you think that yeah it must have been the bartender.

However you don't reply, it's not relevant, so you just cross your arms over your chest and scowl at her even harder.

"Oh, now I see what this is about." She says nodding with that all-knowing look before smirking at you, looking so incredibly entertained by your furious expression but also completely uneffected by the warning in it. And the fact that she looks amused by all of this only fuels your anger even more.

"Okay," She says after a moment of silence through another breathed laugh that holds understanding and amusement in equal measures mixed with a bit of relief too. "First of all I did go for a walk, then I decided to stop there for a drink on the way back here. And in case you were worried," She continues, quirking one of her sculpted eyebrows. "She is _married_ , and very _very_ straight, too."

You think "oh" when she gives you this information, your shoulders slumping a little as you tilt your head slightly down, feeling suddenly very silly.

Unfortunately what comes out from your mouth next is the reflection of what is still gnawing at you from the inside combined with the fact that she hasn't said something like "not to mention that I'm not interested, babe."

And so you come out with the worst reply ever.

"It's not something that has stopped you before."

You regret those words as soon as they leave your lips.

And even if it comes out barely like a mumble, it's more than enough for Alex to hear it.

Shit.

And you know it by the very serious look that appears on her face and that takes away every trace of amusement that was there not even two seconds ago.

She straightens her back and looks at you right in the eyes. "What's that suppoused to mean?"

You clench your jaw, cross your arms tightly and arch an obvious eyebrow at her.

"You know what I mean." _Oh, for God's sake. Stop it!_

But it's too late.

The look of shock, outrage and barely contained hurt flashes across Alex's face and hits you like a uppercut right in your already upset stomach.

 _Great..._

"You know what," She says and you are already trying not to wince at the painfully icy look that she shoots you. "I won't stay here and let you drag up something that I did in the past with someone who wasn't you, while you also accuse me of... whatever ridiculous thing you have convinced yourself that I was doing tonight in the last hour."

With that she turns and leaves the room to enter into your shared bedroom, closing the doors solidly behind her and leaving you there, stuck. Wondering what the hell have you just done.

It serves you right, you damn idiot.

Yet, somehow, there is a part of you that still wants to follow and yell at her, fight with her or something. And you would do it if you weren't so occupied at figuring out how are you feeling. So for the second time tonight, you do the wiser thing, taking a few minutes to calm down, feeling the anger slowly fading away, but only to be replaced by the more persistent weight of guilt that sits tightly on your chest when you think about the unfair accusation that you have blurted out, and more specifically when you think about the look of hurt that has flashed into Alex's usually bright and mischievous green eyes when you said those words.

You feel your stomach cramps at the thought, and for a moment you fear you are going to be sick again, only to realize that the sensation is nothing but the cause of all the mixed, contrasting feelings that you are experiencing all at once.

It doesn't stop you from wincing though.

So you take a seat on the couch and release a long puff of air until you are completely empty, but somehow feeling still full at the same time.

Jealousy sucks.

It's just so... troublesome.

It makes you feel incredibly uneasy.

And now it even makes you feel bad.

Because you know that bring up Alex's questionable behaviour in her previous relationship has been a low blow, even for how irrationally angry you were.

Alex might have cheated on her previous girlfriend, with you by the way, because she wanted _you_ , but she has never, ever given you any reason to suspect that she was loosing interest in you or that she was doing something behind your back.

Alex loves you.

Like... _Really_ loves you.

Madly.

Enough to bring you all over the world because she would miss you too much otherwise. And so would you.

You don't even think you can feel hurt by what you have seen earlier at that bar on the beach, it's not like she was flirting or anything, you don't think so, there were a few appreciating looks maybe but nothing even close the obviously mischievous gaze that she flashes you like... all the time.

So the conclusion at which you arrive, is that you might have exaggerated a little bit, and all the rest must have been just in your head.

Suddenly, you realize how ridiculously you have acted, and how unfair you have been with Alex.

You look up at the closed doors of your bedroom, chewing nervously on your bottom lip for a minute or so before getting up.

You don't knock, although you think about it for a moment as if you might be invading her privacy or something, but settle for opening the door very quietly instead and leaning against it as your eyes land on Alex, freshly changed into a pair of shorts and a tank top, propped up against the headboard with a book in her lap.

"If you are checking up on me, then you are early," She says, barely sparing you a glance above her glasses when she sees you leaned against the door before returning to her book. "I was going to sneak out with my new lover only when you would have fallen asleep."

You lower your head in guilt at her sarcastic quip.

"I deserved that."

This gets Alex's attention, who looks up at you, this time for a few, long, silent moments, as if searching for something.

"What the hell Pipes?" She asks at last, yet with a softer tone but clearly sounding still very confused. "What was all of that about?"

You find yourself worrying your bottom lip and tilting your head down again, mostly to escape Alex's piercing gaze.

"I... I don't know." It's the best you can offer her, but it's the lame truth. Because you really don't know what has gotten you so irrationally pissed earlier.

Alex examines you silently some more, with so much intensity that it makes you squirm on the spot, before releasing a long breath through her nose.

She must have seen the guilt on your face or something because a moment later she closes her book and scoots over a little to make some more space on the bed.

You take a first tentative step forward, still not sure about approaching her after the way you have accused her, but encouraged when you see her open one arm in invitation and roll her eyes with a "come here, you loony" at your hesitation.

You know that it's way more than what you deserve. But you obey eagerly anyway.

Before climbing into bed and into her embrace however, you notice the packs of pills on the nightstand, the medicines that Alex has bought you when you first started to feel sick, and suddenly you feel even more unworthy of her first step to forgiveness.

For the past two days she has stayed at your side for as long as she could, making you take small, regular sips of sweetened water to help you rehydratate after your little gastrointestinal issue, soothing your groans of pain by drawing slow circles on your lower back while craking some related jokes and making you cramp harder for all the laughters that her humor earned from you, but filling your spirit with the warmth that you feel when you are being taken care of. Especially if it is Alex the one who is taking care of you.

With that thought in mind you get into bed and snuggle in Alex's arms, burying your head in the crook of her neck to inhale the reassuring, comforting scent that you find there; a mix of salt and after-sun lotion, with that something earthy that is uniquely Alex and that combined with the feeling of her hand running up and down your back eases the rest of your troubled spirit.

"I'm sorry." You whisper then through a small knot stuck in your throat, hearing Alex release another long, slow breath through her nose, her soothing caresses faltering for only a second at your admission. "I shouldn't have said those things."

She knows that it takes a lot to you to say "sorry". Especially if you really mean it.

And luckily, Alex can never hold a grudge on you for too long.

"It's okay," She reassures you with a kiss on the temple. "You had a rough couple of days kid. Don't worry about it."

But the fact that she is being so genuinely understandingly only makes you feel worse. Yet you snuggle closer and start playing absently with the hem of her tank top.

"Have you tried to eat something today while I was out?"

It takes you a little by surprise, but at Alex's question you too start to consider that maybe part of your... behaviour might have been determined by the consequent irritability of not having eaten during the day.

"Not much," You admit at last, very quietly. "I'm feeling better, and I've had a lot of water, but I'm afraid to upset my stomach again if I eat something."

"Well you should _definitely_ eat something," She scolds you. "I think you've lost like, three pounds during these days, see?" She asks before poking you in your ribs and making you squeal and squirm in her arms. "You're all bony." She says continuing to poke you playfully in between chuckles until you are begging mercy, breathless.

You know that she's done it for lighten the air around and hear your laugh, and when she finally stops, you realize that you have rolled over and inverted your position, with Alex on top of you while you try to catch your breath, noticing the distinctive light of mischief and affection brightening her eyes again.

Something melts inside you at that look, and makes you reach out to cup her face with both hands.

"You know," She says after a moment of silence, turning her head to kiss your palm. "I didn't know you had all that jealousy in you, Pipes."

"I don't," You say defensively, then sigh in defeat when she gives you a certain look. "I mean... I didn't know that either."

However, you keep thinking that you are not jealous and that tonight's scene was just an exception caused by a lot of factors. Or that maybe _Alex_ is _your exception._.

Her humorous chuckle at your brooding look pulls you back from your thoughts just in time to catch her question.

"So... for how long have you been spying on me earlier?"

"I wasn't _spying_ on you!" You practically sputter almost indignified but Alex only arches an amused and obvious eyebrow at you that says "really? come on."

"Fine," Again, you sigh, rolling your eyes. "I stayed until you practically started to undress yourself to show your rose tattoo."

By the way she bites her lips and starts shaking a bit you can tell that she is doing her best to hold back a hell of a laughter at your exaggeration. Yet she seems to control such urge pretty easily.

"Well," She says after having cleared softly her throat. "I think you should have stayed maybe, because after I showed her the tattoo, we went at it like rabbits right behind the counter. There were a few of those colorful bartending practice bottles and we got... A bit creative with those."

You don't know if your face shows horror or anger or amusement or curiosity or a weird combination of all of those emotions at that information, which is more likely the case. All you know is that Alex can no longer hold back one of her deep throaty laughs at the sight of you looking up at her with your mouth agape and that undefined expression on your face.

You swat her on the arm, hard, which only makes her laugh harder, of course.

"That's not funny, Alex!"

"Alright, alright," She says in between chuckles that are starting to infect also you for how much you try to hold back. "No need to turn violent now," She admonishes you playfully at your second swat. "Your possessiveness is more than enough for tonight."

"I'm _not_ possessive." You object almost angrily. And at that Alex leans in and kisses you on the lips. So softly and sweetly that every other thing to say that you could have come up with, melts away along with the rest of your body as you pull her a bit closer.

"Yes, you are." She whispers when she pulls back. "And it's kinda hot actually."

You scoff shaking your head at her, beyond amused because go figures that Alex's doesn't find something hot whenever you are involved.

You love it actually.

Having this effect on her is simply... invigorating.

"Let's go to bed now kid," She tells you when she sees you yawn, feeling the heaviness of sleep finally calling you too as she takes off her glasses and turns off the lights while you turn on your side.

"It's been a long day. And fighting with you is exhausting, I know." She concludes through an overly dramatic sigh that is all for show.

You want to tell her that this wasn't exactly a fight, but your clarification dies in your throat and turns into a low, content, sleepy hum when you feel Alex folding herself around you and pulling you close to her warm, solid body.

You snuggle back against her and take her hand to bring it up to your lips, kissing her knuckles softly before holding it against your chest.

You could swear that she has just smiled against your shoulder.

"Good night kid." She tells you before kissing the back of your neck. And with the weight of your resolved argument gone, the soothing sound of the water around the bungalow and with Alex holding you safely in her arms, you barely manage to mumble back a " 'night Al."

The last thing you think about before sleep claims you completely - regarding the event of tonight - is that the rest of the world can see Alex and envy such magnificence through the protective glass, but you want to be the only one who pets her and have the privilege to listen to her low, throaty purrs of appreciation and proud, deep roars of dominance, and be the only one with whom she can show that hidden, beautifully contrasting, soft, protective and affectionate side of her.

Because maybe, after all, you _are_ a little possessive of your unique, majestic wild creature.

* * *

 **Yep... I just couldn't resist at the idea of a possible scene with a younger, slightly jealous Piper :D**


	5. Chapter 5

Hi everyone!

I'm so glad you have enjoyed the previous chapter :D It's been interesting read all your reactions and comments about Piper's jealousy :) This chapter is a much lighter one respect the previous, so no minor drama, just lightness, teasing and a quiet Vauseman moment :)

Enjoy

* * *

Your time in Indonesia with Alex lasts for a little more than a month. Her schedule keeps her busy, island hopping, but not too busy to keep her away from you for more than a couple of days on some very rare occasion.

It feels like a vacation and a long learned, very familiar routine all at once. So when her work there is done and you have to pack to come back to the States, you are inevitably a bit saddened and reluctant at the idea of leaving that wonderful place, but not as much as you thought you would.

New York is no longer the place where you feel like you belong to.

Now, whenever you are, is home enough for you, as long as Alex is right there with you.

It's an epiphany that you have on the plane on the way back, where the sense of hollow and flutters that you feel in your stomach and chest when the descent begins it's nothing compared to the one that starts inside you when your eyes land on a stirring Alex, who looks so impossibly beautiful and elegant even barely awake after a eighteen hours flight.

You can no longer imagine how your life would be without her presence by your side. And it's definitely something that you don't want to find out anytime soon. Or ever, you think barely containing a grin and melting a little on the inside when she stirs some more and then leans in to kiss your cheekbone as in good morning.

At your return, the contrast of one of the most chaotic cities in the world after a month spent in the quietness of Southeastern Asia is even more intense than what you remembered, but in some way, you have kind of missed the city.

Just like you have missed seeing those few close friends that you have, but especially, for how foolish it might sound, besides the friends that you have left behind and all the innumerable comforts that such city has to offer, the thing that you have really missed, are the margaritas of that place near Alex's loft.

Doesn't matter how many wonderful tropical cocktails you've had during last month in that corner of paradise, those margaritas have always been the most delicious drinks you've ever had. Althought it might not be about the drink per se, but it could be because it is something linked to a certain raven haired, green eyed beauty and to the memory that you have about what has turned out to be the most promising "date" you had with her - which then also turned out into a complete disaster - but still. You cherish that place and the precious memory you have of it dearly.

So when, during the week of your return, a small mix of both yours and Alex's friends decides to organize a little welcome back reunion right at that bar, you don't go easy with the tequila, which unfortunately it's pretty clear on you the next morning.

In retrospect, knowing your limits, you should have probably considered it better.

Too late.

The warm sunray that hits the side of your face in the cold morning is the first thing that you register and that stirs you from your sleep. It feels nice at first, until it becomes too intese, so much that it forces you to squeeze your eyes shut, and it is right in this moment, when you squirm away trying to escape from the sunlight that your head begins to throb in that characteristical way it always does when you've had too much to drink the night before.

You groan, and seek hide under the covers.

"Well, look who's finally waking up."

For a split second you forget about your pulsating headache and then you wince when it returns with a vengeance at hearing Alex's extremely cheerfulness, that for it to be in her voice would be very suspicious if you wouldn't already know that is all for the inevitable teasing of your current hangover condition.

You consider ignoring her and remain hidden safely under the blankets, but eventually, sooner or later, you'll have to come out, so it is with extreme reluctance and caution that you decided to pull the covers away from your head and dare to take the first painful glance through narrowed eyes at your lover and at the smuggest smirk you have ever seen - and that you already suspected to find there - covering her face.

"Morning there, drunken beauty."

You growl at her which only succeeds in widening that already impossibly wide smirk.

If there is something that you absolutely _hate_ about Alex, is that she can drink as much as she wants without having to deal with any kind of repercussion the day after. It is one of those things that makes you consider all over again how much human she really is.

Whenever you go out somewhere for a drink she spends thirty dollars per glass on some rare rum reserve - sometimes you even tease her a little for it - but you have witnessed her drink several shots of it without her showing the slightest trace of intoxication; you are pretty sure that she would be able to drink more than half a bottle all by herself and still be perfectly able to lead a rigurous conversation without even faltering or slurring in her speech.

Her resistance to alcohol is nothing short of legendary.

And obviously, the exact opposite can be said about you instead.

But Alex is not only looking so annoyingly smug and fresh as a daisy right now, she's also already showered and is actually working, checking her emails; laptop balanced on her long creamy thighs and glasses perched elegantly on the bridge of her nose.

After another general look at her form, you meet her gaze and glare at her.

"I hate you."

This time she can't contain a loud laugh. Probably because of the small whine that has inadvertently seeped into your voice.

"Nope, you don't." She says confidently before leaning in to kiss the corner of your mouth, and with that simple, tender gesture, she manages to wipe away the furious little scowl from your face and a great deal of your hungover hostility too. "Besides, that isn't what you were telling me last night." She alludes then, deliberately lowering her already deep voice into an even deeper tone.

"Oh, God..." You groan, wincing as you already start to suspect the worst scenario of you all over Alex in front of everyone, and tentatively decide to ask "What did I do?"

Alex lifts one her eyebrows suggestively but doesn't offer you an answer.

"Would you prefer the censored or the uncensored version?"

And there it is. The playful smirk that confirms the thought of you having been a very very naughty girl, but the increasing throb in your head tells you that you can't deal with this right now.

"Ugh... Forget it." You dismiss through a wave of clear embarrassment much to Alex's amusement.

"Jesus..." You whine as you slowly try to pull yourself into a sitting up position. "How much did I have to drink?"

You've never been a great drinker, and you've learned since before your days in college your limits about alcohol, making sure to never cross them.

You know that generally one drink is enough to make you relax and have you pleasantly breezy, two drinks has you very humorous and much more confident than what you could never be when sober, three drinks has you an unstoppable, shameless slurring flirt and makes you more than a bit horny, and somewhere between the fourth and the fifth drink is kind of your limit; it's the point that directs you right into the sad lane of a drunken depressed state.

You never arrive at the fourth drink.

And you know that Alex would have stopped you in case things got a little bit out of your control, but not before the third glass, because she simply enjoys too much when you go all flirty on her in that dork-nerdy way and start doing things like using your tongue _very_ suggestively on her ear and neck or start rubbing yourself obscenely against her thigh.

Just the thought of having done some of those things - maybe in front of everyone - has you both embarrassed and more than a little aroused actually despite the throb that keeps persisting in your head.

You finally succeed in your attempt of pulling yourself up enough to lean back against the headboard, and only when you feel the covers slid down from your body you realize that you are actually naked, wearing nothing but your lace underwear.

"On second thought, Alex," You ask, hearing her stop typing on her laptop and already feeling her appreciating gaze caressing every inch of your naked form before you continue. "Did you take advantage?"

You don't have to put much effort in your voice to let her know that you are joking, because after all, _you_ are the one who tends to become very horny and get more than a little handsy with her when you are tipsy, knowing that Alex is always the perfect gentlewoman about certain things in these situations. Not to mention that both of you prefer to be completely lucid and perfectly able to recall every single detail of whenever your bodies collide to play that... glorious intimate symphony.

So when you notice Alex's amused arched eyebrow that seems so say "excuse me?" you sigh, rubbing at your temples with one hand as you decide to rephrase the question in a more probable scenario. "Did _I_ take advantage of you?"

The question, even if expected, earns you one those deep throaty laugh that fills the bedroom with even more humor than before.

"Well," She says still chuckling as she tries recover. "If it makes feel better kid, you tried." She informs you sounding oh so very pleased at the memory. "You even managed to tear open my shirt, mumbling something about me being your _protected species worth of devotion_ and wanting to worship me properly and hear me roar, right before you fell asleep on top of me."

Your eyes widen in a combination of shock and hint of fear, quite comically actually, at hearing those words that definitely sound pretty much like something that is constantly floating in your mind day and night.

"Oh God... I didn't." You mumble almost into panic.

But luckily, Alex seems to think of it as some sort of drunken speech, chuckling softly at your reaction.

And so you allow yourself to breathe out in relief.

 _Good..._ Your precious little secret about how you really see Alex's true form is safe for now.

"It's okay. You're going to feel much better after a shower kid." Alex tells you giving you a soft kiss on the cheek when she sees you wince and rub your temples in the moment a new wave of dull pain hits you.

The idea is incredibly tempting actually, and so you obey, somehow managing to climb out of bed and make it into the shower in between small grunts, but luckily without feeling dizzy.

The warm water washes away some of the stiffness that you feel in your body, and the simple sensation of getting clean gives you the impression of feeling slightly better, but the annoying headache persists. And now even your stomach protests loudly. Strangely enough, the thought of eating something isn't as unwelcome as you would have expected. On the contrary, it might help you recover faster actually.

When you get out of the shower Alex is no longer there in the bedroom, but you can hear her talking on the phone in the living room, so after you put on some warm comfortable clothes you go venture for some food and hopefully for some coffee too, and it's right there in the kitchen that Alex finds you almost twenty frustrating minutes later, and the first thing that she says it's probably the one that you should have expected to hear given the condition in which she finds you.

"What are you doing Pipes?"

Even in your current position, with your forehead resting against the edge of the table in defeat, you can perfectly picture the smile that you know is covering Alex's face simply by hearing the small chuckle and the heavy note of amusement that fills her voice as soon as she spots you on the table surrounded by screwdrivers and other tools.

Your answer comes in form of a groan of deep frustration.

"Well, if you are playing doctor with my toaster I have to tell you, I might actually feel a bit jealous about it." She says putting some effort to sound credibly serious, but unable to contain another chuckle towards the end when she sees you picking your head up, blinking to adjust your vision and take a look at the mess of dismantled and discarded parts of metal, plastic, circuit boards and other small various parts of what once was Alex's toaster covering now the entire surface of the small kitchen table.

"And where did you find _that_ by the way?" She asks sounding very confused when she points to the smoking hot glue gun that is still resting in your hand.

"You own much more stuff than you know Al... or can remember." You mumble tilting your chin to the tool kit resting on the counter and that you have found... somewhere. "Except food." You continue narrowing your eyes at her. "Seriously, there is litterally nothing in here to eat, your cupboards are empty except for a pack of bread but your toaster doesn't work," You whine, almost growling when Alex starts chuckling again at your frustration as you toss the gun aside and decide to give up your attempt to try and fix the damn toaster. "Have you ever considered going grocery shopping?"

Still no answer. Just a perfectly sculpted arched eyebrow that you can practically hear say "seriously?" accompanied by the most irritating smirk.

"God you are so high maintenance," She says eventually after a minute, shaking her head with a barely contained grin that is already spreading all over her face despite her efforts before she lets out a dramatic sigh. "I should have known that."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" You ask sounding very offended, although you don't know if you should given the fact that you are aware of being _maybe_ "a little bit" spoiled, succeeding in and making Alex laugh at your expected defensive reaction.

"It means that I'm taking you out for breakfast princess. So go get your coat."

To say that such invitation catches you a bit by surprise wouldn't be exactly correct, but it wouldn't be completely wrong either.

Maybe it has to do with the choice of words, the way she says it, almost nonchalantly with that softer look and lighter mischief-free voice. You really don't know. Part of you wants to decline and just tell her that you would rather stay here and die curled up in a corner with your headache, but that negative answer that had formed in your mind is discarded just as quickly when the simple idea of going out with your lover for breakfast brings up something else in you. Something warm and tingling.

And so you accept, with a curious but grateful smile that visibly pleases Alex a lot.

You're still not very thrilled at the idea of doing some movement, but the short walk in the cool crisp autumn air actually helps a lot your still fuzzy head and stiff muscles, and even if the weather appears to be changing into a more cloudy and much colder day, you appreciate the nice contrast with the pleasant, comforting warmth that you find when you arrive at a relatively quiet and surprisingly cozy diner just four blocks from Alex's apartment.

"We've never been here before." You tell her with a smile when you take a seat on one of the boots.

"Well, technically I never brought you out for breakfast either." She observes with a soft chuckle as she shrugs off her coat.

And it is now, right at Alex's words that you realize from where that warm tingling sensation that you've felt before came from. It was just about the simplicity of the invitation itself.

You smile, the kind of almost shy smile that spread across your face and bring a faint blush on your cheeks too whenever you feel your heart flutter like it is doing right now when Alex winks playfully at you.

"So," You decide to say after having given your order and bracing yourself for the reply that you dread is going to leave Alex's lips at your question as you think about the previous night. "Exactly how much embarrassed do I have to be next time we'll see our friends?"

The humorous laugh that escapes from her lips was expected of course. The reassurance that follows a bit less, but very much welcomed for sure.

"Don't worry kid," She comforts you. "Everything that happened at the bar was pretty much general rating, no one was left scandalized. Well... no more than usual at least." She adds at the end with a wicked smirk.

"Uh God..." You groan burying your head in your palms feeling your face heat up with the too familiar warmth of embarrassment much to Alex's amusement. "You are never going to tell me what I did, are you?"

Your food arrives just in that moment, and the only answer that you eventually get from Alex is "eat your breakfast, kid" with that annoyingly beautiful smile on her face.

You sigh but decide to let it go, realizing exactly how hungry you are only when the delicious smell coming from your plate makes your mouth water and your stomach growl some more in appreciation.

With Alex's company and provided food distraction you feel better with every passing minute, and your headache is gone before you can even realize it.

The first sip of hazelnut coffee makes you moan too actually as your eyes flutter shut at the comfort that you find in the dark hot drink, but even as you dive enthusiastically into your omelette you can't help but observe, just like every other time, almost fascinated, as Alex eats her own breakfast.

Blueberry and strawberry waffles with raspberry sauce.

You can't help but smile at her choice about the fruit.

If there is something that you have immediately noticed since the very first time, is that Alex tends to play a lot with her food, and when she actually starts eating is very delicate; small bites to stimulate the appetite a bit further, and today is not different as she starts with the fruit on top before taking slightly larger, appreciating bites of all the rest.

You wonder if she does it on purpose, looking so alluring even when she eats or if it is just your impression.

You doubt you'll ever find out, it's part of the mystery that Alex Vause still partially is to you, so when you put the thought aside and resume eating you can't help but feel that same sensation of before wrapping around you again and think back at what she said when you first arrived here.

"You know, I think you are right. We have never done this before." You admit at last through a bite of toast, specifying when Alex tilts her head slightly to the side and furrows her eyebrows in mild confusion. "Going out for breakfast, just the two of us like a-"

"Normal quiet couple?" She finishes through a small smirk suddenly getting what you meant as she takes another bite of her waffles. And it is exactly the word "quiet" that hits you, because you and Alex are very unconventional in almost everything you do. And it's simply perfect just like it is. You wouldn't want it any other way. But you also admit that you kind of enjoy this little moment of... normal quietness.

And so you nod through a smile.

"I hope you don't expect me to take you out for a hand in hand walk in the park too kid." She teases you and you both kind of sneer at the "way too normal-couple-like-thing" thought before chuckling softly while also noticing the dark, threatening clouds that are forming in the sky.

"Well, that's a shame," You say pretending to sound disappointed and look innocent when you take the last sip from your coffee before swiping some of the the raspberry sauce left on Alex's plate with one fingertip and enjoying the sight of your lover following your every move as you bring it to your lips and suck it delicately, slowly, humming in the back of your throat at the taste before you continue. "I kind of liked the _take me_ part you mentioned," You admit shamelessly, noticing the way Alex's eye widen at your obvious allusion before you continue. "And after such an abundant breakfast I was hoping we could... find a way to burn all these calories."

It was meant like an innocuous provocation, but you should know better. Because just watching Alex's throat move as she swallows before you lift your gaze to see her lick her lips at your... implication, is what makes your heart start racing with anticipation and that also makes you press your legs tightly together when you register the echo of a very familiar throb starting in your lower belly.

"I'm sure we can come up with an alternative." She says then, deliberately lowering her tone and you can't even help when you let out a soft, almost breathless "Yeah?" before licking your upper lip very subtly while fixing Alex's as you wipe the last small trace of the sweet raspberry sauce left there.

She nods. "I might have a few ideas in mind already actually."

A short pause filled with the well known thickening fog of desire follows and then...

"Wanna get back home and find out?"

The deep almost dangerous but promising tone in Alex's voice, the familiar dark gleam in her bright emerald eyes...

 _God._

That deep, husky voice.

That piercing look.

You feel already undressed under its intensity. So deliciously vulnerable and ready.

You think, _"I thought you would never ask"_ , but much to Alex's obvious approval that shows with her trademark mischievous smirk, you practically shout "Check please!"

* * *

 **Just a small light moment with a slightly hungover Piper and, of course, a teasing Alex. Because we can all imagine how much of a tease she would be in that situation :)**


	6. Chapter 6

Hi there!

I know, it took me a little more than usual but I've been kind of busy this week, sorry guys, you know that I hate to keep you waiting, believe me, but now I'm back with a longer chapter ready for you, so hopefully you'll forgive me for the long wait :D

About this chapter, I decided to include a little more of those sexy times that I had anticipated that I was going to add here and there in this story, because as we know Vauseman is _very_ passionate ;)

So here you go :) Minimal warning: it contains light (very light) bondage, a strapped Alex and a little bit of orgasm denial. Kind of. So... Yeah, a bit of rough play is included, but a shade of fluff might also be present too :D

Enjoy

* * *

You have realized, very easily, and from a very long time now, that there isn't a single part of Alex's body that doesn't make your blood pump with vigor in your veins and that doesn't have every nerve endings tingle with the unmistakable pull of desire.

Her long legs, her flat toned stomach, her generous soft breasts, her sweet, fleshy lips... Not to mention her _hands._

God... those incredibly talented and beautiful hands. So delicate looking yet so strong and confident in their touch. Just thinking about it is enough to send sparks of electricity down your spine, and if you also add her piercing look, her sly smile and that deep, husky voice in the mix, it is more than enough to make you suddenly very weak at the knees.

It's really nothing that you can help. It's an immediate, biological response that gets triggered whenever you find yourself even simply looking at her and your eyes inevitably start roaming up and down her delightful form.

The first time you have seen her it has been a little more subtle, mostly because you have been distracted by the mischief of that smile and by its reflection into those stunning, impossibly bright green pools, and so you didn't have occasion to take in the whole... package. But once you did, there's been no way to stop that overwhelming, almost primal sensation as it assaulted you. And from that moment, you have been practically unable to not stay more than a couple of feet distant from her, or keep her out from your line of vision.

Alex's beauty is striking, and it attracts you to her, literally, physically, like a magnet.

You are constantly mesmerized by it.

Doesn't matter how many wonderful sights you have witnesses during your travels around the world with her, you know that you'll never see another creature, a tropical island, a sunset on the open endless ocean or an ancient forgotten ruin of the old world as breathtakingly beautiful and fascinating as your lover.

You have seen all of those things, and for how worthy of attention and for how amazed they got you at first, sooner or later, your gaze has always drifted to the raven haired, green eyed beauty at your side with longing. The true masterpiece of nature.

It's like a whole new world that you have discovered and she is the one and only wonder of it. With all those different shades and perspectives and hidden mysteries that only make her immeasurably more captivating to you.

Invaluable.

You find yourself admiring her at every possible occasion you get. With lingering gazes when she changes into some clothes, whether it is the usual shorts and plain t-shirt of her pajamas, or one of her nice, sexy dresses that hugs the delicious curves of her body in a way that almost makes you jealous.

You love watching her when she comes out of the shower, when you have to lick your lips thoroughly in front of all that perfect alabaster skin covered in shiny drops of water. Like perfect clear pearls adorning her body.

But most of all, one of the sight of Alex that you appreciate the most, and the one from where you can never take your eyes off her, is when she is wearing a bikini and laying on a lounger on a beach somewhere; one leg elegantly bent, and head tilted back, with the sun kissing her skin and bringing up a deep shade of red, a dark auburn, in her jet black hair that you would have never imagined was hidden there.

You love watching the way the light of the sun changes on the long locks of her thick, soft, dark mane, how it plays on the secure, defined features and caresses her elegant neck on its way down to the rest of her body.

You can easily lose yourself till sunset in front of such sight. And you did. More than once.

Alex never says anything about the way you look at her during those moments, when you steal occasional, very appreciating glances, but you know that the only act invigorates her, probably as much as it invigorates you when Alex plays the same game with you, but in a much more obvious, much more seductive way, where you pretend to pose as the innocent bait, because you simply can _never_ resist that particular, almost dangerous, intense predatory gaze that such act always earns you.

In those occasions you do it on purpose, but when it is you the one who has her gaze fixed on Alex... Even when she is simply stretching in bed in the morning and she is just barely awake, you sometimes can see her writhing and arching her back maybe a little more than necessary, letting the covers slid down her stomach to reveal that delicious strip of bare, smooth skin near her hipbone before she shifts into a position that even if it's early in the morning you can't help but find kind of "provocative". Or maybe when she is reading and she flips her hair back from her face with that elegant, nonchalant flick of her hand, you kind of suspect that it may be a gesture that is all for you to enjoy.

Because Alex certainly _knows_ that you are looking at her like... all the time, and she only offers you an even better show in that silent understanding that is included into that already infinite list that is your very colorful foreplay dynamic; something that usually burst at night, when everything is quiet and silent and dark except for the flickering flames of the fire that burns with hunger deep within you.

It's a game that always leads to the most gratifying culmination.

She doesn't let anything slip from the outside during those moments, the expression on her face - although Alex is always very aware of your lingering gaze - remains pretty casual, but you just know that from the inside, she is probably grinning smugly, with the sense of pride and satisfaction that belongs to the huge teasing little shit that she truly is.

Sometimes, yours is a pretty innocent lingering look actually, just like the touches that you offer her when you find yourself mesmerized by her traits, tracing the side of her face with your hand as if trying to memorize every line, every curve of her smile and every look of what you have learned to recognize as veiled adoration there in your fingertips.

But sometimes, that innocence doesn't take long to turn into something more... purposeful. Something that keeps escalating in a rhythm so regular and perfect that from veiled subtlety, before you know it, it already has the both of you naked and involved in some of those explosive, delightful activities, where you have the magnificence of the body that you have spent hours admiring, finally on top of you in its more pure, raw, scorching passionate form.

Pretty much like it happens every night.

"Oh God..."

Although, tonight you still have to get your first real taste of its mouth watering glory.

"Oh God Al..."

Because Alex is really enjoying taking her sweet time with you right now.

"Oh fuck... Fuck- yes!"

Not that you would _ever_ complain.

"Fuck!"

Especially not when Alex is wearing one of your favourite toys and has you all tied up, leaving you so open and vulnerable, giving you no choice but stay there and take greedily each one of her unforgiving thrusts and crashing waves of blinding pleasure that come along with them.

"Oh fuck Al-"

The moan that leaves your lips at the next thrust dies against Alex's and turns into a muffled whimper when she leans in and claims your mouth into another deep, hungry kiss that leaves you breathless with your head spinning for so many wonderful reasons.

"I love how sweary you get when I'm fucking you like this." She purrs in your ear when she pulls back from the kiss, leaving your lips puffy and glistening with the sweet taste of her passion, and even if your eyes are closed you can perfectly picture the both deeply satisfied and slightly amused smirk that is certainly playing on her lips right now.

The ability to answer somehow coherently has abandoned you a long time ago - at the first touch of Alex's lips and tongue on your neck precisely - and so right now a small shaky groan is all you can manage in reply as Alex keeps thrusting steadily into you while also continuing to play a dirty, heavenly game with your impossibly responsive nipples.

Because one of your favourite things of when Alex is strapped, beside the added, almost brutal force of her hips rutting into yours as she fills you without mercy over and over, is that she has her hands free to stimulate the most sensitive spots of your body with a touch that tonight is in perfect contrast with the way she is fucking you, and even if would love it if it was a little more rough, if she would pull and squeeze your breasts a little harder, just enough to make you hiss, the sweet, deviously delicate and teasing touch is the contrast that has you a shivering, greedy, restless mess.

Another loud, broken string of obscenities is ripped from your throat when at the next deep thrust Alex decides to add a full rotation of her hips.

If feels simply amazing.

She repeats it again, definitely pleased with the result, and this time it earns her a sudden very loud moan that almost borders into an authentic scream.

"Jesus, maybe I should have gagged you after all." Alex tells you through a groan, but you know that despite the teasing comment, she loves way too much hearing you scream your pleasure, not to mention that she also wants your mouth free so that she can kiss you - the mushy romantic - while she fucks you into oblivion. Something for which you are also very grateful for. Although the image of her gagging you, maybe with her panties, is an interesting scenario that is definitely worthy of more attention.

You yourself would probably be embarrassed actually for releasing such a high-pitched sound if only you weren't so busy fighting against the black silk scarf tied firmly around your wrists, wanting nothing more than free your hands and pull Alex against you, hold tightly onto her shoulders or run your hands down her back.

Your palms itch at the idea to feel the muscles there flex and relax under the thin layer of sweat formed on her smooth skin as you go lower and lower to trace the dip of her spine, the curve of her hips, before gripping her ass and thigh and dig your nails there to urge her forward and even deeper into you as the rest of your body arches and trembles the more she pushes you towards the peak of your pleasure.

The fact that you are all tied up is a bitter sweet torture, because for how unbearable it feels being unable to touch her right now, it only feeds your thirst for when you'll be let free to drink in everything that has been denied to you.

But for now... For now you'll just make the tremendous sacrifice of staying there and take everything Alex has to give you and enjoy the full, raw strength of her hips slamming hard and fast against yours.

You already feel so deliciously full. The thickness of the shaft buried deep inside you makes you feel so impossibly stretched and tight, already knowing that you are going to be sore for several days after tonight, but in the best way possible. And that is why, in a rare moment of lucidity, you really can't help but let out a breathless "Harder... Alex... _Ah!_ Harder!"

She growls and the little warning in that dangerous sound only makes you clench even more tightly around the thick shaft inside you.

"So demanding," She mocks you. "Always forgetting who is in charge here, aren't you?"

She pinches your nipple. Hard. Hard enough to earn her a hiss followed by a sharp scream of pure delight. And yet, despite the effort that you have to put in order to coordinate your lips and form words you don't hesitate a second to shake your head decisively and deny her accusation.

A short "you are in charge" is all you can manage to tell her through another broken moan. Because, God... She is. And luckily she also seems very satisfied by your answer.

"That's right," She purrs and for how much she tries even with your mind foggy with lust you still catch the note of amusement that seeps into her husky voice. "Don't forget it or I'll spank you until you'll remember it for good, although knowing you, you would probably end up enjoy it way too much." Her observation is so embarrassingly right, and in fact, the eventual expectation is already more than enough to make you gasp involuntarily with desire.

Pleased by your show of the greedy, submissive one who is not ashamed to beg for more, Alex decides to satisfy your previous request, starting to thrust with even more vigor into you. Her hips rutting into yours with so much force that it makes you yelp both with surprise and with a bit of pain too.

Because yeah, it burns a little, but nothing hurts as deliciously as Alex's violent, raw passion.

If only the pleasure coursing through your body would make you find the words to tell her that or if you at least would have your hands free to show her your immeasurable appreciation. Instead all that escapes from your throat is a sudden scream, a mix between a very loud moan and a choked sob as your eyes roll into the back of your head when you feel her adjusts her position a little bit, just enough so that she is dragging the head of the toy with extreme dexterity right against that spot on your front wall, applying the most perfect pression and making you gasp when you feel her sliding in just a little deeper before pulling back and repeating the motion to stroke that same spot over and over again.

The precision is not the same one of her impossibly skilled fingers, because _nothing_ could ever replace Alex's magic touch, but the stretch of the fullness inside you offers you another kind of very enjoyable pleasure.

"Oh fuck..."

One that make you believe that you are not going to last for long.

And when you feel her also adjusts her position a little more to find an even better angle you practically sob.

"A-Alex!" You warn her, all needy and breathless. "I'm going to-"

God, you are practically there. Your body is ready to tense up for that final time before letting go of the mind-blowing release that you have been building up for all this time, when suddenly, at your warning, Alex slows down with a sudden, almost desperate more than demanding "Wait. Not yet."

Orgasm denial and control is an extremely interesting practice in your sexual life, one that has made your pleasure impossibly overwhelming at its peak, but right now, you don't think you can obey Alex's request.

"I-I can't..." You tell her, voice almost pained and filled with a regret that is definitely not consistent with how the rest of your body is reacting, but it's sincere.

You even manage to open you eyes and look up at her through the thick fog of lust that is blurring your vision, but the sight that greets you, makes you change your mind immediately.

It's not the additional much weaker, almost slurred and broken "wait" that she repeats almost in a plea instead of the secure command that you are used to receive from her when you are in this mood. But it is the look in her now very very dark eyes, filled with need and desire and that _something_ that goes beyond the simple physical connection.

You recognize that look in a heartbeat. Right before you notice the change in her breathing, recognizing the way the muscles in her arms are flexing, and shaking slightly with exertion, because, after all, she's been fucking her way up to your fourth orgasm just in the last half an hour, but that kind of tremor, the way her hips pick up speed, faltering a little in the steady thrusts suggests something you are extremely familiar with.

She wants you to wait, for just a little longer because she is almost there too.

And as the realization hits you, somehow, you manage to hold back your own orgasm as your priority changes.

Because there is _nothing_ that you love most than feel Alex come with you and share the apex of such pleasure and the synchrony of the entire moment.

If possible, it's something that makes you feel even closer to her.

So you nod at her, releasing a shaky breath and when you realize that you are still tied up to the headboard and unable to reach for her to pull her closer in search for that sweaty-skin on sweaty-skin contact that every inch of your body is desperately craving, you start moving with her by lifting your hips as much as you can, over and over, taking the full length inside you and putting pressure against Alex's center, so that the base of the shaft is rubbing directly against her clit.

The first, low, deep groan rumbles in her chest and escapes her slightly parted lips in a broken sigh, a sound that alone is enough to make your inner muscles flutter wildly, and that only encourages you to keep going, over the exertion, over the burn in your legs, over the ache in your wrists and shoulders, driven by the pleasure that you see showing more and more intensely across Alex's face until her lips part a little more in a silent gasp, her eyes flutter shut, her eyebrows knit and you feel her body starting to tense up and shivering at the same time.

"Pipes..."

This time she is the one who warns you. Voice faltering just like her thrusts, yet, somehow she still manages to apply a perfect pression inside you, directing the thick head of the shaft right against your front wall.

"Alex..."

Her name leaves your lips out like the pitiful, sobbed plea that it is, in the exact moment you feel your thighs starting to cramp.

You don't know how, but you manage to force your eyes open through a thin slit, already feeling the tears of overwhelming pleasure forming there as you meet Alex's gaze.

And it is right in this moment, right there on that expression, in the mix of burning lust and comforting undertone of love and adoration that makes your heart swell with matching sentiment and that you see filling those suddenly dark green pools, there is everything you need.

She doesn't even have to order you to come, because as soon as you catch the sign of unmistakable pure pleasure and emotion covering her face, you can no longer hold back.

She thrusts a few more times and, as if the pressure inside you isn't already enough to guarantee you a mind-blowing orgasm and make you burst, with one last desperate movement she also manages to sneak the hand that has been playing so exquisitely with your breast for all this time, down between your legs in the same moment you manage to lift your hips to meet her last thrust.

A split second that seems to last impossibly long and not enough at the same time hung right above you, only to fall and shatter in the million of pieces that is your climax at the next synchronized heartbeat as you drag down each other over the edge.

A breathless cry, a combination between a moan and a gasp is ripped from your throat as the first jet of warmth gushes out of you to paint Alex's thighs and lower abdomen, so impossibly powerful and abundant that it catches you both a little by surprise, but it only makes your pleasure all the more intense and it only encourages Alex further as she keeps thrusting and drawing circles over your clit while her own body spasm violently on top of you.

You feel your ears ring, your head spin, your inner muscles contracting, fluttering wildly around the shaft resting inside of you. And yet, under that thick fog of passion and blinding pleasure, you can still feel her giving a few broken, unsteady thrusts as she drags her clit along the base of the shaft until her orgasm tappers off along with yours after what seems entire minutes and turns into an intense round of waves of aftershock that leaves you drained from everything and that almost forces Alex to collapse on top of you, all sweaty, and matching your own heavenly bliss.

Without picking her head up from the crook of your neck, she reaches out blindly with one hand to finally untie the scarf from around your wrists. Your shoulders ache in the most pleasant way, and despite the discomfort you don't wait a second longer to wrap your arms around Alex and hold her close against you as soon as you are free, moaning softly at the feeling of the warmth and softness of her body against yours as she rolls you over into a more comfortable position on your side.

You are both still breathing heavily, panting, yet despite the obvious lack of air neither of the two can help but capture the other's mouth into a kiss that is mostly lips and sweetness as Alex places one hand on the small of your back and you can't resist the temptation to roll your hips forward, slowly, and feel the thick shaft slid smoothly fully inside you a couple of more times as if to prolong the fading waves of aftershock that has you shaking slightly.

"Wow..." Is the first thing that slip from your lips when you break the kiss as you slowly start returning down from your peak.

"Yeah..." Is all Alex can say in agreement through a breathless, very husky whisper, feeling the soft smile formed there on her lips when she presses the most tender kiss on the corner of your mouth.

You remain like that for a few more minutes, taking the time to recover in the comfortable embrace where your heartbeat is resting right against Alex's until she pulls back a little and reaches down between your legs to start to pull out from you very carefully.

You groan and hiss a little, feeling so very sensitive after Alex's intense passion.

She murmurs an apologetic "sorry" soothing those soft sounds of protest and light discomfort that leave your lips by being as gentle as possible and distracting you with another sweet kiss until she has pulled out completely and has also removed the other shorter end of the toy from herself too, groaning softly in your mouth.

You hear her tossing it somewhere on the bed before she takes you back in her arms and placed a hand protectively against your tender, pleasantly sore parts, a gesture that doesn't fail in making you grin broadly as you snuggle just a bit further against her.

Because not even during the lust filled moments or rough _connection_ , like the intense one you just had, you will ever forget - despite her exquisite show of dominance - that Alex is very considerate and remains always a big softie under her majestic raw nature and appearance.

 _Not to mention a sucker for cuddles_ , you add through a smirk when you start running your fingers up and down her back and hear her purr her appreciation for the loving gesture.

But cuddles are usually reserved for the after sex marathon quiet party, and right now, you are nowhere even near the beginning of what you had planned for your lover.

The distant echo of a familiar throb starts once again and it turns more intense when you register as for the first time the thin layer of still warm wetness that is covering Alex's stomach and thighs. _Your_ wetness.

You start kissing Alex's cheek and neck, keeping the pressure of your lips on her skin very soft and delicate and slowly escalating into something more secure and less innocent that has Alex grin in understanding as you roll on top of her, straddling her without interrupting your string of slow wet kisses along the proud line of her jaw, not even surprised when barely after a few minutes you start to feel the tingle of desire settling more persistently between your legs once again, but this time in anticipation for Alex.

"My turn now." You whisper, low and promising, yet mostly to yourself when you reach her ear and nip at the well known sensitive spot under it before making your way further down.

"It seems like you have something in mind kid." She teases you through what you can imagine is her little sexy smirk.

You hum in agreement, cupping her breasts in your hands and squeezing lightly, enjoying the feeling of the hard nipples pressed against your palm and the way Alex groans and arches her body right into your touch when you also lean down and suck softly at her pulse point.

"You had me restrained for almost an hour Al." You remind her when you pull back, arching an eyebrow as you meet her darkening gaze. "Don't tell me you weren't expecting me to devour you as soon as I was free. Barely conscious or not." You add thinking about the deep exhaustion of just a few minutes ago that is still lingering in your bones.

For all you know it might have been her plan from the beginning actually - you doubt it - however you don't mention that, only bite your lip in satisfaction when she smirks briefly in total approval at you.

"I think that's only fair." She tells you through a sigh, unable not to pretend and play the reluctant part for a moment only to amuse you.

You bite the inside of your cheek to keep from grinning deviously, letting your gaze wander up and down her glorious body from your now slightly advantaged height, admiring that magnificent sight from column of her throat, to her two perfect creamy mounds, following the lightly visible line at the center of her flat abdomen - where lays a thin layer of sweat and your own release - to her navel until you lean back and gaze at the neat patch of short dark hair before looking hungrily at the prize that you find a bit lower, between her alabaster toned thighs, meeting Alex's smooth glistening parted folds and the hard little sensitive bud of nerves nestled there, peaking out from beneath its thin protective hood.

She is still of a deep pink from your previous intense activity and you can see that her opening is still a little stretched from the end of the toy that was resting inside of her.

She is so open under your gaze.

So exposed in every delicious detail.

Your core clench with need and you buck your hips forward involuntarily, unconsciously, seeking for some kind of friction.

You lick your lips, swallowing hard a few times when you feel your mouth waters, yet again, as you take in all that is displayed so beautifully in front of you, you also find yourself in front of that same old question. _There's so much to choose from, so... "From where do I even start?"_

"You seem... undecided, kid." Alex observes knowingly, sounding so smugly amused but also undeniably pleased by your appreciating looks as she shift a little in her position, parting and bending one of her legs a little more, knowing that she is definitely doing it to offer you an even better view of her most intimate part.

 _God..._

"I am," You admit at last, barely above a whisper. You have to swallow hard once again and when feel like you have regained some of your control you look up at her, feeling as the most seductive smirk that you had no idea you were even capable to show appears on your lips along with a contrasting, faint blush covering your cheeks as you lock your eyes with your lover's slowly darkening green gems and tell her "But for now, I think I'll will start by licking my own come off you."

She has taken her time with you and you are going to repay the favor fully, devotedly, and by the way her eyes widen and darken even more with a fresh wave of arousal, and by the new approving smirk that starts tugging at the corner of her mouth at your decision as you lick your lips suggestively and run your fingertips along the wet lines that are still painting her perfect, toned stomach, you know that she is definitely not going to protest.

* * *

 **Sweet, young, innocent naughty Piper... Alex can't certainly resist :)**


	7. Chapter 7

Hi everyone!

Wow guys... I have to say that I'm so so very happy that you are enjoying this little story so much :D Really, all your kind words and generous, flattering comments always make me smile, so once again I want to thank you all so much for your kindness and support :)

Now in this particular chapter I wanted to examine a bit closer something that I have always kind of wondered about Piper and how she would deal with a certain situation that now I'll leave to you guys to find out :P

Enjoy

* * *

There are a few things, many things actually, like specific traits and qualities that you have noticed, witnessed to be so genuine and effortless in other people, but that have never come easy or even natural to you in similar situations.

The thing is, that you have never considered yourself as a particularly thoughtful, caring and protective person. You certainly get worried about your friends and loved ones - in your own way and when you are not too absorbed in yourself - but you have never felt that "pull" about the whole taking-care-of-someone thing when needed.

You remember that when you were very little your father used to hum softly your favourite song to you whenever you were sick. Your mother was a little less affectionate, but she always made sure by herself in those few occasions that you received all the right cares and supervision. You even have a memory about that time when you and your brother were playing on the driveway and you fell, and Cal, acting like the good loving brother that he was - is - picked you up to bring you inside, trying and succeeding in making you laugh to distract you from the sting of the iodine as he disinfected your scaped knee and palm before patching you up with a couple of band aids.

You think that you kind of get the general concept about protectinevess and concern, but you have never actually felt it so sincerely or showed it half as openly.

Is one of those many things that you don't quite know how to handle exactly, because it doesn't come as instinctively as you imagine it must be for everyone else.

Or at least that's how you have always felt and what you have convinced yourself of during all these years.

But not anymore.

Because, it appears that your lover is the one who, once again, holds the key that has magically unlocked that part of you, revealing a content that you had no idea you actually possessed.

But you are not so surprised after all. Because it's not the first time that Alex and the deep affection that you have for her, have proved your long time questionable convictions wrong yet again.

And so, you find out that you are actually very _very_ good and surprisingly natural at taking care of someone, or at least of your lover, during one particular evening, when you are supposed to meet with your best friend for the first time after your return to the city from another long trip, and when Alex also happens to show the classic symptoms of a very bad cold.

"It's okay Pipes, I told you, I'm fine."

Alex is not grumpy when she is sick, but you are not even half surprised to discover that in such situation she can be incredibly stubborn.

"Are you sure?" It's something like the fourth time that you find yourself asking her that in just the last half an hour, and this time you can't ignore the way that her "fine" came out like because of her chest congestion.

Although, you have to admit, that for how inappropriate it is, the extra raspy quality in Alex's already husky and deep voice has a certain effect on you.

"Yeah, don't worry kid," Her reassurance is sincere, a bit close to playful exasperation now, but sincere. "You go out and have fun with _Molly_ ," She continues, forcing you to bite the inside of your cheek in order to hide the smirk that tugs at your lips when she still pretends to forget your best friend's name after all this time. "I'll just stay here for a while with a book, and maybe I'll eat something later."

With that she plops down on the couch with a barely contained groan, making an effort to hide her obvious dizziness caused by the way-too-fast movement by briefly burying her head in her hands. But for how brief, that gesture doesn't certainly fool you.

"Here," You help her gently to lay down, covering her up with the pile of soft blankets at her feet when you hear her sniffle softly and notice her shiver a little. "Let's keep you warm."

The fact that she doesn't protest at the gesture or crack some joke at the opportunity that your choice of words leaves open, is the last indication that brings to the confermation of exactly how unwell she is feeling right now, not to mention the new, short but intense round of coughing that assaults her once again and that leaves her almost breathless.

"You don't look so well baby." You point out while she recovers, trying to take in some air as you kneel in front of her, pulling the covers over her shoulders before tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, unable to not let your touch linger ther for a little longer to stroke lovingly the soft skin of her cheek.

"It's nothing Pipes," Despite her obvious conditions her persistance has still the better and she doesn't stop from reassuring you. "Really. I guess that I just got cold yesterday."

You have to bite your tongue to keep from saying that infamous "I told you so" as you think back about the previous morning, when Alex went to grab some coffee for you both, wearing only her jeans and a sweatshirt against the freezing weather and the almost two feet of snow piled up outside.

You should have definitely insisted harder for her to stay in bed with you, or at least forced her to wear a scarf or something, but her "I'll be quick" and the sweet kiss that she had placed so tenderly on your lips have managed to silence your protests and concern.

Those amazing, incredibly soft lips are too damn distracting.

You look at her now and notice the dark circles under her eyes, the paleness in her already fair skin, and again you can't ignore the way her voice seems to become more and more hoarse with every word that she says.

You sigh, slowly and silently, unable to not feel a little guilty in front of such sight, although you know that it's not your fault if your lover is a bit under the weather right now.

"Besides," Alex continues, pulling you out from your thoughts. "Didn't you have the tickets to see a show or something tonight after dinner?"

You close your eyes and curse silently at that detail, one that you had almost forgot because too busy worrying about your lover.

"Yes," You admit then through another long frustrated sigh. "It's for some sort of comedy show in a bar."

Alex's short fit of coughs is followed by an authentic look of mild interest. "Sounds fun," She says approvingly before clearing softly her dry throat. "A lot more fun than stay here and watch _this_ show for sure." She jokes lightly, gesturing up and down to herself and to her conditions before snuggling further under the blankets in between muffled groans and contained sniffles.

To say that you don't look even a bit convinced at the idea of leaving her side when she is in such shape, so visibly weak and tired like you have never seen her before, doesn't even come close to the immense reluctance that you are feeling, and Alex, of course, even in her state notices it immediately by the way you start chewing pensively on your bottom lip.

"I'll be fine Pipes," She repeats once again rolling her eyes. "I promise."

You know that she is not trying to fight over you and that "instinct" that you have just discovered to possess, but it makes you very conflicted, because you know that she is independent and perfectly capable of taking care of herself, still you can't simply shut down that feeling that keeps gnawing at you and telling you to stay despite her constant, sincere reassurances.

At last however, you decide to not insist further, mostly because you don't want to annoy Alex with your persistence, letting out another quiet sigh that is a combination of both defeat and concern as you look at the tired little smile that tugs weakly at the corner of her mouth.

You lean in and kiss her softly on the cheek.

"I won't stay out long." You promise her when you pull back and gently stroke her hair, and the "don't worry babe," that she offers in reply is anything but reassuring when what follows immediately after is another round of deep chesty coughs and a sneeze that she tries unsuccessfully to hold in.

You bring her a glass of water and some tissues before grabbing your coat and put on your shoes, taking much more time than necessary.

"You better go kid, or you'll be late." She tells you with a hint of amusement and the faintest smirk you have ever seen on her face when she notices your obvious, deliberate delaying.

And so, with one final, lingering kiss and a lot of hesitation anchored in your bones, you go.

You make it out of Alex's apartment, down the building and out into the busy streets of a very cold evening, where the wind is unforgiving and brings along the promise of a new snowfall.

You even manage to walk for three blocks telling yourself that it is to search for a good spot to hail a cab, until you decide to slow down and eventually stop just before rounding the next corner, realizing that you are standing right in front of a pharmacy, and the idea that your legs have unconsciously lead you here isn't so absurd after all when you also finally admit that you have left your head and thoughts back into Alex's apartment, knowing that you'll never be able to enjoy what it's supposed to be a fun evening out with your best friend if said thoughts keep bothering you along with the concern that only keeps swelling in your chest with every passing second that you spend away from your indisposed lover.

You take another look at the pharmacy, wrapping your coat more tightly around yourself when another freezing blow of wind makes you shiver all over, and after not even a minute of contemplation, you decide to pull out your phone to call your friend and tell her just that as you enter the store.

"What do you mean you're not coming?!"

You wince, forced to distance the phone from your now ringing ear when your friend's disappointed, exasperated high-pitched voice fills the line with a shout.

"I'm sorry Polly," You apologize, sounding sincere enough considering that your mind is still floating elsewhere with more urgent and concerning thoughts as you look around the store for the right aisle. "It's just," For a brief moment you hesitate, not sure if your friend would be so considerate if you decided to tell her the reason why you can't come, knowing well enough about the notorious dislike and very poor tollerance that she has for your lover, but you decide to tell her anyway, because honestly, right now you really don't care what she thinks. "Alex isn't feeling very well and... I'm not so sure about leaving her alone tonight considering it all."

The reply that follows your admission however, is not at all the annoyed and unsympathetic one that you were expecting.

"Wait, is she okay?" Much to your incredulity, Polly actually sounds honestly a little bit worried at that information.

It takes you so much by surprise in fact that you have to blink a few times and take a long moment to recover from your friend's almost startling softer, concerned tone.

"Y-yeah, I mean, she has a pretty bad cold and..." You sigh, running a hand through your hair in mild frustration just as you stop in front of the vast cold medicines shelf. "I know that you had tickets and everything for tonight, and I was looking forward to see you, but... I just don't want to leave Alex at home, alone, knowing that she is sick."

A long minute of silence follows during which you find yourself scanning the medications in front of you while trying to ignore the uncomfortable sense of nervousness that rests on your shoulders as you think about what your friend is going to answer, only to relax and welcome the wave of relief that follows when you finally hear an exasperated, drawled "alright," that sounds much more like Polly, followed by her actually not-so-sarcastic "I wouldn't want to have it on my conscience or whatever. But you own me."

You can practically picture the finger that she is pointing at you from the other side of the line at that warning and you can't help but smile a little, feeling both very relieved and grateful by your friend's understanding.

"Anyway," She continues before you can say anything. "It's still early, and I actually think that I might find someone interested to come along with me and see the show so that your ticket won't go wasted."

You smile at that information. "I'm glad that I haven't completely ruined your evening and that you have a plan b ready," You tell her, receiving back a dismissive scoff and a sincere "don't worry about it."

"Thanks Polly, I promise that I'll make it up to you." You assure her wanting her to know how much you appreciate her being so understanding.

"Yeah, I know. And -uh I..." For a brief moment she hesitates before concluding with a very unexpected "I hope supercunt will recover soon."

This last part catches you so by surprise in fact that you almost lose your balance, tempted to pull back the phone from your ear and stare at it with a "what the hell?" raised eyebrow and make sure that you are actually talking to your best friend, the same one that you know can't stand your girlfriend. But before you can recover and ask her if she is feeling well, she adds an exagerated "Ugh. Just... don't tell her I said that."

You are still chuckling softly even after you have ended the call, only to feel the lightness of amusement slip away and the weight of concern taking its place once again, sitting more tightly on your chest when you look at the medicines shelf in front of you, deciding to give up your attempt to find the necessary on your own and wisely choosing to ask for some more professional help to the pharmacist.

You still manage to clean out the store however, with probably much more decongestants and cough syrup that Alex will need, but still... You want to be sure that she'll have everything she needs. And that's exactly what you think when you also decide to make a relatively quick stop on your way back to pick up something to eat from that thai place that Alex likes.

It's almost forty minutes later when you make it back to the apartment, welcomed by the comforting warmth that you find inside, where everything is even more quiet than when you left.

You leave the take out and medicines' bags on the kitchen table before venturing quietly in the living room where, as a part of you already expected, you find Alex asleep on the couch, with an open book lying on her chest and her glasses resting in the loose grasp of her hand.

A strong flutter echoes in your chest and spreads all over your body with a familiar warmth that has nothing to do with the pleasant heat in the apartment when your gaze lands on such simple, delicate sight.

You kneel in front of the couch, taking the glasses and book from her and placing them aside.

She stirs a little in her sleep and leans against your touch with a deep, soft hum that widens the smile playing on your lips and makes your heart clench with sentiment when you run your fingers lightly through her hair, but she doesn't wake up. However when after a few seconds she turns a bit more on her side and starts breathing deeply once again, you can't not notice the way she furrows her brows in mild discomfort or ignore the light hissing noise that you hear whenever she exhales; like a muffled whistle that seems to come right from her chest.

You wince a little at that sound.

Poor baby.

For how much you _really_ don't want to wake her up, you know that the sooner she'll take her medicines the sooner she'll start to get better and recover.

And so, with a bit of reluctance at the idea of interrupting her sleep, you decide to wake her up, gently, starting with a few soft kisses on the corner of her mouth before calling her name very softly when she stirs some more.

"Alex, wake up sweetie."

After a short minute her eyes flutter open, and then she has to blink a few times to focus, looking a bit disoriented until her gaze finally meets yours.

"Hey baby," You greet her trying to contain the loving smile on your lips from becoming a full grin in front of such an impossibly cute scene.

"Pipes," Your name comes out like a low, slightly confused murmur before she looks around and takes in the surrounding of the living room. "What time is it? Have you just arrived?"

"It's okay Al," You reassure her softly, helping her into a more comfortable position when she tries to sit up, noticing the look of puzzlement that appears on her face when she glances briefly at the time on the stereo.

"I didn't go out with Polly." You confess at last shrugging one shoulder. "I decided not to."

"What? Why?" Her gaze shifts back to you just as she tries unsuccessfully to suppress the round of wet coughs that follows her questions, so intense that leaves her once again breathless and forces her to lean back against the couch in order to catch some much needed air.

She practically avoids your gaze when you arch an obvious, sympathetic eyebrow at her in answer, and eventually she is the one who tentatively seek your eyes after a minute.

"Pipes, you know you didn't have to." She rasps out while absently rubbing at her chest as if trying to get rid of the obvious discomfort that she is feeling there after such a bad fit of coughing.

But you didn't do it because _you had to_. And you know, by the look that Alex is giving you right now, that beside her reassurance, she knows that too. Because it's the same feeling that has brought her to stay at your side whenever she could when you were in a similar situation a few months ago in Java, when she remained by your side, holding you, providing comfort and affection and jokes to distract you from your stomach cramps.

In the short moment of comfortable light silence full of understanding that follows you can't help but smile softly at her.

"Come," You encourage her then before swallowing hard and slipping your hand into hers, giving a little gentle tug. "Let's go to take care of you now."

The words are so foreign to you, yet the way they leave your lips feels so easy and genuine and right. So much that not even Alex can resist in front of the sincerity and warmth in them.

The signs of that particular light embarrassment on Alex in front of a real, open show of affection and sentiment are extremely rare and incredibly difficult to catch.

But you know that when she tilts her head down and lifts her hand as if to adjust her glasses only to realize that she isn't wearing them and so diverting the movement to rub absently at her temple instead, that's one of those famous moments where she is trying to distract herself and find a more comfortable side of the tender awkwardness where you have dragged her into with those few heartfelt words that you have whispered.

See Alex like this is such an enjoyable and endearing sight to witness that you can't even help the broad grin that spreads across your face.

Her stubborness however is still hard to break, but at the next gentle tug of your hand she decides to obey, and for the moment you are happy that you have managed to get her up from the couch, noticing how the mention that follows about you having brought dinner actually works both as a small bait and a bribe for your favourite, cherished and affectionate - even if slightly subdued right now - predator.

You make her eat, pleased to see that she has appetite.

When you notice her shiver you deliberately ignore her mix of both reassurances and protests and somehow manage to persuade her to place the thermometer under her armpit, releasing a silent sigh of relief when you read the temperature after a few minutes, which is just a little higher than normal but, as Alex's tried to tell you for all this time, it doesn't reach the fever point.

When you hear her cough and notice her rub her chest again you make sure that she takes one of the most effective decongestant pills that you have bought, because for how much an Alex with a cold, wrapped up in a thick layer of blankets while sipping the thyme tea that you have prepared her and watch with amusement as she grimaces at its bitter taste is as adorable as a harmless pouting puppy, you want your strong, beloved roaring wild creature back in full force as soon as possible.

It's pretty clear now, even to her, that she has no choice in this, and that all her complaints are useless, so she just lets you do what you want, and you know that she is probably not even half as reluctant to follow your instructions as she was earlier.

Say that she may actually be enjoying you taking care of her would be exaggerating, because after all she is really feeling unwell and would obviously, definitely not be, but you can tell that she is glad that you are here with her in this moment of need.

When you see her struggling to stay awake you make sure that she is wearing warm clothes and then get her into bed.

It's the most maternal and protective that you have ever been with anyone in your life, and after all, you're no longer so surprised that its been the love of your life the one who has triggered such instinct in you.

"So..." Alex begins after she swallows a small sip of syrup while you change into your own pajamas. "Tell me the truth kid," She continues as she finds a good position to lay down, and you can't not catch the hint of amusement that seeps into her voice or not notice the familiar slightly arched eyebrow that you know well when you glance at her and she asks "You actually couldn't simply go out to see a show and pass up the chance to play doctor here with me instead, could you?"

If only she wasn't looking so impossibly smug right now, you would probably tell her that you'll always prefer her above everything and everyone else, because nothing and no one else could ever compare with her, even when she is a little indisposed.

Instead you narrow your eyes, a barely contained smile on your lips that betrays your mocking dangerous glare as you look at the wide, satisfied, mischievous smile that spread across her face.

Seriously? You can't believe it. How can she look so smug and confident even when she is as sick as a dog, or manage such a naughty smirk when she is so tired that she can barely keep her eyes open?

Ugh.

It irritates you beyond belief.

And it also makes you very, very hot at the same time.

But then, before you can offer her an answer that she probably already knows, you notice as her expression softens, and she looks at you with one of those delicate smiles that you have learned to interpret as Alex's loving gaze, the one that makes your heart leap wildly with sentiment in your chest.

You watch as she scoots over on the bed to make some more space before pulling down the covers from your side and ask you "May I interest you in continuing such romantic _intimate_ date here under the covers with me?"

You can't even help but laugh out loud at hearing her question and listening to the effort that she had to put behind it to make it sound somehow an elegant invitation and not something dirty because of her rough, raspy incredibly sexy voice.

She chuckles as well at your reaction when your answer is to climb into bed and snuggle under the covers with her, unable to contain the smile that spread across your face and that only widens further when Alex offers you a soft, lingering kiss on the corner of your mouth that says "thank you kid, for staying, for everything."

You reciprocate the tender gesture with a proper kiss on those sweet smiling lips and with a whispered "you're welcome" before wrapping an arm around her middle to pull her a little closer to you, because, even if the plans for the night didn't originally include staying at home, with Alex and her cold and thai chicken noodles and remedies to cure a chest congestion, the only thing you can think of right now while you watch with a loving smile as Alex's eyes flutter shut, and hear her breathing even out more smoothly as a cough-free, more peaceful sleep slowly claims her, is that there's still no place in the world you'd rather be.

* * *

 **Considering how Piper has practically abandoned Alex when she needed her the most, I hope that she didn't come out too OOC in this chapter. But I like to think that even back then when she was young - before the whole break up deal - she had a hidden, very caring side, one that would have maybe come out in a similar way, because after all, selfishness and self-centered nature aside, we know that she really loved Alex :)**


	8. Chapter 8

Hi everyone!

You guys, I'm so happy to know that you have enjoyed the previous chapter :D It was a scene that I have imagined and wanted to write for some time. However I have to say (about the note that I left a the end) that when I reread the entire chapter Piper didn't appear slightly OOC as I thought. I don't know what gave me that impression, but I guess that it was because I had replayed the scene of their break up at the time, although the situtation was completely different of course. But I too, as I have in fact added in the note, believe that Piper would have done anything for Alex and that she really loved her and care for her like no one else. Anyway, sorry if I've created a small misunderstanding about my general view on a younger-Piper or of her deep affection for Alex with that note at the end, I guess I should have expressed myself better, lol. But we are all on the same page about these two back then, don't worry ;)

About this chapter... Well, I don't know if I should warn you anymore for the smut, lol, but in this one we don't have exactly pure, passionate sex, it's more smut as in a gentle-sugary-sentimental-lovemaking scene.

So... Yeah. Instead of warning you for the smut I guess that I should probably warn you to remind you to brush your teeth after this one. You know, to avoid cavities and stuff :P

Enjoy

* * *

There is a part of you, a very small, but very essential part, that you know has always been there, hidden somewhere deep and dark and isolated, like the sprout of a small plant left in the shadow without receiving the right care and adequate light that it needed to grow and blossom in all its beauty.

The nourishment of the emotions that should have fed it weren't simply enough to give the roots the strength that they needed to make their way into your true core.

Such emotions have never come even close to be barely sufficient for anyone for a very long time, but you have never actually taken any real interest in it either.

At least not until you met a certain raven haired, green eyed someone, and only then, only when that part has been wrapped in the glowing warmth that she has brought with her, you have realized exactly how lonely and cold and empty that part of you have been, and how incredibly significant and vital it really is. And now, those roots of that metaphorical plant have completely taken over, sinking so deep in your being that it has merged with everything that you are.

It has undoubtedly made you better.

It has given you life.

Because Alex makes you _live_. In every sense of the word.

She brings you all around the world to show you the most beautiful places that it has to offer, and every night she makes you see the stars shining beyond this universe with long, passionate make out sessions and marathons of... intimacy.

She offers you her full, untamed, primal lust drive, and she fulfills so many different forbidden needs held secret by your body that you had no idea you actually desired so fiercely until Alex has showed you.

She gives you rough sex when you crave it - without you having to say anything about such need - and she offers you sweet lovemaking and cuddles and warmth when you need that kind of connection - which is often but you rarely admit it out loud. Not that you have to anyway.

Alex takes care of you like no one else has ever done before. She makes you realize when you are wrong but accepts you for nothing less than who you truly are. She gives you all her patience, her humor, the most mischievous, obvious looks and dirty smirks that you have never seen on anyone else's face before - and that always gets you all hot and bothered - and she offers you every drop of her affection with even the simplest gesture.

Alex can strip herself bare in front of you without appearing remotely exposed or vulnerable. On the contrary, it only somehow reinfoices the strength that lives within her while keeping her usual, very attractive demeanor perfectly unshaken, with just a few endearing, rare exceptions.

It never stops to amaze you how she can give all of herself to you - and then some - without being drained from anything. But it shouldn't surprise you so much after all, because you have found out that her sentiment for you - just like yours for her - is simply inexhaustible.

The affection that you feel for Alex makes you feel dizzy.

It flares and burns in you from the inside out with its bright, scorching intensity, and yet, you doubt that you'll ever find a way to tell her exactly how much she means to you.

How wonderfully alive she makes you feel.

How much you truly love her.

It's not about the words to find that makes it so difficult, because you already know that not even your natural speech fluency and vast dictionary would be enough to help you find the words that could even come close to express the intensity of the sentiment that you feel for her. And Alex definitely deserves so much more than some banal, overly abused love quote. Although you have to admit that a "you mean everything to me" comes very close to how you feel, but it doesn't express it thoroughly.

Sometimes you feel like not even the genuine, beating "I love you's" that leap right out of your chest are enough.

The knowledge frustrates you. And sometimes it even makes you angry, knowing that you can be so very eloquent, and still, you don't know how to describe in its whole, wonderful, abyssal depth how the woman that you love makes you feel, and how to express it to her.

But maybe there is a solution to such issue. One that may have given you the satisfying answer that you needed, without realizing that you have been using it for all this time as an equally perfect unspoken phrase.

Becuase, you may not be able to voice the exact way you experience that burning, all-consuming sentiment for Alex, but where words rarely fails you, you surely know how to show it to her.

And during those moments you are not afraid of blurting out something that you have no idea how to phrase and end up just with embarrassing yourself.

No... During those moments you let your hands, your lips, and the rest of your body do the talking and say everything you feel throught that particular language that turns into the well known symphony of lingering touches, soft kisses, gentle bites and breathless moans that is way more than the simple, exclusive, wonderful physical connection of two bodies.

And Alex knows that.

She knows that this is not just one of those encounters of passionate sex.

Although, at first, she always tries to take over and flip you on your back to play that familiar game that includes your submissive/dominant dynamic. But usually, a certain look, a few whispered words, a particularly gentle and loving touch are more than enough for Alex to realize that _this_ is one of those moments, where you have in mind to cherish devotedly every inch of her.

"Pipes..." The whisper that slips from Alex's lips almost like a plea is the sweetest music to your ears, one that makes you pull back from where you have been losing yourself planting kisses along the column of her throat to gaze up at your lover.

"Hush babe," You whisper back reassuringly, unable to take your eyes off from those emerald pools filled with desire. Your intent is clear, and she doesn't look surprised by it, but you can also catch a veiled hint of conflict in her look, a shade of reluctance that crosses her features at the idea of leaning back and let you take over without her being able to touch you too like she desires so much, but it's a look that starts to dissolve slowly at your following "please, let me."

It's a please, let me take care of you. Please, let me show you how much I love you. The words remain stuck in your chest, but you don't have to let them out, the first part of that request is more than enough to make Alex lean back against the pillows in an unspoke consent and understanding, but not without pulling you down and fuse your mouths together into a deep kiss that doesn't fail in making you shiver all over with delight.

Alex gets you. She knows you. She knows that this is important to you, and she probably even already knows what you are trying to tell her in these moments, and so, by letting you control that deep, yet gentle kiss, she temporarely reliquishes her innate dominant instinct and leaves herself open to you and to your devoted attentions.

That's how much she loves you.

So much that she momentarly gives up even her pure, raw, proud and controlled, deliciously vicious nature for you.

And hopefully, you will be able to show her how much you appreciate such gesture and how deeply you treasure her.

You kiss her again, resting your body on top of hers, embracing her tongue with yours over and over, following a slow pace, like the one of a well learned dance, enjoying the softness and taste of her lips and the way they move so perfectly with yours, until you are forced to pull back, no longer able ignore the desperate need of air.

"Wow..." Even Alex is a little breathless when you break that ardent kiss, and that soft exclamation accompanied by the look of barely contained amazement that appears on her face is enough to make you grin with satisfaction from ear to ear.

"That was... one hell of a kiss, kid."

If possible your grin widens even more at hearing that comment.

"I'm only getting started." You tell her promisingly, placing a hand on her chest and gently pushing her back against the pillows. "You just have to relax and enjoy, baby." And with that, without waiting for a reply, you lean in a trace a new path with your lips along her jawline and down her neck, enjoying the low, guttural groans that such attention earns you and the way she tightens a little more the grip on your thighs when you bite softly and then suck at her pulse point.

You want to show Alex the immensity of how much she means to you, but it doesn't mean that you can't be a little playful about it and enjoy her intense reactions to some of your most seductive, teasing touches.

You are good on your promise, taking all the time you want, undressing her slowly but shuddering from the inside with barely contained eagerness, because it's not often that you manage to have Alex beneath you like this, completely at your mercy.

You spend entire minutes just kissing her, unable to resist to those impossibly soft lips of hers as your hands start roaming on the new exposed, warm skin of her toned stomach, following the curve of her waist, tracing the ridge of her ribs with your fingertips until you reach the band of her bra.

Alex unhooks it for you in one smooth movement and you can't help but groan softly at the sight of those two perfect creamy mounds being finally released. Your mouth waters and your hands come up instinctively to cup as much of them as you can given their generous size, loving how full and heavy and abundant they feel in your palms, and how responsive the hard, rosy peaks there are when you run your thumbs delicately across them.

The gesture earns you another soft hiss of pleasure and it is all you can take before surrendering to the overwhelming need of leaning in and suck them in your mouth in what both you and Alex know is only the start of your delicious descent down her body.

You let your tongue circle the delicate areola and the response is immediate.

Alex arches her back as one of her hands comes down to rest on the back of your head when you suck her nipple between your lips, encouraging you to continue, as if you could ever consider the idea to stop when that very particular, sweet flavor is rolling on your tongue.

It always somehow reminds you of a mix of sugar and almonds. Perfectly balanced. Although you would _never_ tell Alex that her tits taste like a pastry. A delicious, mouth watering, marzipan pastry, precisely. Of which you can never have enough.

A slightly muffled moan reaches your ears and it takes you a moment to realize that it was you the one who let out such sound at the feeling of Alex's nipple hardening even more in your mouth with each one of your sucks.

You switch between them a couple of times, savoring the addictive taste and the feeling of the soft skin of her full breasts in your hands before you pull back with a wet pop, taking a moment to admire how swollen and hard you made them before you continue with your path down her stomach with a string of slow kisses that you know is testing Alex's control, but only enough to make her crave for more.

You use mostly your mouth on her because it is the most intimate act, and also because if your tongue can't seem to form the words that beat so proudly in your chest and say them out loud, you can write them with it, slowly, all over her body, like a painting of emotions.

You make sure to not leave a single inch of her skin untouched or unkissed on your way down her body, lingering on her most sensitive spots which are... a lot, a few are even kind of hidden, but after having spent so many hours exploring and memorizing the secrets that her body holds, those delicate, responsive spots are certainly no longer difficult for you and your mouth to find, and the way Alex responds to every single one of your attentions is incredibly invigorating.

You deliberately slow down when you reach her navel, nibbing delicately at a soft spot there and at one near her hipbone before going lower for those remaining few inches until you settle comfortably between her already parted legs, and at that point, you can't even suppress the groan that escapes from your throat when you notice the dark patch of wetness formed on the center of her underwear.

"Oh Alex," You whisper, her name slipping from your lips without you even realizing it.

She is already so wet that you can practically make out the outline of the hard, rosy point of her clit through the thin, soaked barrier.

Alex's only response is to squirm a bit under you, and when you glance up at her her eyes lock immediately with yours. They are just barely open, but more than enough for you to recognize the almost desperate hunger that you read into those darkening green pools.

And you don't make her wait a minute longer for what you both desire more than anything.

You manage to lower down and take off her panties without diverting your gaze from hers, but when the first wave of her heady arousal fills your nostrils your eyes inevitably flutters shut and your stomach clenches along with your core with that same need that makes your mouth water.

"Piper..."

The one that leaves Alex's lips is a plea, a request, a small warning and a search for reassurance all at once.

The combination, the contrast between her strength and hidden vulnerability in her voice and look literally takes your breath away.

She has never looked more beautiful to you than in this moment of total emotional openness.

Is way more than the reflection of need that she is feeling, but the answer that you give her is an universal one that responds to everything. And so, with your heart hummering in your chest and your body trembling with emotion, you lower your head for the rest of the way and plant a soft kiss on the short, dark patch of hair resting above her sex before continuing lower.

Those stunning green eyes remain locked with yours for a long moment, but at the first, slow swipe of your tongue between her smooth, warm, slick folds, Alex tilts her head back, exposing the elegant column of her throat as she moans out loud, tightening a little the hold that she still has on the back of your head as you too let out a muffled groan against her center at her exquisite, sweet, salty taste combined with that lingering heady flavor that is purely Alex.

You roll your tongue up her labia, swirling it around her clit, sucking her gently and slowly and lovingly in your mouth, gathering as much wetness as you can from her opening, and the more you lick her, the more she gives you, making your movements a slick, messy delight for you both to enjoy.

You lavish Alex's clit for so long and so slowly that you almost make her think that you don't plan to make her come at all. But when the first signs of veiled protest and obvious need start to show, you don't hesitate to reassure her.

It's not like you do it on purpose, it's not teasing, but she just tastes so amazing and you love so much how intensely she reacts to the warmth of your mouth that you really can't help but wish that you could keep going on forever.

You release her clit with a soft wet sound before you go lower to lick at that spot resting just under her pulsating opening, enjoying the way you hear her breath hitch in her throat in a sort of breathless gasp and then turn into another deep groan when you push past her entrance with your tongue, going even deeper than you have ever gone before, and Alex's approval for the gesture shows from the way her inner walls flutter wildly around you, to the way she reaches down with her other hand and run her fingers through your hair, more in search of contact than to keep you there firmly in place as she rolls her hips to follow your rhythm.

Low groans and hisses of pleasure get mixed with the wet sounds of your mouth on her, filling the air around you, and as if those delightful sounds aren't enough to encourage you to keep going with all your devoted attentions, the way she starts lifting her hips seeking for some more contact with you against her most responsive and needy parts, certainly do.

You can sense, by the way you feel her fingers running almost tentatively through your hair that she is trying so very very hard to suppress that fierce, wildly passionate part of her being in this moment and let you continue. And you can only show your appreciation by increasing your efforts, until she is trembling beneath you and calling your name with that familiar warning in it.

When it is clear that she is approaching the edge and can't resist for much longer you don't hesitate to form a seal with your lips around her hardened clit and suck her in your mouth.

You make it just in time to look up, over the slick, glistening layer of sweat formed on her perfect, toned stomach, to glance at her and at the look of pure pleasure that washes over her face in the split second that preceds the fall before she lets go completely.

And when she comes a heartbeat later, it is impossibly long and powerful and wonderful.

She squirms so much under you that you have to use a great deal of the strength in your arms and upper body to hold her down, pressing one hand on her lower belly and hooking the other arm around her thigh to keep her a little more still whenever her hips jolt forward seeking for more of the warmth of your mouth, more contact with you. But Alex's is a lot stronger than you, and the unmeasurable pleasure coursing through her veins is making her even more relentless, showing all her vigor and wild, raw power in this infinite moment of pure bliss.

It seems to last for entire minutes but you don't stop to lick and suck her, ignoring the dull, gratifying ache in your jaw, until she collapses back on the bed in a magnificent, trembling, breathless mess, and even then you take a few more seconds to clean every drop of her pleasure from her, being careful to not overstimulate her, before continuing with a string of soft kisses on her inner thigh.

When you pull back is with a final delicate kiss on the ridge of her clit before your attention shifts up to your lover. The sight that greets you after such performance is one that makes your heart swell with infinite sentiment in your chest and that also spreads a huge smile across your face.

"You okay baby?" You ask her sweetly.

Alex is completely spent. Something that you have rarely witnessed before. And even if your intent wasn't this one, you cannot say that it doesn't thrill you the idea of having succeeded in such - not easy at all - task.

Her cheeks are flushed, her eyes still closed, and her breathing is ragged, but it is slowly returning back to a normal rhythm.

She looks exhausted. But fully sated and satisfied, if the hint of the tired smirk that you notice tugging weakly at the corner of her mouth is any indication.

"Uh uh," Is the eventual answer that she offers you as soon as she has recovered enough to form words again. "That was... really really intense."

"Yeah?" You can't help but ask with a loving excited smile.

"Yeah..." Alex repeats sincerely before tugging weakly at your hand. "Come here."

In front of such invitation, knowing perfectly well what she craves after this - since it is the same thing that you do - you can only obey quite eagerly, crawling up for the rest of the way and wiping the last traces of Alex's arousal from your chin with your arm before fusing your mouths together in a deep, slow kiss when Alex pulls you gently down on top of her comforting, warm, solid body.

"Mh, I taste good on you, kid." She whispers kind of seductively and a little breathlessly in a deep, husky voice when you part.

She tastes _wonderfully_ on you, you think as you lick your lips one more time to savor the lingering flavor there, but before you can point that out, Alex is tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and she's giving you that particular look, the one that has tenderness and affection written all over, and in front of it the words simply die in your throat.

You should know by now that she knows very well what _this_ was all about, yet it never stops to surprise you realizing how deeply Alex truly understands you when she looks at you like she is doing right now, offering your that sweet, impossibly tender and almost shy smile that sometimes you forget is a part of her nature, just like it is her more instinctive one. And it is right with that look that she tells you "You know, I love you too, Pipes."

There.

You really doubt that in your life you'll ever experience a better feeling than this glorious, exhilarating, incredibly powerful one that spreads with warmth inside you whenever you hear Alex express her love for you.

Those words and the reflection of the sentiment shining in all its intensity into those bright emerald eyes will never fail to take your breath away.

It's a look and a light, genuine, beautiful smile that you know only Alex was ever meant to give to you, feeling as a matching, slightly teary, but full one starts tugging at your lips too.

You have realized now that you don't need to find another language to tell her how you feel.

She already knows.

Your heart flutters wildly as you lean in to kiss her again in answer, deeply, slowly, feeling her lips shape into a smile against your own.

But suddenly, just as you were starting to lose yourself into that kiss, Alex decides to take advantage of the distraction provided by it and invert your position.

A loud laugh escapes from your lips when a second later you find yourself on your back with Alex on top of you and a very familiar wide smirk covering her face and reaching her sparkling eyes.

Yes, she has always known exactly how much you love her even without you knowing how to express it thoroughly with words.

And now, she is going to show it to you too just in your same, favorite way.

* * *

 **Remember the toothbrush guys :D**


	9. Chapter 9

Hi there!

Ok, so I have notice a certain request a few chapters back about you guys wanting me to write a particular scene after I have posted a specific chapter, and I have also noticed that a guest asked for it again in a comment a few days ago and, well I was already working on it, lol :D Yes, I'm referring to the Alex-jealousy-reaction thing. I have decided to give it a try about how I - personally - imagine Alex "live" such emotion, but I wrote the chapter as in one of Piper's attempt to trigger that reaction on Alex :P So... Now I'll leave you to it :D

A minimal warning for mentions of anal sex but there is nothing graphic :)

Enjoy

* * *

You and Alex have been together for quite a while now. It's by far the longest - not to mention first real - relationship you have ever had, and during all this time that you have spent together, you have observed her with attention and curiosity. Learning many things about her behavior and habits. And discovering her preferences about books and music and food and all the various things that she enjoys most.

Generally, you are comfortable with saying that you know Alex pretty well.

And yet, sometimes, despite your attentive observations, you have the impression that Alex knows you and every shade of your vast colorful spectrum of emotions better than how you know hers.

She is much more perceptive than you are.

More instinctive and rational.

You are practically convinced by now that she must at least have an additional sixth and seventh sense; one of which consists in knowing whenever you are upset about something before you can even sort through the emotions that you are feeling and figure out what exactly are you experiencing, while the other instead is directly linked to the ardent spark of her inexhaustible lust.

There is no doubt in your mind that all those features and qualities are all part of her magnificent, unique, true wild nature.

A part of you envies it, but in some sort of silent admiration that inspires you to keep watching her to try to catch those few characteristics that have escaped from your loving scrutiny as you think about the aspects that you haven't yet _detected_ on her.

Like, for example, you don't think you have ever seen an angry Alex.

As in an angry, run-for-your-life kind of way.

Thankfully.

Although, you have to admit, that even if the idea of witnessing her wrath doesn't certainly fills you with joy, another part of you - the lust driven-kinky part of you - gets _maybe_ a little bit excited at the hypothetical perspective of her taking you in a particularly rough way when she is high from such an intense, violent emotion...

Another thing that you have learned about Alex, is that she is remarkably good at lying, and this only increases her already infinite amusement towards you and the reactions that you have when you believe to some of the crazy stories that she tells you, because, one of her favorite pastimes consists in teasing you. And if it wasn't for her bursting out laughing because of your incredulous expression, you would never know if she's being serious or what.

But you could never get mad at her for that.

Well... Not too seriously at least.

And never for too long in any case.

You love her laugh way too much; both the deep, rich, throaty sound that leaves her lips, and the way that that look brightens her face and makes her eyes sparkle.

It's one of the expressions that you love to see the most on your lover's face. Beside the look of pure desire that darkens her eyes and makes you shiver all over with delight for its piercing intensity.

In conclusion, you hope that you'll never see how a truly angry Alex looks like since you can imagine how... intimidating that would be, and of course you don't ever want to see her worried or afraid or emotionally hurt, although you have seen that last one already. And that time it has been your fault.

You still regret it immensely.

But beside all those unpleasant emotions, there are a few ones that you can't help but find kind of adorable on Alex. Like when she is a little grumpy - which happens when she didn't have enough sleep, or when she is having a particularly unpleasant first day of her period.

And then there are those few occasions where she is annoyed and frustrated, which happens rarely but almost every time during the infamous airport delays where you are both confined there for extra hours.

Try to soothe her and distract her during those occasions is mostly your job, one that you absolutely adore, taking immense pride in the satisfying results of a more relaxed and calmer Alex.

But there is one last specific emotion that you know causes a very particular response. One that you have only recently discovered and experienced yourself, and that has you very, _very_ curious at the idea of seeing it on your lover, and see if she wears it as tightly and uncomfortably as you do.

Although, you are actually starting to wonder if you'll ever witness it considering that the occasions to trigger that response in her haven't exactly lacked during these months...

It's a thought that crosses your mind during a particularly pleasant and peaceful late afternoon, when you are lying on another heavenly beach, and where Alex is sitting right next to you, enjoying the contrast between the warm rays of the sun and the cool, salty breeze on her wet skin while you force yourself to not stare at her too hard and actually try to pay some attention to the open book in your hands.

It's really not a unique scene. You have had blissful, lazy days like this one before that resemble pretty much a vacation, where you lose yourself in watching Alex dry herself from her latest bath in the sea while trying unsuccessfully to not get distracted by the shining drops of salt water running down her neck and chest to disappear in the sweet, inviting valley between her breasts, _knowing_ that she is perfectly aware of your lingering gaze, and suspecting that she is hiding a huge smirk under that towel when she proceeds to dry the long locks of her proud black mane.

No, this is nothing new in what has become your life with Alex. A smile tugs briefly at your lips at the thought before you are suddenly pulled back from your reading - staring - by a small chatting-laughing group - that looks to be barely over their teens - walking in front of your little spot on the beach, probably headed to near bar for the happy hour. And it is right in that moment that you absently catch the eyes of one of the young boys in the party, who slows down and gives you a quick once over of unmistakable appreciation followed by a contrasting shy smile.

It's so quick and sudden that before you can even blink and decide how to respond to that particular look, the shy young boy has diverted his curious gaze and has quickened his steps to catch up with the rest of his friends.

It kind of surprises you. Especially since it wasn't one of those obvious rude looks that would have made you roll your eyes and groan in annoyance, but it was more like a simple and genuine glance of... innocent interest.

You are left there, a bit puzzled, and more than a little bit pleased actually, because being appreciated even if with just a simple look and a gentle smile offered by a stranger feels kind of nice.

But you are not the expert in this field.

Alex is.

And speaking of... You don't have to turn around and look at her to know that she has noticed the brief exchange, but you do it anyway, suddenly thrilled by the idea of the unknown expression that you'll find there on her face. Only to remain completely disappointed when you are greeted by a huge smirk and a bright spark of amusement shining in her emerald eyes.

Yes, you have to admit that you were secretly hoping that she would have noticed that brief glance.

But that one is _not_ the expression that you wanted to see in your lover's face after a stranger has given you a certain look. At all.

It wasn't inappropriate or anything like that, but still. It was definitely obvious. And you would expect to get some kind of reaction about it from your girlfriend, who just keeps smirking at you.

It makes you feel incredibly frustrated.

So much in fact that and you can't even help but glare at her.

"Why are you never jealous?"

Ah, shit...

Your eyes widen and you can feel your entire face heat up with the familiar, uncomfortable warmth of embarrassment as soon as you realize that you have actually said those words out loud.

Ok...

So, maybe you haven't planned to blurt out the question - especially not like this - making it sound pretty much like a very annoyed complaint rather than a curious inquiry like it sounded in your head, but apparently your mouth has a will of its own. And after all this time, it's not something that should really surprise you anymore since you get the same result - in... uh, many colorful ways - everytime you are anywhere near Alex.

And so, as the heat spreads down your neck and up till the tip of your ears, you can only watch in horror as Alex's entire face lit up at your question, with an expression that you can only describe as barely controlled amusement.

You can practically read the question that has formed in her head all over her face before she actually asks it.

"Why? Should I?"

The arched eyebrow that accompanies it adds another note of curiosity and mocked uncertainty that fuels your irritation even more and makes you blurt out a loud "Yes!" which is immediately followed by "I mean no! I mean- ugh..."

And at this point, at your rambled confused answers, Alex really can't contain her laughter anymore.

You seriously don't expect Alex to get jealous over a teenager that has glanced at you. And what you actually meant to say was, "it would be kind of nice every now and then, and not only because your possessiveness turns me on" but you get frustrated by your own sudden inability to form a proper answer, trying unsuccessfully to cover the blush of deep embarrassment on your face by tilting your head down and pinching the bridge of your nose in frustration.

"It's okay Pipes," Alex reassures you through a soft chuckle when she sees you briefly burying your head in your hands and release a low groan.

"He's just a kid." She then points out just like you expected, catching the end of her nonchalant shrug when you reluctantly decide to pick your head up to look at her. "He doesn't even have a beard." She continues through yet another amused smirk as she glances briefly towards the bar where the concerned boy is leaned against the counter.

You wisely decide to not say anything else beside releasing a long sigh and mumbling a dismissive "just... pretend I didn't say anything" in order to not embarrass yourself further and to avoid a discussion that could easily turn into something that you are pretty sure neither of you want to start. Not now, not ever. But especially not now, when all you have in front of you is the calmness of the sea and the gentle crash of its waves on the shore and the beginning of the sunset to share with your lover.

So, when Alex resumes to towel dry her hair offering you a genuine soft smile of reassurance followed by a loving wink, you inevitably melt a little, this time blushing softly for a whole other reason as you relax back on your on seat, reopening your book where you left it.

The subject drops there and is not brought up again, although, for how much you try not to think about it, it simply keeps running in the background of your mind, and you really don't know why.

Because it's not like you fear that Alex doesn't desire you so much that she is willing to threat anyone who looks at you in a way she doesn't like. You know that Alex loves you like no one else, and that she would do absolutely anything for you, but she is not the kind of person to do such things, although the idea to see her act even just a little bit jealous... thrills you in a naughty way that you simply cannot resist.

You kind of suspect that the sensation is all fueled by the curiosity that burns in you about wanting to learn a little more of the behavior of your favorite wild creature and see how she'd react if someone tries to hit on her... _mate._

And just like that, it's only a matter of a couple of days before another occasion to trigger that emotion in your lover presents itself.

You are on the same heavenly beach and on the same perfect spot of the previous few days.

Alex has just ended a phone call and you have just come out from the near beach showers to remove the salt from your skin after your delightful bath in the crystal clear water with your lover.

"I think I'll go get something to drink," You inform her spreading out your damp towel on one of the sun loungers as Alex takes a seat on the other one. "You want something too baby?" You ask her approaching her while she looks for something on her phone, taking the occasion to smooth the frown between her eyebrows by running your fingers through her hair, grinning when you hear her purr softly in the back of her throat and feel her lean in against your touch, before she answers to your offer with a mumbled and distracted "no, thanks."

You pull back with a soft smile, deciding to not disturb her, but getting pretty surprised when she grabs your hand a moment before you turn to leave, gently tugging you down to press a kiss on your lips.

It was meant to be just a quick peck but you can't help but make it last a bit longer and deepening it a little before pulling back with a smile.

"Don't take too long," She whispers against your lips, trying really hard to hold back a smirk when she continues with a seductive "I need someone to help me reapply the sunscreen on my back."

You grin at her. That particular assignment is one of your favorites, and Alex knows that.

"Take a shower," You tell her, delicately tracing your fingers over her shoulder when you notice the residuce of salt shining like tiny crystals on her skin. "I'll be right back to take care of it."

With that promise you head for the near bar and give your order to the bartender, waiting patently at the counter and stealing loving glances where Alex is still focused on her phone.

You are suddenly distracted from your observation when a tall figure approaches you, drawling a greeting in english with a particular southern accent, and making a humorous comment about your drink when its placed in front of you right in that moment.

The whole scene gives you that particular deja vu vibe.

And as you blink and turn to look at the person who has just talked to you, meeting a smiling, bearded guy, you suddenly realize why - at the exception of the friendly look - that scene seems so familiar to you.

Your gaze shifts briefly on the other side of the bar and lands on a specific, distracted tall figure on the beach with longing before you return the kind greeting with a smile.

He makes a funny a joke about having met more americans here in this small Caribbean island than in Florida where he lives and you chuckle.

He flashes you a smile and introduce himself before taking a seat on the stool next to yours.

You didn't have in mind to stay and start a conversation, but when you raise your head and meet in the rather short distance your lover's gaze, something clicks, and so you decide to use the occasion for that small innocent behavioral experiment that you wanted to observe in your favorite, beloved, untamed creature. Unable to resist the temptation.

That first glance turns out to be quick but now you know that Alex has spotted you there with this stranger sitting right next to you.

Good. You can barely contain a smile as you take a seat yourself while your new companion makes the first move to start a conversation and you take a first general look at him.

He's very fit. A sculpted chest and broad shoulders. He has the aspect of the classic surfer. Very athletic, with tanned skin, light brown hair, a neat beard, a perfect white smile and a charming southern accent.

He's quite handsome.

But even just the idea of comparing him to Alex's unique, astonishing beauty and magnificent complex personality is already an insult.

He's funny enough, friendly but keeps a distance, and he's not flirting with you, but after a few subtle, veiled hints you start to think that he might be cautiously testing the waters, and as soon as you realize that you look up, containing a smirk as your eyes search for Alex, frowning when you don't find her on the lounger anymore but relaxing when you spot her a few feet distant from it, right under the beach shower.

And at this point, with no reason to ask yourself why, you get suddenly very very distracted. So much that you miss completely an entire part of the conversation you were having with your companion, too mesmerized by the sight of Alex tilting her head back and running her fingers through her hair to wash it from the salt as the spray of the shower massages every inch of her body.

You have no idea how you succeed in diverting your gaze from that very enjoyable sight and return to the conversation but you do it, somehow even managing to pay attention to it for a couple of minutes before you tilt your head again to take a peak above your companion's shoulder to look at Alex. And there she is. Just starting to dry herself with a towel after her quick shower and meeting your gaze with perfect timing, but as you look at her you notice something in her look.

Did she just...? Did she just actually _glared_ in your direction?

A spark of something very close to excitement flares in your stomach. Only to be extinguished a second later when you realize that she isn't wearing her glasses and she was probably just squinting her eyes to look better, or because of the sun.

God, you were really hoping that this was going to be that occasion. The one where she would do something, _anything_ , maybe even come over there to get you and break the surfer's fingers for daring to distractly bump his hand on your wrist for a fraction of second. You can practically already taste the moment, feel it making every inch of your body hum with a sense of anticipation and then... Alex diverts her gaze.

She turns and walks towards the sun lounger to spread her towel on it before sitting down and pick up the sunblock.

 _What the-_

You watch with incredulity as she calmly starts applying the impossibly high sunscreen on her fair, perfect alabaster skin to protect it from the unforgiving Caribbean sun. Starting by rubbing some of it up her long, toned legs. Slowly, so slowly and with so much care that it's impossible for you not to think that she is doing it on purpose, knowing that you are still watching her, just to distract you and sabotage what she must have definitely figured out by now be your plan.

You don't think that you have let something slip with just a few glances, but you could not swear that considering how perceptive Alex truly is.

You sigh silently, deciding that there is no point in continuing with this charade and then practically jumping from your spot when you notice her starting to untie her bikini.

Your eyes widen, your mouth falls open you almost lose your balance, barely hearing your companion ask you if you are feeling okay before you excuse yourself, quickly but politely, saying your goodbye with an impatient smile and then storming towards Alex just when she was starting to lower down the straps from the back of her neck. Not knowing if you speed up because suddenly eager to see her more closely like this - which is... highly probable - or if it is to stop her from undressing herself on the beach under the eyes of the others occupants and reveal the twins to everyone.

"What are you doing?!" You whisper-shout to her as soon as you reach her.

"There you are," She says nonchalantly but making no effort to mask the smirk that has probably started to form on her lips before she could even notice your approaching shadow on the sand. "I decided to start without you." She continues innocently, but luckily she reties the straps of her bathing suit. "I hope you don't mind."

You consider playing it cool, but there is really no point to so you simply go for the less elegant observation and strike hard.

"For your information, while you were here, that guy over there was practically flirting with me."

 _There. If this doesn't work I swear..._

Finally, at hearing this her hand falters in the movement of rubbing the lotion up her exposed shoulder as she glances towards the bar and visibly narrows her eyes into a very controlled, very subtle glare through icy eyes.

"Uh, was he now?"

"W-well..." You are ready to lie and confirm what you said, but that look kind of scares you, so much that you almost take a step back, so you decide to be sincere. "Not exactly, no." Was he? You don't think so. Maybe. Honestly, you were too busy ogling a showering Alex to notice.

"Then I guess it must be his lucky day," She says with that same smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth, but her tone is still a bit dark and so is her look, as if she wanted to continue with something like "... since he doesn't get to throw up his own nuts because of a knee in the crotch."

It's not like you are _seriously_ concerned about Alex beating some guy up just because he was talking to you.

...but still.

After all, you know how incredibly strong she is, and you are aware that the strength that she allows herself to use during your private moments of... controlled rough intimacy, is just a minimal fraction respect the real, raw, brute one that she keeps packed in her muscles. And you actually are starting to wonder if it is wrong that the idea of Alex showing such strength and dominance to someone else to keep them at distance from you happens to turn you on just a little bit.

So yes, after a brief consideration you decide to interpret Alex's tone in that way and you actually feel kind of satisfied about the result even if you had to force it a little.

"So... did you get your answer, kid?"

Alex's following contrasting tentative question pulls you back from your thoughts, and when all you do is just look at her a bit confused, with a light tilt of your head, she specifies with an unexpected but endearing hint of uncertainly after releasing a small sigh, "About... the question you asked me the other day."

She doesn't have to specify further. It's obvious by now that this is all about the jealousy-thing you started a few days ago.

You think about it for a minute and the conclusion at which you arrive, is that Alex _could_ maybe be a little bit "jealous", but she can locate and identify the "threats" with her very attentive observations skills, knowing that she would definitely act on them if such threat gets too close to you or starts acting in an unappropriate way.

A part of you gets excited by this idea; thinking that Alex might always be watching over you and paying attention to whoever gets near you like the affectionate, guarding predator that she is.

"I'm not sure..." You admit at last, biting your lip and tilting your head down in conflict.

"Then I'll try to make this as clear to you as possible." She says as she finishes to apply the sunscreen on her arms and stands, and you would actually find that particular tone she used and the piercing, darker look in her eyes kind of intimidating if you wouldn't know better, but still, her confident stance sends a delicious shiver down your spine.

"You can talk to anyone you like Pipes, and pretend to flirt with anyone you want," She starts and you open your mouth ready to correct her and say that you weren't absolutely doing such thing, but before you can form a single word, she continues taking a small step forward and deepening her voice into a low almost dangerous whisper. "But at the end of the day, we both know to whom this ass here belongs to. Don't we?" And with that, her hand make its way on your butt to firmly grip your left cheek, giving a very suggestive squeeze that makes you jump and gasp a little in surprise.

"And it _always_ comes back to me." She concludes, barely managing to suppress a growl that makes you shiver all over. "Maybe I should remind you that with the _appropriate_ attention, should I?"

Your mouth goes suddenly dry and your stomach clench in a very familiar and incredibly pleasant way.

"Y-you mean..?" You already know _exactly_ what she is suggesting but you ask it anyway.

She lifts one perfectly sculpted eyebrow at you as in confirmation before offering a proper answer in a deliberate lower, more seductive tone that increases your heart rate and makes your knees feel like jelly.

"I mean that I may have forgotten to bring along my spare bathing suit and phone charger this time," She reveals, "but I haven't forgotten to pack another kind of... _equipment._ And a certain, _specific_ moisturizer that has nothing to do with after sun lotion."

God, she is so saucy.

You love it.

And if that statement isn't already enough to have you shiver with delight and anticipation, the prospect of her taking you so deeply and intimately has your most sensitive parts already throbbing with painful need and overwhelming desire.

Finally you get your answer.

No... Alex is not jealous.

Jealousy is... too common. Reserved to conventional, normal couples.

And ownership is just so... disgustingly patriarchal.

But Alex's fiercely passionate possessiveness towards you has nothing to do with simple jealousy or with that kind of ownership and with its dated concept of property.

She has claimed you completely. From every infinite beat of your heart to every single inch of your body, including the most intimate and forbidden parts of yourself that you haven't let anyone else take before her. And this makes you belong to her, linked to her just like she is to you in a way that could never be explained with simple empty words.

Alex doesn't have jealousy so pronunced in her dna, but she is protective, and perhaps you have succeeded in making her just a little bit more possessive today, and maybe _that_ was what you were aming to.

Well, _that_ and the promise of a long hard fuck that will leave you with the most perfect and delightful reminder that you belong to her and only her in that unique way for several days.

So you grin at her through a soft blush on your cheeks and offer her the new reply to her previous question after having considered these latest aspects.

"I think I got my answer now." You tell her and the satisfied, confident smirk that tugs at her lips is the best response you could have gotten beside her flirty and promising "Good, then lets make sure you'll never forget it."

* * *

 **Here it is... This is just how I see Alex, and this one here is just my personal view about how I imagine could be her "interpretation" on general jealousy - or not-jealousy, lol - I don't think I can actually picture her making an angry scene like I have done a few chapters ago with Piper. She is much more confident and rational so... Yeah, considering her behavior and personality I came up with this kind of reaction :)**


	10. Chapter 10

Hi everyone!

It seems like the site is working again, cool! Wow, I see that you guys agree pretty much with me about the Alex-jealousy matter :D I'm so glad you found the chapter interesting and realistic :) Reading your comments, especially the ones that say that my writing gives justice to Alex and Piper and to their personalities is really one of the best compliments for me, and I could never thank you enough, not even for all the other lovely reviews you left about it! :D Really guys, you are all so kind, and this makes it even harder to say to you that regarding this story I have just a couple of chapters left... Yep, I was thinking about one more chapter before the break up and then the epilogue where they find themselves in prison with a few, brief references here and there from the first, till maybe the beginning of the third season (where Piper was still acting okay) but not past that, because... Yeah, I _still_ have to start with the fourth season myself (I know...) so... Considering where I left the show, that's what I had in mind :)

Anyway, about this chapter, before ending the story I wanted to post another smutty chapter and this one here is kind of different from all the others :) I'll just say that it contains masturbation and dirty talk, but the rest I'll leave it to you to find out :D

Enjoy

* * *

There are many things that you have never truly enjoyed about sex before you met Alex - almost anything, really - from the simple act of kissing, to the first tentative, exploring touches, and to all the... messy rest that followed.

You don't know if you should blame that on you or on the pale, insipid sexual encounters that you have had with your previous boring and selfish partners or on general inexperience and lack of skill to listen to your own body and to its needs during those moments.

You guess that it could be a combination of all those factors, but what you know for sure, is that the way your body has responded to Alex's touch that first night you have been intimate, has made you feel truly, fully alive for the very first time in your life in a way you never imagined could be possible.

And that same sense of amazement that you have felt in that first occasion still surfaces, because the things that Alex does to you, the way she uses her hands and her mouth on you to show you what real, authentic pleasure is, always triggers that kind of reaction.

You absolutely love, with every part of your being, how Alex's mouth feels on you.

The way she kisses you is already enough to make your head spin. The way her lips press kisses down your body and suck gently your most responsive spots, rended even more sensitive by the light, teasing nibbles, makes you shiver in the most exquisite ways. And the way her tongue leaves glistening trails down your body before kissing you so intimately, rolling so slowly and sweetly and accurately on your sex, up your labia to gather the thick juices there before circling your clit with precise gentle strokes, always make you desperate for more, wishing that you could live in that moment, wrapped in that sublime warmth, forever.

The touch of her mouth is something that you have never known before. And the same can be said about her very skilled hands.

Those hands that look so strong, and so delicate at the same time. And that feel so confident and searching in their touch. Both teasing and proposeful. Gentle and - on occasions - a little less gentle, owning that compelling, hidden trace of controlled, thrilling roughness that you enjoy so much.

The touch of her hands is probably the one that mirrors more perfectly her true, affectionate and wild essence beside the lingering looks and dirty smirks that she flashes at you all the time.

But you would never be able to choose a favorite... performace, because there isn't a single thing that those amazing fingers and that incredibly talented tongue aren't able to do, or a wonderful sensation that they haven't elicited in you. And there isn't a minute during the day where Alex's loving touch, even in its simplest, most innocent and gentle gesture, doesn't make your skin tingle and has your core clench with desire, breaking down the thin barriers of your self-control.

The outcome is pretty obvious, and sometimes that demand of your body is so strong and so hungry that you literally have to drag her somewhere more private in order to take care of that overwhelming need. And Alex, of course, certainly doesn't protest. Because, after all, most of the times _she_ is the one initiating such contact, knowing the effect that it has on you. An effect that - with no small amount of pride - you know you have on her, too.

Just thinking about it, about the passion that flares and consumes you both during those moments, and about all the things that you would like Alex to do to you and the ones that you would love to do to her, is more than enough to get you particularly... excited. Squirming with the echo of that very familiar need as it swells so tightly in your lower belly.

And today is no different.

You shift once again in your position on the too big and too empty bed, sighing when you glance with longing at Alex's perfectly made side and then groaning softly when a new wave of desire makes you press your legs together in search for some kind of relief, without being so surprised when once again it doesn't work as hoped.

Alex is out on a meeting, has been for the past several hours, and you have no idea when she'll be back.

You miss her.

And with all these throughts floating in your mind, your body is starting to miss her too.

You are aware though that in the meantime, as you wait for her return, you could distract yourself with something and then jump her in the moment she steps into the bedroom. But the things that your body is telling you right now make you quickly realize that _this_ isn't one of those times where you will be able to simply wait. And, after all, you wouldn't say that your lover's absence right now is exactly completely unfortunate. Because, if there is another thing that you have discovered and started to enjoy - all thanks to Alex and to the new view that she has gifted you with about sex and its infinite wonders - is occasionally take care of such needs on your own.

It's not something that you do often since Alex is always there ready to take care of it in many different ways, but in the rare occasions you do it, you take your time to fully enjoy the moment, releasing your imagination as you start fantasizing about all the wonderful things you would like Alex to do to you.

You consider it as some sort of appetizer before the main course. Just a first bite that stimulates a bit more the appetite, but that also will keep at bay your hunger until Alex's return.

Your mouth waters as you roll into a more comfortable position, burying your head in Alex's pillow, where her scent lingers on the soft fabric and inspires you.

And as you inhale deeply the heady fragrance of your lover, images start to form in your head; memories from some particularly intense encounter, but also scenes that you create from nothing in particular and that you would like to live, and as they appear with impressive clarity, bringing along the first echo of the sensations, it's impossible for you to keep your own hands from venturing down your body, slowly, and eventually, inevitably, under the waistband of your underwear.

You let your hand slid past the short, neat patch of soft blonde hair and lower, where you find yourself already wet, and ready. Slick with desire, and swollen with need.

The thick amount of wetness shouldn't surprise you so much, and in fact it is more the feeling of your clit pulsing under the pad of your fingers that rips a soft gasp from your throat, only now realizing exactly how desperate your body is to get that sweet, sweet release.

It's the last thing that you need to feel to let go of that last trace of hesitation and start touching yourself. Slowly. With no rush. But adding a bit more of pressure in your touch.

You let your mind wander, but the center of all those fantasies is always Alex.

You think about a particular memory of you two in bed, about the way she touches you, about the feeling of her fingers skimming delicately on your skin, about the whisper of her lips on your neck and collarbone and breasts...

Without you even realizing it, your other hand joins in the party, travelling up from your navel, past your stomach until it reaches your chest, where you cup your own breast, squeezing lightly and then a little harder before pinching softly the hard nipple in the same moment you trap your clit between two fingers to gently milk the hard tiny shaft, just like Alex always does.

God...You really, really miss her.

You part your legs to give your hand the space to move more freely as you repeat the movement once, twice until the first soft moan escapes from your lips and you feel a new small flood of warmth gushing out from deep inside you to coat your fingertips.

With the extra slickness provided you let your fingers graze delicately the ridge of your hardening clit, drawing slow circles, almost tentatively at first, but the touch, for how light, is more than enough to make your eyes flutter shut, surrendering to a feeling that only makes you crave for more, just like Alex always manages to make you feel.

You think about her so intensely that it doesn't take long for your touch to feel like your lover's confident and loving one. And with you lying on her side of the bed, with her scent filling the air and making you dizzy with the traces of her presence there, you lose yourself in the sea of all those sensations.

Within a minute you have already established a good rhythm. Not too fast but not too slow either. It's definitely purposeful, and meant to be savored.

And you do savor it.

Deeply.

Every single second of it.

Until, at point short after, just when you were getting even wetter and things were starting to pick up more speed, demanding more from your eager body, where your hips were starting to lift gently off the mattress at each swipe of your fingers across your clit as your back arched lightly against the hand squeezing gently your breast, and where your mouth started to feel dry because of the soft gasps and delicate moans that escaped from your lips to fill the previously very quiet bedroom, you suddenly register something else, sensing like a shift in the air.

And doesn't matter how lost you were in those wonderful sensations and how hot your body was getting with every gentle stroke on your most responsive parts. You would have registered that particular sensation in any case, because even when your eyes are closed and pleasure is pumping vigorously in your veins with adrenaline you are still able to realize that you are no longer alone. _Feeling_ Alex's presence in the bedroom more than hearing it when she comes in.

With that thought in mind your eyes flutter open, and, just like you expected... There she is.

Leaned against the doorframe with a look that is a perfect mix between surprise and unmistakable interest.

You have to blink, though. Once. Twice. Before you realize that she is _Actually, physically_ there and that she isn't just a product of your very, very vivid imagination like the rest of the images that have inspired you for the last five minutes, and the beginning of the smirk that you notice tugging at the corner of her mouth confirms her being not some sort of allucination to you. Not to mention the flame of passion that you see lit up in her eyes as soon as they land on your figure sprawled on the bed, or the comment with which she greets you.

"Such a delightful sight to come home to," She hums as her eyes caress every inch of your body with obvious, captivating, indecent appreciation before smirking even wider and arching an eyebrow as she seductively adds, "I hope you were thinking about me."

You could pretend to look innocent and play the "it's not what it looks like" card, but the furious blush that creep up your face make you realize that it might be a little bit too late for that.

Your mouth is too dry to form words, and you don't trust your voice right now, but you don't have to, because, despite the embarrassment that is burning inside you and making its way down your neck, you already find yourself nodding without diverting your gaze from Alex's piercing one. Because, awkwardness of having been caught with one hand shoved down your underwear and the other under your t-shirt aside, you _were_ absolutely thinking about her, and the look that she is giving you makes it hard to resist and not make you feel even more hot and bothered. Especially when, at your mute response, you notice how the spark of lust that you've seen before in her eyes starts burning even more intensely.

"Good," She answers then looking so very pleased, and you watch, still speechless and dazed, as she starts to take off her jacket and leather boots. "But please," She continues as she approaches the bed, climbing on it so elegantly, crawling towards you before hovering above your still body like the majestic predator that she is, making you swallow hard when you see her pink tongue peaking out to delicately wet her lips, and also notice how dark and... compellingly dangerous her eyes are becoming with every passing second. "Don't stop on my account, kid."

That request doesn't take you as much by surprise as you'd have expected - probably because you have learned to expect almost anything from Alex when sex is involved - but this doesn't stop you from hesitating at first.

You have never done anything like this before, and the idea embarrasses you. But under that thin layer of embarrassment, there is a more solid one of pure thrill that for how well hidden it was, it appeals to you so much more.

You could still ask her why not continue _together_ what you have started alone, but when you look at her and you see the excitement filling those emerald pools at the perspective... That enthusiasm emanating off her is simply contagious.

You don't think you could ever turn down one of Alex's loving, kinky requests, and you could never resist to that look of pure lust veiled with affection.

So you turn a bit in your position and press your lips against hers in a soft kiss that holds your excited, positive answer to try this new thing with her.

Alex responds eagerly and you melt instantly at the sweetness that you find on her lips before surrendering willingly to her dominant nature, parting your lips and allowing access to her tongue in a long, slow kiss that combined with the pleasure coursing through your veins takes your breath away and makes your head spin.

"God, I can't even leave you alone for a few hours, can I?" She asks, barely whispering the words against your lips when you part for air.

"And you couldn't even wait for me to return, could you?" She continues as she slids one hand under your shirt, making you gasp at the first touch of her fingers on your skin, and then moan in delight when she cups your breast and squeezes gently, just like you have imagined earlier.

"Alex..." You moan softly as your eyes flutter shut and your entire body arches into her touch, silently begging for more when she starts playing with your nipple just as your fingers speed up a little in the movement between your legs, slipping every now and then over your clit for how wet you have suddenly become.

"Jesus... you're so impatient," Alex teases you through a barely contained growl that gets mixed in the air with your own moans. "So much that if I'm not here to take care of your tight eager pussy every five minutes you start fingering yourself." A small whimper that sounds pretty much like a sobbed "yes" slips from your lips making Alex grin in approval against your jaw.

"That's my girl," She praises you, purring the words in your ear before starting to plant hot, wet kisses along your neck alterning between sucking softly and biting a bit harder on your pulse point. "Always wet and ready for a long, deep, hard fuck, aren't you?"

God yes, yes you are. For her you'll always be. But for how much you try, words are way too out of your reach right now considering how quickly you are approaching the peak of your pleasure.

You don't know what has sent your desire skyrocketing like this, but there is just something so sensual and so deeply intimate in sharing this moment of pleasuring yourself still completely dressed with Alex lying right next to you, _watching_ you, whispering in your ear a mix of both sweet and dirty things and descriptions that feed your imagination, feeling her hot, moist breath caressing the sensitive skin of your neck and sending shivers all the way down your spine.

Some of the things that Alex says actually increase the embarrassment that you are already experiencing, but they are all true, and the knowledge actually arouses you so much more. Not to mention that the conflict between the two feelings just makes it all even better and more enjoyable.

"You are doing so good Pipes," Alex encourages you, pulling you back from your thoughts with that deep, slightly husky and impossibly sexy voice of hers. "Keep going. I wanna watch you come."

You can sense a promise in there. Like a "do this for me babe, and I'll be fucking you into oblivion later until you'll pass out." A strangled groan escapes from your lips at hearing her statement and at picturing the rest, causing your body to shudder all over as a new powerful wave of arousal assaults you at the perspective, feeling your inner muscles fluttering, begging to clench around something.

"I'm close..." You manage to tell her in between gasps for air and strangled moans, somehow succeeding in opening your eyes, unable not to resist the temptation to look at her.

"Mh, I know." She hums, perfectly aware of your current state and looking so very pleased about it as she smirks at you while slowly running her hand over the plane of your stomach before return up to your chest and start paying attention to your other breasts.

Your eyes flutter shut again at the wonderful sensation, feeling your clit throb with need under your almost frantic movement as your inner muscles clench over and over in that reminder of emptiness inside you.

Fuck.

The temptation to go lower and push past your entrance is so strong, almost overwhelming, but before you can surrender to it, Alex stops you as soon as she notices your hand unconsciously starting to move a bit lower.

"Wait," She says and you really can't believe how fucking perceptive she can be sometimes. "Don't go inside." She instructs you, and before you can whimper a mix of protest and desperation, she lowers her voice into an even deeper tone and says "I want you super tight for when you'll finish this warm up."

Meaning: "I want to be the one who stretches you and pushes deep inside you after this delightful show."

And just like that, the perspective of her taking you hard and deeply flashes in your mind with incredibly vivid detail as you picture Alex taking you with her long skilled fingers pumping in and out of you at a slow but steady rhythm.

A loud moan slips from your lips and your hips start to jolt forward as your hand sped up, lead by the demanding flame of lust fed by Alex's fluent stream of encouragements and dirty words.

You let your mind wander again and you think that you would definitely also enjoy the burning stretch of Alex pushing past your tight entrance with the blunt head of your favorite toy, feeling your inner muscles tightening around the thick hard shaft as she goes so deep inside you that it's all you will be able to feel, until her sex will be practically rubbing against yours with each hard, deep thrust, but for how exquisite that image is, what you want most later, what your body has been begging for all this time, is the feeling of her fingers pumping in and out of you, curling over and over on that sweet spot on your front wall, feeling the pressure there swelling more and more as her palm rub against your clit until you'll be ready to-

"Oh fuck... I-I'm gonna-" That image is so clear in your mind that you can practically feel how it would be like. And even if you are fucking yourself and have control over absolutely everything in your own pleasure and orgasm, you still warn Alex, because deep down, even when passion is burning inside of you so intensely that you are barely aware of anything else beside Alex's presence and that tighteness unfurling in your lower abdomen, a part of you still waits for her permission to let you come.

A permission that she doesn't hesitate to give you.

"Do it." She says softly right in your ear. "Let it go." A wet kiss on your jaw follows. "Come for me Piper."

Her consent it's all you need to hear.

You do it.

Your entire body goes rigid for a long, hot, breathless second, and then... you let go.

You come with a long, loud, broken moan that eventually turns into a breathless whisper that resembles Alex's name as your body arches and shudders violently for the intensity of your climax.

It is incredibly powerful and it feels so wonderfully good. But even if Alex is lying right next to you, and her hand is still squeezing and stroking and caressing your breasts, there is another kind of contact that you crave more than air in this moment and that would complete and intensify your pleasure even more.

So, with the last shred of coordination that you can manage in this moment, you reach out with your free hand to tangle your fingers into her thick, silky hair before bringing her down to fuse your mouths together. And Alex is more than happy to respond to such gesture.

You keep touching yourself, rubbing your clit with as much precision as you can, feeling your wrist burn along with the muscles of your thighs, making you all hot and sweaty with exertion as you drag your orgasm out until you have nothing left except from utter satisfaction and the gentle waves of aftershock bringing you slowly back from your high, where you are left as a breathless, shivering, spent mess. And when the fog of lust fades and you have control and are aware of your body again, you are not surprised to realize that you are actually still kissing Alex and that she has rolled partially on top of you.

The gentle weight of her body on top of yours is the ultimate sensation that makes this act full and complete in the most perfect way, and that also comforts you from the loss of her mouth on you when you eventually part in need of air.

"Oh God," You breathe, still gasping softly as your eyes flutter open to meet Alex's bright green pools. "Wow, that was-"

"-so fucking hot."

Alex completes the line and you feel as a faint blush makes its appearance on your face once again. But knowing that she has sincerely enjoyed this so much is enough to make you smile with satisfaction.

"Maybe I should come back home late from work more often if this is the show that I find at my return." She adds then happily as she scans her eyes up and down your sated body with an appreciating shake of her head, noticing how her gaze linger between your legs where your hand is now gently cupping your most sensitive parts.

Beside the huge smirk that tugs at her lips you know that she is just teasing you with that comment. But that doesn't stop you from saying "please don't," and then, before you can stop yourself, you blurt out a softer, tentative, but absolutely sincere "I missed you."

The reason because you were unsure about telling her that is because she's been out for just a few hours and part of you is maybe a little afraid that she would remind you just that with a humorous laugh. Instead, her answer comes through an unexpected tender smile.

"I'm here now," She reassures you with that softer tone and look that always makes your heart leap wildly with sentiment. "And I think I'll manage to _find a way_ for you to forgive me before the end of the night." She concludes a little more seductively, and you grin excitedly at her and at the sweet promises in her voice before pulling her down for another relatively quick kiss, feeling her approving smirk against your lips.

Oh, she will indeed...

"Wanna join me in the shower and get clean before we get dirty, kid?" She asks when you part and you really can't not notice that distinctive sparkle of mischief shining in those stunning emerald eyes.

The suggestion sounds incredibly inviting to you, because if there is something that you love even more than having Alex naked in front of you, is having Alex naked, wet, glorious body pressed against yours under the hot spray of a shower.

"Sounds like you have something specific in mind." You say barely managing to contain a grin by biting on your bottom lip, but your voice is already dripping with excitement and Alex, of course, notices that immediately.

"Just a way to _properly_ reward you for the little, delightful performance you just offered me." She reveals.

When Alex and the word "reward" are somehow combined with that deep tone filled with promises, there is only one answer, and this time is no different.

So you let that wide grin on your face take over, catching a glimpse of Alex's own dirty smirk before you pull her down for a new, much deeper and heated kiss, relishing in the glorious feeling of the warmth of her mouth and in the gentle confidence of her touch that you have missed so much earlier and that makes your body respond with the unmistikable pull of renewed desire.

* * *

 **Once again I just couldn't resist at the idea of Piper masturbating while thinking about Alex :) ...and of course I could resist even less at the idea of Alex catching Piper in the act, lol :P**


	11. Chapter 11

Hi there!

I know, I'm late, sorry guys, I've been a little busy lately and I took a little more time for this chapter because it's been slightly more delicate to write considering the inevitable change of tone into a more serious one... Yep, if you are wondering, this one here is the "break-up chapter". Sorry guys, I know that a few of you have asked if I could consider to keep Vauseman together by maybe changing circumstances, but I couldn't. I'm actually trying to to stay as much faithful to the original storyline and events as I can, so it would have been impossible for me to change the outcome of their relationship :( But there is still another chapter left for this story, so it doesn't end like this, don't worry :) Anyway, there is a brief mention of Alex's mom here as expected, and even if I just said that I'm trying to remain faithful to facts and informations from the first three seasons of the show, I _absolutely refuse_ to believe that Alex would have let her mom live in a trailer park considering how much she loved her and how loaded of money she was at the time, so that's kinda the only part I decided to change a little.

But now I'll leave you to the chapter...

Enjoy

* * *

It's not rare, especially during particularly lazy and pleasantly calm days of absolute rest where yours and Alex's only concern is to bask in the much needed peacefulness and in the warm, comforting presence of the other in a cozy... domestic enviroment, without the usual rush and frenzy of every other day, for you to spend those quiet moments stealing lingering, loving glances at your lover while indulging in the delicate - almost forbidden, although very tempting - thought about what a future with her could be like.

At first, such thoughts might actually seem a little too "daring", in a dreamy, childish kind of way, but after so much time, _years_ , spent together, you easily admit that you can no longer imagine what a life, your life, without Alex would be like.

The eventuality of being somehow forced into a scenario where she isn't there with you scares you the more you think about it.

A great part of you recognizes to be a little afraid that what you have become, the way you have matured in your time spent with Alex, the way she has brought to the surface and enriched the once hidden parts of your personality, and especially the way your heart has blossomed, fed by the all-consuming burning sentiment that you feel for her and that she always shows to you, will wither and die. Leaving you as the lonely, bare, leafless twig that you didn't know you were before her entry in your life.

There is no doubt in your mind that Alex is now a fondamental root in the metaphorical flowering Wisteria tree that has become your life, and you refuse to acknowledge the idea of a world where you and her might not stay together, although being perfectly aware of such possibility, but at the same time, for how paradoxical, you find difficult to picture a future with the woman that you love more than anything, in an actual, tangible, real way for many reasons...

The first one is that you know that Alex isn't exactly the settle-down kind of woman.

An impression that you had since the first time you've seen her, and that has eventually been reinforced the more time you've spent with her.

You know that Alex can't be contained.

The wildness that lives in her bloodstream doesn't certainly allow captivity.

Especially not in some clichè suburban house with a white picket fence.

But you would never, _ever_ dare to tie a collar of property around her elegant neck and force her into any restricted, conventional relationship-life-scenario that she isn't comfortable with.

You're still not sure if that's the kind of life you want either. But still, it doesn't stop you from innocently fantasizing in a "less traditional" way. Especially if you indulge in the particular, kinky though of Alex wearing that black leather collar encrusted with diamonds that you've imagined; the perfect item to show her strength and resistance as well as her rare, precious, inestimable beauty, but which also points to a complete contrast between what your real, usual dynamic in bed is.

You think that to satisfy a certain fantasy, you wouldn't mind be the one wearing it actually, if it is Alex the one who holds the leash...

You distract yourself in these more pleasant and enjoyable thoughts because you are really trying to avoid the main issue; that even if it wasn't for Alex's untamed nature, there's still one more weighty problem that is probably the major reason why - on a remote region of your mind - you don't think you and Alex could stay truly, happily together ever after like _this_.

And it has to do with her very arguable job.

You are perfectly aware of what kind of job it is that Alex does, although you prefer not to acknowledge it, preferring to keep that part of your shared life hidden, locked away into some shadowed, dusty corner of your mind with the rest of the pile of all the other things you have always decided to ignore or deliberately weight inadequately just like it has been taught to you since you were very little, and repeated to you till your early adult years.

But you can't pretend that the reason why you are always someplace new isn't because of Alex's work schedule. And when you... offer, to carry a bag full of money on the other side of the world, that option to keep pretending is really no longer available. Not even in your incredibly contradictory mind.

You do it because you want to feel the thrill that comes with doing - for once - something bad and forbidden and dangerous and very very much illegal. But in such occasion, that wave of thrill becomes so high that it borders the line where it is an enjoyable kind of excitement and turns into real authentic fear in the moment you realize that the luggage hasn't shown up at your arrival.

The unexpected situation really tests your already thin control, almost succeeding in breaking it for good, and the fact that in the end everything turns out perfectly fine just like Alex had assured you it would, it doesn't soothe you, and the thought of not having been caught doesn't make you feel as relieved as you were hoping to feel.

Your heart seems to race for hours. So hard and fast that you can barely control the shaking of your sweaty hands.

Much to your surprise Alex doesn't notice it. She just grins mischievously at you with sharp excitement for a good part of the ride to the hotel, where she remains true to her words as soon as you step in your room and proceeds to devour you with devotion and enthusiasm as her favorite, most delicious meal.

You welcome the distraction offered by the wonderful sensation of her body against yours, of her lips and hands and tongue touching, licking and kissing every inch of you, making you soon forget even your own name, not to mention the airport unforeseen issue as you allow yourself to get lost in those feelings and in the comfort that you find in the fact that Alex is there. With you.

By the time you are left as a spent, although incredibly sated mess, your heart is beating only at the familiar, warm rhythm of affection, without a trace of concern; Alex has made sure to take those away from you with her loving attentions. But even after the delightful moment of passion, a thought still presents in your mind. The same one that made you reluctant before your departure for this kind of... assignment.

"I don't think I'll ever be able to do something like that again Alex," You tell her as soon as you find your voice, looking as your lover turns on her side to take a better look at you before you continue with a shake of your head. "I can't. And I don't want to."

You don't have to specify what are you talking about. This time she _does_ recognize the signs of light concern as they starts to surface again, and even if you keep your voice as a soft whisper, as if you are revealing her a secret or something, you still make sure to be clear that it's been just a one time thing.

As Alex takes in the light lines of concern on your features your mind drifts for a minute, considering that even if this one wasn't one her specific assignments, the extremely stressful experience still makes you wonder how she could stay into such business and not be constantly afraid of getting caught or... worse.

You still remember the rainy day when you decided to ignore all those lessons from your childhood and asked her how she got into this kind of... profession.

At first, she threw you one of her very expected jokes. A plain tentative to distract you, but when you didn't laugh so sincerely, she became more quiet, then hesitant, and then noticeably nervous, tilting her head up and running a hand through her hair as she flexed her jaw and diverted her gaze from your inquisitive, although very light one.

You recognized those signs of reluctance immediately, and you were right to the point to apologize and dismiss the question because despite the sensivity of the subject your intention was never the one to upset your lover, but eventually, before you could say anything, she decided to tell you the whole story from the beginning.

You were already aware of her past and of what her childhood had been like; of the fact that she was bullied, mocked at school by mean girls of your same social class. It wasn't the first time she told you that, but it was the first one she went into the hurtful details, talking about how she and her mom used to live, how much her mother had to work to give her a decent life, how growing up fatherless had been like, and how awfully it went when she decided to meet him. That same night she also met the guy that is now one of her... closest collegues.

By the time she finished you had a lump of sadness and something very close to guilt stuck in your throat. You still remember that uncomfortable, chocking-like sensation as much as the badly masked, pained expression covering Alex's face.

You've had all you ever wanted growing up.

Alex didn't have such luxury.

But she had a very loving mother.

"What did you want to do?" You remember asking her eventually after having swallowed hard and forced a smile on your lips through your slightly watery eyes before putting a little more of effort to make your voice sound lighter when she looked at you with confused, distant eyes at your question.

"You know, once you grew up, when you were a kid. What did you want to do?"

You don't think being a drug dealer was Alex's big dream. Or that doing this job and spending so much time in such a dangerous, toxic enviroment has become part of her identity, because she is so much more than what she does for a living.

You've watched her shrug one shoulder, faking nonchalance before she answered you with a quiet, "I just wanted to spend more time with my mom. Without her having to worry about working all the time, struggling to pay the bills. I wanted to be able to take care of her and give her a proper home."

Your relationship with your mother has always been kind of controversial. Very antagonistic on occasions, and hearing the things that Alex said about her mom, about the life that she wanted to be able to offer her with the saddest smile you have ever seen twitching on her lips, made your heart clench tightly with a mixed wave of both affection and pain.

Alex has been good on that promise to her younger self, and has taken good care of her mother over the years. But even if that answer satisfied your question you still couldn't help but ask her softly and just a little more tentatively, "Beside this... There is anything else that maybe you would like to be?"

You don't think you'll ever be able to forget what she said next, when she offered probably one of the most painful, honest replies she had ever given to you.

"I wouldn't know how to be anything else." She said quietly looking down at the golden liquid swirling tiredly in the glass in her hand, as if the small vortex formed there held the meaning of life, before she set it untouched on the coffee table, and if you wouldn't have known better, you would have thought that the one that you saw in her eyes was a mix of resignation, dismay and... uncertainty.

Only, this time, your impression wasn't wrong.

You wanted to tell her that she could be anything she wanted to be because, honestly, she really, _really_ could, and not only because you still think of her as absolutely one of the smartest and most confident persons you have ever met.

The words were forming in your head and feeling sincere in your heart too, but before you could let them out, Alex fiddled with her glasses and stood up, mumbling something about having emails to check or something.

Part of you knew that she needed a little space after such conversation. That maybe you shouldn't have started it in the first place. So you just sat there, watching her walk quietly towards the desk where her laptop rested open, wanting to follow her with every fiber of your being, but at the same time feeling stuck in place, held down by the weight of your own doubts, knowing how incompetent you were - and sometimes still are - when it comes to comforting people. Even if it's Alex.

Is one of those things you were still working on at the time.

You had never seen doubt filling Alex's usually confident voice and eyes before. And see your beloved, proud, majestic creature looking so... disorientingly despondent... pained and worried you in a way that no one else, not even today, has the power to make you feel.

You took what at the time seemed to be the wise choice to never bring the subject up again, because pretending that things were good, for how wrong, has always worked for you so far. But that didn't mean you felt anywhere near fine on the inside about that delicate matter.

As you are brought back from those distant memory and into the present, where you and Alex are lying in bed, and where she scrutinizes your expression and sees the plain regret in your eyes about the whole smuggling matter - which, for how contradictory, are also still veiled by a thin veil of excitement - you feel the same weight on your chest that you felt that day when Alex told you about how she started with this job.

But Alex isn't mislead by that tiny spark of thrill in your gaze, and just after a few more moments of intently looking at you, she nods, then swallows. Hard. Before offering you a small sincere smile that you interpret holding a mix of understanding and maybe even... apology.

"Okay." She says in the end, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. "Don't worry kid." With that she kisses softly your cheek before taking you in her arms. And at the reassurance and comfort that you find in her embrace, you finally feel fully and truly relieved. Allowing yourself to breathe deeply for the first time as you snuggle further in your lover's warmth.

You have felt the sincerity of her words. Heard the hint of regret in her voice as much as you have seen it flashing in her eyes.

And you believe her.

You really do.

And that's why, when just a couple of months later she asks you out of the blue if you are willing to go in Turkey, the question doesn't even remotely make you think that it could be for something else beside a small vacation-like trip considering how incredibly busy Alex has been lately, and how much you have missed her company during the day.

You are happy, excited at the thought of spending the weekend with you lover somewhere warm and exotic and make up for the past several weeks of... distance.

But that excitement slowly fades and then, at Alex's precisation, it turns into an upsetting realization that hits you with full force right in the stomach.

You can taste the forgotten acid of anger on the back of your throat as it surfaces. You try to remain somehow calm as you remind her of the conversation you had about such thing, but it's of no use when what Alex says next makes you question everything that your life has been in the past few years with her.

You are angry. Angry that Alex is willing and unconcerned by the idea of sending you yet again into another dangerous situation after you have been very clear about never wanting to do that thing ever again.

You are angry because Alex always told you that she loves you and then she doesn't even take in consideration the inevitable "what if this time something goes wrong?" question that should come up.

You are angry that she doesn't even hesitate at the thought of asking you if you want to go to a place where you are pretty sure they will slam you into a jail cell and throw away the key, leaving you there for the rest of your days in case you'd get caught.

She accusses you of not caring if she is struggling with work. She insults you, and in a very low blow she even dares to question your sexuality and the truthfulness of your relationship, which hurts more than you care to show at the moment, because beside the deep, stinging emotional wound you've never, _ever_ before even come near the absurd thought of Alex being the biphobic type.

You honestly aren't even sure if that's even what it truly is considering all that is going on, that maybe she is just as angry with you as you are with her.

A small part of you wants to make her reason, but at this point you are already a scorching ball of anger, which core burns with hurt and boiling doubts.

Everything you have lived in the past few years, every pleasant memory and loving moments you had with Alex gets shattered under the weight of that conclusive "I'm done" that leaves your lips, leaving you with the distorted reflection that appears in all those sharp fragments that is now your past.

You don't insult her as she does, or question her behavior, but limit yourself to point out the obvious, about what this kind of job is doing to her.

She looks at you with that "what did you expect? Traveling around the world with a drug dealer" look that match perfectly her "I thought we were in this together" speech.

That's probably your own fault.

Make her think that you somehow supported her in her business and activities.

You don't offer her an answer because you don't have one, and at the same time you have too many. So you just walk away and start packing your things, trying very very hard to ignore all the confusing, mixed and contradictory thoughts and feelings that are swirling relentlessly inside you.

You are glad that Alex doesn't follow you to keep fighting, or talk to you, or try to convince you into staying. Because if she does, you already know that you would probably end up by giving in.

But as you gather your things in automatic it doesn't take long for you to realize that this situation is either going to last forever or that maybe Alex would get caught because of this job sooner or later, and honestly, you don't know which one would be worse and more destructive for her. For you. And for you as a couple. Or if you would be able to take the decision to stay at her side in any eventuality.

Your relationship with Alex hasn't been so intense and close recently as it used to be. But now this...

You don't think you are actually absorbing the situation yet.

You were willing to give her the space and time to work properly even if it's something that made you feel neglected and lonely, but it has never bothered you so much. You know how to be patient in your impatience. But you can't stand the fact that she was willing to use you like this. Again.

Moving in automatic makes you more efficent. You book your flight, gather your things and prepare your bag. You only freak out when you can't find your passport and are forced to ask for Alex's help.

You know that there is never a better moment reserved for these kind of things, for when you decide to leave the love of your life because things just can't keep going like this, but in the moment you return in the bedroom, looking for your documents, you realize that your final decision about this relationship comes in the worst moment possible for Alex.

The anger that have consumed you for the past hour turns quickly into dibelief at the news about her mother.

You don't have words to offer her except a honestly pained "I'm so sorry" but you do sit at her side and pull her into a hug, stroking her hair and providing a comfort that you are not sure you are even able to convey so sincerely, especially in these circumstances.

She hasn't yet grasped the information, you can tell. You still find it hard to believe it yourself, but still, your decision remains the same much to Alex's hurt and incredulity when at her request you refuse to go back home with her.

The fact that she was the one who actually hid your passport in one last desperate, incredibly childish attempt to keep you there with her, and that she even softly _begs you_ to stay through lost, glistening pale green eyes and with a hitch of sorrow in her broken, raspy voice full of tears, should tell you exactly how much Alex isn't herself right now.

But to you it still doesn't make enough difference.

You both hate yourself and are proud for not faltering in your choice to leave in front of the most distraught, pained, desperate look you have ever seen on Alex's face.

You don't stay, because if you decide to, you know that you'll never leave her.

As you walk away and out into the streets you wonder how things could have turned so bad between you too so fast without a notice.

The weight of the bag that you are dragging at your heels is way too heavy considering all the most important things, the "everything" of years of love and devotion that you are leaving behind you. But you don't dare to turn back, not even to glance over your shoulder.

You just wonder if your relationship with Alex in these conditions was doomed since the beginning.

You wonder if things would have changed if that day when Alex had releaved to you how she got into this business you would have taken her hand in the moment she stood up from the couch and you would have told her that she could be anything she wanted to be and that she wasn't forced to do _this_. That she was _better_ than this.

You just wonder if things could have been different, simpler. But the answers only come to you as bitter tears that you can no longer hold back, and sobs that you can barely manage to strangle in your sore throat and muffle against your palm as the first true wave of painful reality hits you when you realize that you've just left the woman you love.

And that's what kills you.

The fact that even if you have left her it doesn't mean that you don't love her anymore.

It would have made things so much easier if that was the case. But it would also have made them impossibly unreal.

You still do love her more than anything.

It couldn't be any other way. Even after all that just happened.

You leave Alex in pain and truly alone. In the moment she needs you the most.

You leave the only person you have ever loved with everything that you are and the one who has loved you beyond human capabilities.

And yet, you still leave her.

But the thing that keeps hunting you for a very, very long time, is that Alex does never leave _you_.

* * *

 **I know... This part it's been a little bit painful for me to write, too. But hey, they are still going to meet in prison :)**


	12. Chapter 12

Hi everyone!

So here it is, the last chapter. I want to thank you all so much for your patience and for having been so supportive and kind with all your incredibly flattering comments you guys :) Really, thank you so much! Your words of appreciation for this story really means a lot to me, and they always make me smile :)

About this chapter, it's mostly about Piper's thoughts and feelings (no dialogues) when she gets into prison, and about her "new" relationship with Alex from season one (mostly) till the beginning of season three. But now I'll leave you to find out the rest :D

Enjoy

* * *

You think that you have always known, deep down, that you and Alex would have met again eventually.

It's something that's been floating just barely above the surface of that uncharted abyss of your subconscious, but also a feeling that's been echoing from somewhere in the hidden, basic structure of your heart, where the beats meet the raw true emotions, which, more specifically in this case, have always been registered as a contrasting mix of dread, reject and... something significantly close to hope.

Questions like how, when and where have always inevitably popped up whenever you felt that distant, undefined sensation buzzing inside you, but you haven't gone so far to picture a specific scene.

You haven't dared to.

But even if you had, you are pretty damn sure that not even in your wildest fantasies you would have ever imagined that you were going to meet your former lover in prison.

You haven't exactly imagined going to prison in the first place actually, but apparently, that only crime that you have committed years ago in your previous life comes to bite you in the ass, right when things with your new, conventional life were getting very good and stable.

Maybe if you knew that you were going to meet her, you would have tried to fight a little harder for your freedom instead of surrendering. But that's all pointless now.

The first time you see her it happens in a moment when you are overwhelmed by everything, pushed into a honest panic attack, and when she appears in front of you, you almost think of her as some sort of hallucination come to mock you. An unconscious, cruel reminder of how you got there.

But it turns out that the familiar, tall, lean figure with long black hair and piercing green eyes framed by dark rimmed glasses standing right in front of you, isn't the product of your mind.

The confirmation comes when she speaks to you and you realize that Alex is actually there, locked in that cage with you.

And you don't take that information well.

One thing is deal with the consequences of what you have done when you were young and naive and in search of that rush of adrenaline that you get when you do something dangerous and forbidden. But another is having to deal with your entire past and with the angry feelings that get brought up by having your former lover there as a constant reminder of the present that has been stolen to you.

That _she_ , you strongly suspect, has stolen from you.

Your first tactic - after having being clear that you don't want her anywhere near you - consists pretty much in avoiding her. But that doesn't go as expected.

Ignoring her for your entire sentence was never going to be possible, you knew that. It didn't stop you from trying though.

The annoying realization comes one day when you bump into her in the bathroom, and in that occasion you really can't contain anymore what has been gnawing at you since the moment you have first been accused and arrested.

You blame her for being in there. You openly accuse her of having been the one who has given your name when she was caught and dragged you along in this situation.

You would have never imagined that one day you would have ended up being so furious with the woman that you have loved more than anything and anyone else. But it happens. Although, deep down, you wonder if some of that anger that you have reserved for Alex isn't maybe even unconsciously addressed to yourself too. Because it's way easier blame someone else for your problems and ignore the fact that you have ended up in this situation because _you wanted_ to do what you have done.

Regrets aside, you can't deny the thrill that you got in that occasion.

And Alex reminds you just that with all its sharp truth, that cuts even deeper because of the icy quality of the brief, humorless, exasperated, derisive laugh that leaves her lips in a puff of air.

You have built your own confidence during the years and you are not afraid to fight her, but you can't argue with what she says. And you hate that.

You hate the fact that even after all this time she can perfectly read you and see right through you with such ease. You hate that she still _does_ know you so well.

You haven't expected her answer to be so harsh and stinging to hear, but what is even harder to witness after your stubborn denial and fierce conviction of her having definitely something to do about your presence here in prison, is the look in her eyes, the tiny, almost imperceptible quiver of emotion in her thick voice and the twitch of sorrow in her expression when she tells you exactly how badly you have hurt her by leaving like you did.

You weren't ready for that.

It hits you with much more force than you could have imagined was possible. Much more than what you are able to elaborate.

That look on your former lover's face is so foreign, almost shocking to see in all its barely contained pain that whatever you were going to say next dies instantly in your throat, and you are left there, speechless, unable to do anything but watch as a still hurting Alex walks away from you, not so differently than how you have done all those years ago.

You haven't expected that look to affect you so much.

Being angry with her has been a distraction. A way to feel less responsible for your incarceration and a way to suppress how guilty you still feel for the way you left. But now that the thick fog of anger is starting to dissipate, you can no longer ignore what is lying beneath it.

You have no other choice but to deal with it.

Just like everything else.

You now remember, how it felt like when you decided to leave Alex behind.

She wasn't the only one who came out hurt from that situation. You remember how the guilt has been gnawing relentlessly at you for a very, very long time. Eventually it has faded, but leaving you bristled and... incomplete. And now, as you watch her walk away from you, an old whisper of that distressing sensation starts echoing from that memory.

After that argument with Alex, your behavior around her inevitably changes. You wouldn't ever dare to ask for her forgiveness; in part because you still think that you haven't done anything wrong, and in part because you don't think you deserve it.

You are aware that those two reasons are mutually exclusive, but inconsistency is really nothing new to you anymore. Right now you just seek for less antagonism from her part. More tolerance as you abandon your bitter attitude. Maybe getting close to something that will even distantly resemble... _friendship_ will do to maintain a proper socially adequate appearance, doesn't matter how much that word makes you frown whenever you try to associate it with Alex.

It will just never fit.

Nicky, Alex's... friend... you think, is one of the few you feel you can trust in there, and she is your new rational viewer who makes you see things from the proper perspective by trying to clean your vision from your clinical, self-centered assholness disposition, and not only about Alex, but about many things you haven't truly considered before.

It seems impossible to you that now even try to engage in a conversation or stay in the same group with the woman that you have loved more than you will ever be able to express with words, feels now so awkwardly tense. It's not easy, especially at first. Many times you get nothing in return except from some empty glances and the expected cold shoulder, which, a great part of you actually thinks that it might be the kind of treatment that you still deserve, and the fact that during those first few days you are also hunted and mocked by memories of you and her in the previous life you have shared, when you were both happy like you have never been, when Alex used to smirk mischievously at you all the time while you gazed at her with the affection and elation that beat proudly in your chest, doesn't help either.

...it seems so long ago.

And the situation you are now in makes it all seem just... _so_ unreal. Especially when you think that you are somewhere together, but for the first time not _together_ in that sense.

Nostalgia has the better of you in a particularly weak moment of loneliness and you really can't help sitting on her bunk and pick up her pillow, getting lost in the scent lingering there even if just for a brief second.

For how much you have tried, with all your strength, to deny to yourself that you have never spent moments in the past years thinking about Alex in that way, you know that that isn't true.

You can't help but think that have your family and a fiancé waiting for you when you get out. And Alex... Well...

You wonder, somewhere in the back of your mind, where the thoughts cannot reach for some of those emotions dangerously close to jealousy and such, about Alex. If maybe she has someone special too, waiting for her on the outside, if maybe she has found someone else after you.

The lack of even some distracted mention, or phone calls, or visitation schedules beside that one time, is what gives you the confirmation that she doesn't have anyone, and honestly, you don't know what to think of that information or how to feel about it...

Decide to swallow down your pride and tell her that you are no longer mad takes a lot of your courage beside making you feel a little bit ashamed.

Alex doesn't seem to care, but you miss the little, barely contained smile that tugs briefly at her lips when you are not looking. Eventually though, you feel things getting maybe a little warmer around her, relatively short after that attempt of yours to get more... amicable.

The air becomes less tense, more pleasant. There are little changes that make the interaction between you two more comfortable, and you think that the main shift in this new uncharted territory of your... relationship , happens somewhere between the dryer accident - surprisingly spent between jokes and memories and a bit of playfulness followed by that sort of non-fight that you somehow knew was going to come sooner or later - and the delicate moment of teasing and comfort and... first real closeness, spent in her bunk that you have kind of ended up ruining with a sneeze.

In that particular occasion, something has stirred inside you. Just like it did at the almost panicked "don't leave" that Alex shouted to you while she was stuck in that dryer.

It's something that has never fallen completely asleep.

Considering the two separate occasions and the looks that you have exchanged then, make you kind of grateful for that sneeze actually.

It has provided a nice distraction from the nostalgic light that you have seen appear in Alex's eyes when she tentatively took your hand in hers.

You try to tell to yourself that you didn't read the plain flicker of old affection in those deep emerald pools.

You try to tell to yourself that you didn't feel your heart flutter for those few, brief but infinite seconds of connection at the feeling of her fingers slipping between yours with such familiarity.

But for how much you tried, part of you actually couldn't help but smile a little from the inside when you thought back about that gesture that made you think about how you used to see Alex; as that majestic, proud creature made in her own wildness, remembering very well that affectionate side of her that she reserved only for you and that made her look a bit more domesticated. A trait that you have noticed in that moment of hesitant approach accompanied by that tenderly confident look.

Yes, that's definitely the main moment where something has shifted between you two and started setting into the right place. The moment that makes a lot of feelings resurface from that part of you that has never been properly locked, but just pushed aside half-closed, not know how to deal with it.

You don't know what it could mean, but before you can realize it, a part of you has already started to surrender to all those sensations, and especially to the no longer ignorable feeling of exactly how much you have missed Alex looking at you like that. Of how much you have missed _Alex._

Relive a few happy memories with her, remembering the life that you had together, when you were young and carefree and so, _so_ deeply in love that it hurt, couldn't have brought up anything else but nostalgia of those lost times.

In your observation you can't help but notice that Alex doesn't seem to struggle as hard as you do in there, or at least that's what you see at first.

The wish for freedom of a wild creature held in captivity is immeasurable, but she is resigned. Knowing that she couldn't go anywhere in any case. You just aren't aware of the depth of the distress that she keeps inside her.

You on the other hand are struggling, and it's pretty visible from the outside too. You struggle to survive. And most of all you struggle with yourself, with reality, and with the reality that you have fed to your loved ones for all this time and that you have ended up believing in.

It turns out that the man you are supposed to marry once you get out doesn't know you like you thought. Not the _real_ you. Not the you that you are rediscovering with every piece that crumbles from the mask you didn't know you have been wearing.

Alex instead...

She still knows you, and talking and laughing with her feels nothing but normal and good.

It's flawless, as if you have never stopped to exist together, not even for a minute. It shouldn't surprise you anymore considering your history. Not even if you consider your first thoughts about her and your first interaction when you got here.

Staying so close to her in that dance might have started to dig much deeper in that bottomless emotional chest than can handle all at once. The sensation of her body rubbing so suggestively against yours combined with her heady scent wrapping around you make your head spin and it throws you right back in time.

Unfortunately it even ends up by throwing you right into an unfair solitary confinement punishment that leaves you with all the time to consider your mistakes and think about what these past few days with Alex have meant to you.

You don't make clarity, too busy being afraid to spend the rest of your days in that hole. And yet, when the hateful, slimy, homophobic guard that has thrown you in there dares to insult her, you stand up for her. Fiercely. That's probably what earns you a couple of more days in that lovely suite, and still, despite the fact that you were probably going insane in there and that you have sworn to never get near her again, those dark thoughts driven by panic vanish in front of the light that you see when you get finally released.

The perspective changes once you are no longer in that cold empty darkness.

A few days held in captivity couldn't break you, no.

But they did manage to shatter your external appearance, feeling it crumble with every step that you take as soon as you are out from that box made of cold stone, shaking it off you and making it more clear for you to see the deep desire lying beneath all the dust left by those fragments.

That's what grows exponentially inside when your first decision is to go find Alex, when you take her hand and drag her to the chapel, where for the first time in a very long time, _everything_ feels finally right. Every discarded piece falls into the perfect spot, like its supposed to in the moment you crash your lips against hers, surrendering against the nonsense that you have tried to fight so stubbornly for all this time.

There is really no point in pretending anymore.

You want her.

You _need_ her.

And as you eagerly remove each other's clothes in between kisses and gasps, and then lay down on the hardwood floor, skin against skin, warmth against warmth, feeling your bodies fitting even more perfectly than you remembered, you are overwhelmed by the adrenaline that runs through your veins, by the sensations that fill your senses along with the well-known thick red fog of desire and need that clouds your thoughts.

Alex still feels the same against you. The weight of her solid body on top of yours, the softness of her perfect alabaster skin under your hands... It sends sparks of raw electricity down your spine to ignite every nerve endings.

Her deep kisses still have the power to make your head spin and make you feel weak in the knees.

Her touch still holds promises of an endless ecstasy, but this time, for how much your body wants nothing more that feel her all over you, the desire to have your hands and mouth on her first, is so strong that beats even your own scorching need, and so, for the very first time, you manage to overpower that exquisite dominant nature of hers and end up on top of her, ready to devour her.

And Alex certainly doesn't protest. Perfectly able to read that overwhelming need that burns so fiercely inside you and leave herself completely open to you.

Every inch of her still tastes of the same delicious flavor you remember, from the delicate one of her skin and lips, to the mouth watering, heady one of her arousal.

You make your way down her body and kiss her intimately, losing yourself in that unique, delicious salty-sweet nectar, in the feeling of her clit hardening between your lips at every suck, and in the wonderful sensation of being inside of her and being wrapped so tightly by the blissful warmth of her fluttering inner walls when you push past her slick, tight opening with your fingers.

Her deep, guttural moans fill the air around you with her intoxicating scent, making you feel dizzy but at the same time fueling even more your desire for more, especially when you look up at her, over the plane of her smooth toned stomach, to meet the look of pure pleasure covering her face.

You notice how her lips still part in a silent moan and her eyebrows still twitch and furrow as her eyes flutter shut when she is about to come. And when she does come, it's not an empty scream the one that leaves her lips as her body convulses with wave after wave of pure bliss. But it's _your name_.

When you can no longer ignore the throbbing need between your own legs Alex is more than eager to take over even with you still resting on top of her, looking definitely pleased when you take her hand and shove it into your underwear. Unable to wait a second longer to feel her where you most need her. And she doesn't make you wait before pushing past your entrance.

You didn't forget how wonderful she feels inside you take in and ride her fingers, setting the pace while Alex decides the depth. But the feeling is so intense and perfect that it makes you wish you would have somehow prepared yourself for the massive wave of emotions that comes along with the incredible sensation of those talented fingers pressing so deep into you and curling with precision over and over against that sweet spot on your front wall.

She remembers every single one of the secrets hold hidden by your body. But how could she have forgotten them since it was her the one who has discovered such wonders in the first place.

With her long digits stretching you so deliciously and with your clit rubbing against her palm at every jolt forward of your hips it doesn't take long for you to come over and over again until you have nothing left to give and you can no longer even manage holding yourself up.

Being intimate with her erases the line of time that has kept you apart and finally fills that hollow in your chest that you have unconsciously tried to patch up with something over all these years.

When you are spent, you collapse on top of Alex like a sweaty, panting, but fully sated mess, burying your head in the crook of her neck where the essence of the scent of her skin lingers most.

Alex is there to catch you and when you eventually come down from your high and return into your body once again, you barely manage to hold back the tears that swell in your eyes at the feeling of being held by Alex like this after so long, and at the sensation of her heart beating right against yours.

For the first time since you got into prison, there, in Alex's arms, you finally feel free.

After that occasion something new gets silently established between you two, and with the conflicting emotions of guilt and hesitation mostly out of the way, you finally allow yourself to examine her with the same loving attention and care that you used to admire her in your previous life. And the conclusion at which you arrive eventually after an accurate observation, is that the Alex Vause that you find in prison is pretty much the same of almost a decade ago.

Time has been kind with her, she doesn't look any different from the pictures of her that you keep preciously in that secret, vast compartment of your memory, except her hair are slightly shorter, her eyes are lacking a little of that distinctive spark of excitement that you have known well, but besides these details, she still carries herself tall and confident, even when she paces the cage in which she is held captive.

You soon realize that she is still the same tease that she was then and she is still endlessly amused by some of the things that you say, and generally, by your entire behavior.

She still flirts with you at every chance she gets and manages to make you blush lightly.

You both can't keep your hands and mouth away from each other whenever you find yourselves alone somewhere like a couple of horny teenagers, and apparently, she is still the same shameless snuggler and general secret sucker for physical contact that she used to be. And you love that that hasn't changed over the years.

You have a taste of that incredibly tender aspect of her during one particular morning on her mattressless bunk, when she openly invites you to cuddle on the hard, fucking uncomfortable metal frame. But you couldn't care less about it. Not when you feel Alex folding her warm, both solid and soft body protectively around you to keep you close.

You have a fiancé, you should get married when you get out.

But being with Alex, like this... doesn't make you feel even half as guilty as you think it should.

Talking and joking and laughing and cuddle with Alex feels so incredibly good and honest. Being with her feels nothing less than absolutely right and perfect.

You melt in her embrace and silently hum with delight when she presses her lips on your neck.

It just feels... so right. Cozy and warm and familiar in a way you have long forgotten. It gives you comfort, and most of all, it gives you the kind of connection and deep, true understanding that you have missed so much for way too long.

Being in prison is not changing you. It's just shattering the fake version of yourself, the one that wanted a stable life and agreed to get married because that was what you thought was supposed to be. But what you now see lying clearly beneath all of that, is the same you of almost a decade ago, with a few facets that you forgot you had and are now rediscovering the deeper you dig.

Larry has never seen this you. The real you. The you that Alex knows so well and hasn't forgotten.

The strong flutter that echoes in your chest during those few instant of peace playfulness and tenderness tells you that you still love her. And you know it's true. The realization came way before this moment, not so clearly at first but it has overwhelmed you just the same.

You know that she feels that too, even if she offers you that nerdy version of "I love you" instead there in her bunk, because maybe say _those_ real three words would be too much. Maybe it would make her feel too vulnerable and exposed. You don't know.

All you know is that you welcome them fully, you accept and return her sweet, tender kiss, and after spending a long minute swimming in the undeniable, proud, breathing affection that you see reflected into those bright emerald pools, those same words leave your lips right from your chest in between strong flutters and waves of warmth, where they have been living all along in your heartbeat.

Only now you realize how stupid it has been for you to think that the love that you had for Alex would have dissolved into nothing. That time and new experiences would have taken away that uniqueness that you had.

Your love for Alex doesn't erode.

It doesn't get weather-beaten during the years like a cold lifeless statue.

How incredibly naive it has been of you to think that someone, someone like Larry, would have made you feel as loved and complete and important and understood as Alex did- _does._

And how delusional to think that you would have ever loved anyone else with the same burning intensity you loved Alex.

You don't think you have ever felt more at peace and at home than in this moment.

Not even all that follows next and the anger that you feel once again for her when you find out that it is her fault if you are in here, takes that feeling away from you, not even being rejected by her after you broke her heart all over again and then getting screwed over in Chicago is enough to lessen that pure sentiment.

It doesn't stop you from cursing her name when she gets out and you remain stuck in prison though, or from throwing away the letters that she sends you until you can't ignore them anymore.

But that feeling, that inextinguishable spark of raw love keeps flickering proudly in your chest despite everything else.

It makes you take a very arguable decision after she tells you about her situation and worries, when you realize that she could _really_ disappear forever and leave you behind, alone.

Realizing that it might be over for good with Larry is one thing, it hurts, especially when you find out about him and your best friend. But what Alex wants to do... The thought of not having her... You simply can't allow it.

You think you have loved Larry, but not in that breathtaking, heart stopping, all-consuming way you have loved- _you love_ Alex.

When your plan works and she lands right back there, that emotion burns even right through the harsh sting of the horrible insult that she spats in your face when you out of guilt reveal to her that's you the real reason why she is back in prison.

After you talk it out - or maybe "roughly fuck it out" is the better term - that sentiment makes you admit your mistake and open your heart in front of twenty other inmates, none of which you know gets fooled by the adaptation of terms that you do to make it seems more like the "acting scene" you were supposed to be having.

But you don't care.

All you care, all you wait for, is Alex's response to your honesty.

It's hardly to consider all of this square if you think about how much you have wounded the love of your life. But apparently, she is willing to look past all of that.

She forgives you with a smile, one of those soft, genuine smiles of hers that you haven't seen for a very long time on her face and that makes your heart leap with lightness.

You are pretty sure that if you didn't have an audience and two guards looking at you, you would have definitely kissed her right there on the spot.

You are not sure if, after having hurt her so badly - and maybe as she says having put her in danger - you are worth of her love. But you take it.

You always will.

You can't live without it.

Alex Vause should be coming with a warning, you think.

The beware warning. But only with the sort of emotional danger.

Not everyone knows how much of a wild creature she is. How protective and fierce she can become, and more importantly, what you have started to suspect even after all the shit that you have thrown at each other during these months, is that when she finds her mate and loves her - the kind who truly understands and appreciates and loves her back as fiercely as Alex does - it is probably for life.

Blurting out if she wants to be your girlfriend like an awkward teenager wasn't exactly what you had in mind after your forgiveness and reconciliation, but considering how you have spent the afternoon calling her just like that in front of you whole family makes it... appropriate, you think. And also very amusing, not only for Alex who busts out laughing, but also for yourself.

The playfulness between you two hasn't been affected by all the things that you have done to each other in the past months. It's undoubtedly a new chapter in your relationship, but the essence, the true spark that got lit up almost a decade ago is still there, and maybe, all that you have done so far, the blows of cold wind that have threatened to blow it out, have only made it burn even more brightly and intensely.

In all of this, there is one thing that you know for sure and know, deep down, that it will never change, because it never did.

And so, as you break that kiss there in her bunk after she has accepted to be your "girlfriend" you lean your forehead against hers and whisper the truth that lives proudly within you.

"I love you, Alex." You tell her, unable to keep those words locked in for a second longer.

Your eyes flutter open just in time to catch the smile that tugs at her lips right before she tenderly bumps her nose with yours in a gesture worth of the big, wild but affectionate feline reciprocating the sentiment that she is, hearing her humming softly in the back of her throat before she finally lifts her gaze to meet yours and you see those stunning emerald eyes sparkling with adoration and the hint of warm amusement that is still lingering there from a few minutes ago.

"I love you too, Pipes." She says at last. And even if her look is already more than enough to make you feel warm and accepted and reciprocated, the soft tone in her voice as she says those words so easily and obviously, makes you feel safe, as if you know that you'll always have her.

You grin before claiming her lips once again in a deeper, more passionate kiss full of sentiment that Alex returns eagerly through a smirk.

Maybe it wasn't the force of the Universe the one that has brought you together.

You have changed each other's destiny, interfered with your lives, or maybe yours and Alex's is really interlaced in that cosmic way that deep down you have dared to think but never dared to say out loud. Where time and space don't affect your perception and that true, deep, raw affection once you find each other again in it's infinite vastness.

Because maybe, after all, you really do belong with her.

* * *

 **Lets just pretend for a minute that what happened later in season three between these two didn't happen :) Or maybe we even could given the message at the end :D Anyway, here it is guys!** **Thanks for reading everyone :)**


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